Struggling with toddler tantrums, advice please

[Jemster]

Hi
I'm struggling with how to deal with my dd, 21 months, at the moment. She goes to a childminder every morning and she always says she's been fine. She has an hour's nap there in the morning.
When I get her home she is such hard work. She whines constantly, demands snacks, cries if she doesn't get her way. It is constant and it's driving me a little crazy!
We go to pick up ds from school and she refused to go in the pushchair but it's by a busy road and I don't want her walking by it. This causes a tantrum.
She's started shouting no mummy at me and just generally being very shouty and irritable. She hates it if we have to pop to the shop and makes it almost impossible to get her in the trolley. She wants everything that ds, 6, has which isn't always possible and she screams if she doesn't get it.
I have trouble making their tea as she won't play by herself at all and cries for my attention constantly.
I really don't know what to do and would appreciate ideas from anyone please.
What really gets me down is that the childminder says she is fine, so where the heck am I going wrong?!

The CM needs to start pushing her nap back. At that age, she eally needs a nap after lunch rather than before, in order to help get her through the rest of the day.

Thank you, do you know that is exactly whatvI have been thinking! I think by the time she is with me in the afternoon she is tired but she won't nap any more and if she did she would not go to bed at night. I think it fits in well with the cm's routine but it's not really working for me! I don't pick her up until 1.30pm so I just wonder if she can hold out that long for a sleep.

Yes, later nap definitely needed, so around 1.30

Definetly try and delay it. a cm who you are paying should be able to do this.