Boisterous 3 yr old- should i be worried?

[LBertie1]

Hya, i have a 3.3 yr old who has just started nursery 2 wks ago. He also went to preschool 2ams a wk prior to this for a few months but prior to this never really been around kids alot. He is not sitting well at nursery and never did at preschool. They said hes always fidgitting and not concentrating on storys/songs, but at home will sit and listen to a few stories with us. Hes been on timeout today for running inside and trying to climb a table! When he started preschool he was hitting and pushing all the time but stopped after a few wks. At the moment im having to collect him early as he tried to get out one day before id gotten into the nursery. The preschool had concerns because he was shouting out, which he has started doing since we had our baby- we thought attention seeking. Should i be worried about his behaviour? I sort of feel like ive got the naughty child! Hes lively but not unmanagable at home.he will watch a film, do puzzles, and plays with cars/trains for hours. It stresses me out a bit collecting him but think im just getting into the whole nursery thing and thinking too much!

Can you walk to nursery / go to the park before nursery ie burn off some of the excess energy?
There is a saying that boys need to be treated like dogs - fed well and exercised twice a day. You don't mention if its your Son or Daughter, but it sounds like my two if I don't get them out of the house - they climb the sofas, jump up and down the stairs, play fight - you name it, they start burning off energy.
He sounds great! Hard work, but great.

Yes its a bit.we walk to nursery but its only 5 mins. I think the preschool have made me worry a little as they werent sure if he was showing signs of aspergers with the shouting and hitting! Baring in mind hed only been with them about 8 days when they said this! he doesnt really have autistic traits ie rigid with routine or struggling with change etc. I guess i just wanted some reassurance that this can b normal 3 yr old behaviour! Hes by know means bouncing off the walls all day and has been lovely with our 8 month old, and very loving. He just shows u up a bit when around other kids.

Sounds like pretty normal behaviour to me. Give him more time to settle down.

Thanks i will. I was just bothered if not concentrating at circle time at nursery - u think about adhd dont u.think he has improved with this over the wk tho.

It sounds like everyone is expecting too much of him tbh. He's 3. Most 3 year olds I know, including my own ds, run around, concentrate little and shout. Does he get plenty of opportunities for physical activities?

DD is this child. Loud, shouty, pushy. She fails at circle time. I run her like a puppy as often as possible. However, preschool have worked with her really well. They come from the position that she is great. I would be worried if they were trying to 'diagnose' normal toddler behaviour. Some children are just at the active end of the normal range.

DS is that child too. Every now and again I worry he's got ADHD but if I emphasise to him (he's 6 now) that he needs to behave/listen etc he can do it. I believe ADHD kids simply can't because of their brain wiring. If yours can sit and do puzzles and the like, he should be fine. Mine fidgets like crazy when he's reading. I think it's a concentration thing. This last week he's had three separate lots of teachers say he's suddenly improved and it's because we have refused to tolerate certain behaviour. Yours is three, so it's not yet an imperative, but when he's at school you may find you need to be firm!

I can only speak about Aspergers from my own POV - have thought for a while now that if I'd been born today I'd be diagnosed. I never could play with other kids - was banned from one pre-school group because I had a tantrum screaming that I hated it because I didn't like other children because they didn't want to do what I wanted! Mum didn't know what to do with me... Didn't have a best friend until I got to teens and had started to parrot-learn the socially acceptable responses, but I'm still not exactly brilliant... ;)

Thankyou! To b honest hes not getting as much excercise as id like at the mo because the weather is so poor. Hes sat building towers as we speak. I think the preschool had best intentions but took him to docs and was waste of time. They said too young. We do wonder if he just needs to learn the boundarys at nursery. Its just not nice feeling like your childs the naughty one. I know other kids have probably got other issues that u dont know about, but will look forward to rhe day that i can take him with no stress of wondering if hes been good! Lol.

I found it great to focus on her strengths. So, while the other children could sit still, she could walk for 6km round a lake without whining or complaining. She could climb the 6 or older stuff at the park with not a whimper. DH says that when society breaks down watched The Road recently DD will be queen of all she surveys. She doesn't complain when she falls or bumps herself. She is always cheerful and eats what is put in front of her. She is kind. What are your DS' strengths?

Sounds just like my DS. He adjusted well to a new kindergarten - it just took a while to learn what was expected of him.

Did the pre-school actually mention aspergers and autism? If so, they were being completely inappropriate. They are not in any position to "diagnose" children. 8 days is no time at all. Your ds needs time to settle in, and they need to work with positive strategies to help him begin to follow the pre-school routines and co-operate with the other children. I am a pre-school teacher and would not dream of saying to a parent that their child had autistic traits. After a period of time observing, supporting and working with a range of strategies, I might consider talking to the parent about involving the local authority inclusion service if I felt that I needed some additional advice about how best to help the child make progress.

For the first few months my DS was at preschool one of the teachers had to sit with him for circle time, gently restraining him! He just took time to adjust to the new environment and rules. He's still definitely the loud and boisterous child, but he can sit still for circle time. Your preschool doesn't sound great.

Yes the preschool did say they had seen some traits which may or may not be related to aspergers. They then got a special needs teacher to observe him for an hour and they suggested we could get him referred to a paediatrician. He only did 4 months at preschool for 2 ams a wk so we thought they jumped the gun a bit. They were concerned bcause he was shouting out alot, which started after we had our baby, and blanking them a bit (which he doesnt do at home). They also gelt his conversational skills were lacking a bit but they have since come on lovely. He is quite a bright kid. Very gud with letters/numbers and computers.

might help you understand his need for movement.

It may not do any harm to get a referral to a paediatrician as the waiting lists can be long and you can always cancel the appointment if nobody has any concerns by then.

Thanks Goldmantra that was great. I sometimes teach young people budgeting skills and always tell them it's OK to tap, draw, fidget as long as they are 'present'. Now I just need to apply that knowledge to DD.

Hya, just an update.. Hes improved slightly. On 4th wk now, hes sitting better as they are sitting him near to an adult which is helping. Much better feedbk this wk although his behaviour is still very lively at freeplay time. Things like when the bell rings he will carry on playing outside. Im meeting hos teacher in couple of weeks to disguss strategies and targets!

I am a nursery nursery and he sounds like a lot of 3 year old boys. He has a lot of energy he need to be outside running it off. Does he have free access to outdoor play through out the day? They nursery staff should be encouraging him to learn through play outside.