Trying to stop staying with son whilst he goes to sleep

[doobs]

Help please. My son is nearly 3 and I have always taken him to bed, read a story and then sat in the rocking chair in the corner until he falls asleep. Sometimes this takes ages. I always make sure he is in bed for 7.30 but often don't leave him until 8.30/8.45 - I have just started working full time and have jobs to get on with. If I leave the room whilst he is awake he starts crying. Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!

tell him you are going for a cup of tea and will be back in 10 minutes. go back in 10 minutes, then forget something and again tell him you will be back. repeat til he is asleep. eventually he will get used to being left without the feeling that you have completely deserted him

What good suggestions! I have been slipping into this habit for ds's afternoon nap so thanks for ideas.

Thanks for ideas - i will give them a try tonight - might even set up the ironing board on the landing!!! X

I used to tell mine that i just had to pop to the toilet - something they knew i had to do. Then i took ages about it and sometimes they'd drop off to sleep.

Had exactly the same prob with ds1, tried the things suggested lots also a cd of peacefull music- classical not songs he could join in with. In the end dh came downstairs one night having just reached the point that he had had enough, he had said to him, you are going to get into bed, I am going to read you a story then you are going to lie down and go to sleep and I am going downstairs, if you go to sleep I will give you a present in the morning! ( we often had to lie in bed with him he was so bad)
We didn't hear another sound So dh rushed off to sainsburys at 10 at night ao get a tweenies video We then made a star chart and used it for going to bed, I realise this is not exactly a reccommended course of action and only happened because dh had reached the point he needed our evenings back but bribery has it's place have you tried a star chart? you could couple it with the other ideas to reward him when he goes off on his own.

Very interest thread as we have the same problem with DD 2.7. Sometime it can take from 7.30 until 10.00 to get her to sleep... We usually do this in shift lately as DH is pulling his hair out (actually got none left)....

We bath, read 1 story on lap, 1 story in bed then try to settle down, but DD takes soooo long to go to sleep.. And until recently won't let DH leave to the room at all. I have taken over recently after a while and found that she is ok if I leave for 5 mins at a time, but not sure if that is because she knows that I won't have her mucking me around so much as DH or if she is tiredier than when DH firsts put her down.

Last night I went in at 9.00 and finally she fell asleep at 10.00 when I was downstairs on my 3rd 5 mins away...

So I know that she can fall asleep on her own (this has taken 1 month or so to get to this stage)... She also sleeps better during the night now and I am convinced that it is because she is often falling asleep on her own at bedtime..

This worked for us with ds aged 3 - we would say "I am just popping downstairs to do xyz, back in a minute." If he cries or calls to you, go back immediately, stay a few minutes, then say "I'll just go and finish off my jobs..." Repeat ad infinitum. There is a lot of stair climbing involved in this stage - just think of the lovely toning effect it will have on your calves

When this has all gone well and he has fallen asleep a few times by himself, start delaying a bit before you go back, by calling out "just a minute" and waiting before going up. Space this out gradually so that it becomes longer and longer in between visits.

The final stage for us was to tell ds we were both busy and tired, and could he please not call out quite so often as it was hard work for us to keep going up and down stairs. We agreed he would call out only 3 times per evening (often he doesn't call at all). This has enabled us to move gently towards him sleeping by himself without ever becoming upset about it (if he cries or seems to need extra comfort that night we just go with it - we don't stick to the 3 times agreement if he is not coping with it - but he has been happy with it on all but a handful of occasions.

I hope this helps - it has given me a lot more time to, erm, well, to Mumsnet really but think of all the things you could be doing in the evening

It seems to be working! Since last Friday I have put son to bed and read a story as usual, then told him I have to go and do something - I have been getting jobs done upstairs - putting washing away etc. He has been dozing off all by himself. I think I stuck with the old routine of staying with him for so long as I thought it would be such a nightmare to get out of the habit - happily surprised and proud of him. Now have more time and jobs are getting done! Thanks for all your messages. XXX