Leaving 5mo baby to moan for 5-10 mins while he finds his thumb isn't the same as cry-it-out is it??

[Alias78]

I just want to check. 5mo DS struggles to drop off to sleep when we first put him to bed (at night or naps). He's learned to pull his dummy out but doesn't know how to put it back again! He's a thumb-sucker too but sometimes takes 5-10 mins to find his thumb.

Now, if I put him to bed and he moans/grizzlies lightly whilst trying to settle himself, is this different to "cry it out"? If we go in to him while he's having a little moan it just seems to distract him rather than settle him so we tend to leave him. If he starts properly crying we go in to settle him.

Is this ok? I really don't like the sound of CIO and want to make sure I'm not doing anything that might make him feel insecure.

No its not the same don't worry.. you know your baby and moaning is different to that irresistible scream that makes you come running.

Sounds fine to me! You say yourself if he cries then you go to him.

Thank you! I feel a bit silly (PFB!) but it's been on my mind if I'm doing the right thing :)

Learning that he needs to wriggle around a bit to find his thumb before he can relax and fall asleep is not the same as learning that, no matter how upset or uncomfortable he is and no matter how long he screams for you, you will not be coming.

No, it is fine to leave him while he is 'moaning' - it's not just that he is 'looking for his thumb' but it's a technique of it's own to get to sleep.

Moaning is not crying.

You are doing the right thing :)

I definitely go running when he cries properly. He just did it during a nap and I pretty much just flew off the sofa! Thanks for replies. It's nice to get a bit of reassurance.

Chipping - I didn't know the moaning thing was a settling technique!

LOL - right, you need to stop doing that! :)

You don't need to break your neck to get to him every time he starts to cry. He needs to learn to self settle and be given a bit of space to work the world out. It is not CIO to give him a few minutes to see if he settles of if it escalates.

Honestly - it's not! :)

Moaning - leave all the while it's just moaning :)

Crying - leave him for a few minutes to see if it settles down or if it escalates :) Not to mention there's a bit difference between 'crying' (I've woken myself up and wah wah wah) and 'wailing' (I'm wet, it's disgusting - please deal with it or I'm starved where's my milk???). Crying sometimes stops, wailing seldom does - don't rush in until you know what he's 'saying'.

I read somewhere that grizzling like this is actually part of a sleep strategy- they are trying to block out other stimuli while they drop off. So please don't worry- it's all part of his plan!

Thanks chipping and thunders x

Totally fine! Real crying is the type of crying that is hard to ignore, where you know they're calling out to you because they want you to come back. The grizzling/whining that some babies do when falling asleep is fine.

OOH glad I found this thread now, reading the comments above. My DS2 does this weird zombie noise when he's self settling, I always wondered what that was about!!

Totally different. I started a thread about pretty much the same thing a few months ago! Happy to report that they get much better at finding their thumbs!