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Original poster

skeletal 4year old: Does NOT eat ...help?

86 replies

sallybean · 16/01/2014 21:04

My nephew is 4.
He does not eat.
And I don't just mean he's fussy, I mean he functions for 5 or 6 days at a time on two dry crackers. He has never, ever eaten a proper meal. He has been to the doctors repeatedly (due to so many and varied ailments from his lack of immunity and general bad health) but they just say he will "grow out of it". It breaks my heart because he is so very thin. He looks emaciated and pale and suffers so much with his health. But he has no appetite. The whole family have tried everything we can think of, but nothing works.
It has been suggested that he is seen (privately) by a professional, but I'm not sure where to start?? pediatrician? Dietician? ...???

Any ideas? Any advice? Any experiences?

Thanks in advance!

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VivaLeBeaver · 16/01/2014 22:06

Dd didnt eat many chips, her appetite was minimal. Its 12 years ago now so I can't remember all of what she said but it wasn't all about diet, a lot was about the psychology of getting her more interested in food.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/01/2014 22:07

Dogwood not heard of neophobic before, and yes my dd is of course one of the few who won't eat ketchup either...

PacificDogwood · 16/01/2014 22:09

'Weak' teeth don't necessarily hurt - has a dentist had a look at his mouth?

He needs to see paeds - if he is that fussy about 'wet' things maybe there is more of a behavioural issue behind it.
Will he drink something through a straw/toddler cup?

Ovenbaked chips are not the worst thing in the world to eat.
Cubes of chess?
Frankfurter sausages?

DS1 would only every eat anything using a fork/spoon, would not touch anything 'wet'.

What does he drink? Can you add calories to what he drinks?

Sorry, a bit of disordered rambling - my main bit of advice is for him to be seen by a specialist for consideration of assessment of whether there is a physical or behavioural problem.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/01/2014 22:10

Ah the toddler milk. Try to convince her to get him off it as soon as poss. There is good research that the added iron can actually hinder development and it can be constipating which can cause lack of appetite.

My bfs dd would never eat and she loved toddler milk! couldn't get enough...

Original poster
sallybean · 16/01/2014 22:11

Will have a look into neophobic.

Have told my sister to keep a food diary to take as a record. Not sure there's much else I can do.
Will help her find dietician to begin with. Will also look into the hospital suggestions.

Thank you one & all!!!

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 16/01/2014 22:11

Julie, I am not sure about the whole neophobia thing at all, but when I am at my wits' end with DS4 (3.10) who survives on cereal, Cheesestrings Hmm, rhubarb yoghurt and the occasional banana, then I feel better thinking he has something with a big fancy name

If I had not weaned 3 other children who now eat pretty much everything, I'd not believe that what DS4 survives on was possible.

Original poster
sallybean · 16/01/2014 22:13

The toddler milk was a gp suggestion. He isn't keen on it, but will have some if he's eaten nothing at all.

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/01/2014 22:14

Could your sister get a second opinion at her GPs? Failing that, could she ask to pay for the first appointment with a Paed?

Original poster
sallybean · 16/01/2014 22:14

And yes, he's been to the dentist, but they only do a little check & ddidn't mention anything.

OP posts:
MomentForLife · 16/01/2014 22:16

I really dont know im afraid. From what i understand, paed, dietician etc are services you get referred to. If it were me i would try to see another gp and really push for referal. If no joy, i would look for a private gp or paed
I think he would need ongoing appointments so it sounds like he needs someone to make the initial referal.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/01/2014 22:16

Is that the same GP who refuses to refer? Sounds like he could do with a little more training and a little less reliance on the formula company's information

barleysugar · 16/01/2014 22:17

Is that true, jilted johns Julie? I thought iron supplementation was supposed to enhance appetite? Very interested to hear this as my nephew is also a terrible eater but still has formula!

Original poster
sallybean · 16/01/2014 22:17

She's seen all the docs at her surgery. They were all sympathetic but not massively concerned...which is beyond my comprehension as to look at him, he looks ill he's so pale. Yes, a private pediatrician appointment will have to be our next step.

OP posts:
MomentForLife · 16/01/2014 22:18

Sorry for my slow reply, stupid phone. Good luck

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/01/2014 22:19

Yep formula of any sort isn't recommended after 12 months, unless prescribed for a specific reason by a Paed obviously and the follow on milks and toddler milks aren't recommended at all in the uk.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/01/2014 22:20

Could you ask on Mn local if anyone has experience of a good Paed?

MomentForLife · 16/01/2014 22:20

Just thought, if he attends any kind of child care im sure they can make a statement about how it is affecting his health/ ongoing illnesses etc.

piemashandliquer · 16/01/2014 22:21

I dont know where you live, but if its feasible, st Thomas's hospital un London has an excellent paediatric behavioral feeding team, try contacting the hospital direct re referral. The team consists of an OT, paediatrician, psychologist and dietician.

TheGreatHunt · 16/01/2014 22:22

A paediatrician is what you'd need. They'd do blood tests (has your sister demanded the GP refer her?) and refer to a dietician if necessary.

barleysugar · 16/01/2014 22:24

Thanks for that reply, could you point me in the direction of any papers saying that? My sister is really reluctant to take him off the formula...

PacificDogwood · 16/01/2014 22:28

Toddler/Follow-on milks are a great big con Angry.

I too don't understand this reluctance to refer.

Helpyourself · 16/01/2014 22:32

It's very difficult to advise, because I can't imagine it getting to this stage- that's not to suggest that your sister hasn't done the very best, I just can't getting my head round it.
I think I'd try everything now including
*letting him eat whatever he wants even if its chips and icecream. As he eats so very little now, he's stomach just won't want food- the more he eats the better his appetite will become.
*taking him to the supermarket and letting him chose whatever he wants.
*Taking him to a restaurant- perhaps a buffet, not rushing him but talking him around all the different dishes and describing them.
*Reasoning with him: take him to the science museum and looking at the models of the human body and digestive system.
*cajoling, threatening and letting him see how worried his family are.
Good Luck!

PacificDogwood · 16/01/2014 22:32

Info from the AnalyticalArmadillo with various links to the original studies.

Reincarnatedpig · 16/01/2014 22:33

One of my children was like this. We tried the dietician and the psychologist with no success. There are "eating clinics" at some hospitals I think Great Ormond St do/did one. Our GP maintained that DC would eat once they went to school. Not altogether true but now a teenager and eating more or less normally but still skinny.

Oh yes, make sure you have a nice GP. We had an absolute cunt of a HV who attempted to suggest we were deliberately starving our child. GP said she was talking crap. Otherwise I fear we may have been sent down the SS path.

Onetwothreeoops · 16/01/2014 22:34

Has your sister spoken to the health visitors? They can make referrals and, in my experience, take the mums concerns seriously.