Fussy eater should I let hunger win him over?

[StrawberryDaiquiriPlease]

My 6 yr old ds eats a limited list of foods eg cereal, toast, apple, croissants with nutella, chicken nuggets, sausages, garlic bread and pizza. I know some people say that they offer sensible meals and their child can go to bed hungry if they wont eat.

I think I find this too painful and it feels too cruel, but I think I need to give this a go again, what would be reasonable? I'm really limited in what I can offer for packed lunches, the only fruit ds will eat is an apple and I think the school think the rest of what I pack is junk.

For dinner I tend to offer from a small range of about 4 meals exactly as ds likes them. If we were to go to someone else's house it would all have to taste exactly the same for ds to eat it. It would need to be the exact food I normally buy for him.

What could I offer for a reasonable breakfast lunch and dinner before going to see specialists to test out my ds's resolve and get him to try new foods?

My dd is 6 and is a fussy eater. We've got her to decide on 2 foods that we promise never to give her and the rest she has to have a good try. I've added mashed potatoes as well, but that's because they make her gag and I think its cruel.

I do however let her go to bed hungry and she's only ever done it twice.

DS2 was a very fussy eater. TBH most of the advice simply didn't work. He ate what he'd eat and no amount of pushing or trying tactics made any difference.

What I did though was work out what he'd eat from each food group and then offer something from each of them at every meal, so he knew he had to have some carbs, some protein and some of his five a day at each meal or snack time. That helped a bit with his understanding of food.

I also introduced healthier things or variety in absolutely minute amounts and disguised them for ages. So I'd put tiny amounts of onion puree onto a pizza base with the tomato, then add tiny amounts of spinach to the same base. Then once he was used to it, I'd use that sauce to coat pasta etc so he was getting the same things in unfamiliar forms or unfamiliar things hidden in familiar food. If he eats chicken nuggets, you could try fish fingers or pork in breadcrumbs, for example as they taste fairly similar.

Also, to introduce the idea of eating new things, I'd use treats. That's not conventional wisdom and he is now a bit overweight but he was so thin for so long that dieticians suggested it. So he'd get to try different ice creams and get praised for trying new flavours. That way he associated trying new foods with a pleasant experience.

He's still a bit fussy especially when it comes to vegetables, but gradually we're getting variety.

He doesn't have to go to bed hungry, just reoffend him the original meal again. If he is properly hungry he will eat it, otherwise he can't be that desperate

Reoffer

Have you read My a Child Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzalez?

Exactly onesie

Your food list reads like a party food shopping list - i can see why you need to tackle the issue. How did you get into feeding him an unhealthy processed diet? Sorry i know that sounds rude. I wonder if you could get DS to choose a meal to cook with you. So initially home made pizza, or home made nuggets etc and moving into home made cottage pie or what ever he would like to make. Reoffer the same meal later.

I think DD2 would have gone to bed hungry with out a quarm.

If she isn't going to eat something she isn't going to.

The only thing that makes any difference is age, very very slowly, she's 12 other things sneak on to the menu.

Today she said that lettuce in her chicken burger was ok (school, no way at home)

Your diet sound very similar to my son. I do all his meals from scratch- roast pork,roast chicken, roast/jacket potatoes,Yorkshire pudding, sausages and meatballs, rice, noodles, homemade pizza with own sauce made from puréed vegetables, ham/ sandwiches, spagetthi (he took years but he can now eat this with tomato sauce, before it was with plain cheese), apples (the only fruit he will eat daily) raisons, innocent smoothies, fresh fish (we started with battered shop bought fish, fish fingers then moved to plain home cooked fish).any form of pudding and crisp. The only vegetables he will eat is sweet corn but we are working on it. I always offer 2 types of vegetables at dinner (sweet corn being one of them) so he can choose but he tend to go for sweet corn which is fine as I don't want to create a drama over vegetables. He did had a bite of a banana and an orange over Christmas which is an improvement to us. It does take time . I had to work around his 'limited' diet for years and keep offering different ways of cooking. Like you, I started of with the process stuff and gradually made my own with no batter and gradually adding some sauce. It's a long process but he's becoming more adventurous. I do have his friends over for tea or lunch so they enjoy food. We do a lot of baking and he enjoys helping and licking the spoon.

OP, it's a very complex issue. Lots of people think if you just reoffer the same food that sorts it out, or if and when a child is hungry, they will eat. Some of us have a very different experience of trying to feed a fussy child. The cause of the fussiness is pretty central. If a child has just been offered processed food and got a taste for it, yes perhaps they'll respond to a bit of tough love. But if the fussiness stems from chronic stomach problems, reflux, feeding problems etc then it can be a whole lot more complicated. Ianleeder's very gentle introduction of new stuff is what worked for us too. It is a very slow process, but it works if you just keep at it.

DS now eats foods we never thought he'd eat and the range is extending all the time.

Is that My Child Won't Eat book any good for advice/help for a 6 year old? We have issues caused by reflux...and trying to get her to eat anything other than her limited (but reasonably balanced) diet is a nightmare. She just won't try anything new, and it's starting to cause issues when invited out for tea etc....

Its been very difficult from the day we stopped breastfeeding (because I wanted him to try eating solid foods) and I was furious with his Dad for feeding him crisps and all sorts of processed crap including visiting McDonalds... he is 6 now and I mostly try to get him to eat a decent meal because otherwise his behaviour and school life suffers greatly. When we are on holiday etc though I feel I can be much stricter and try offering new foods and he seems at those times capable of surviving on pure air.

At the weekend he ate simple bland pasta and chicken. I was impressed, and hope we can repeat that experience.

He will shortly be going for assessment to see if he has any specific SN. However, I am looking for some refreshing advice! Sometimes when he is in the mood he will eat salmon which I am pleased with. Tonight I tried to get him to eat tomato soup, ravioli pasta and cauliflower but he has left it all and is going to bed without eating.

Personally I love my food and lay out great feasts at dinner trying to get him to taste and share bits of my meal but he doesn't take the bait.