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Insomniac 8 yo won't go to sleep or wake up at the right times

16 replies

hardtostayfocused · 14/01/2014 11:40

I'm feeling ground down by 8 yo DD's maddening sleep patterns. She rarely goes to sleep before 10.30 at night; she's almost invariably still awake when DH and I look in before we turn in.

She doesn't and never has had a TV or screens in her room and I don't allow screen-time after 7pm on school nights. She just reads (or plays) but mainly reads, and reads, and reads. Occasionally when she was a bit younger I would turn her light out and go back later to find her reading the dark (though I think I've put the kibosh on that).

I wouldn't care, but she is just awful in the mornings; lying in bed like a log at 8am or much later groaning and snarling "Go away! Get out of my room!" (she is not this rude the rest of the time btw). I've never known her wake up naturally much before 8am - not even on Xmas morning. In fact the only time she does is when staying with my friend who has 2 children with body clocks arranged to start their day - and everyone else's - at 6am.

We have such a stressful time getting to school with her almost always arriving just a few minutes later than the required and desired 8.50. I'm having to hide from the snarky looks of the family worker who sits in the office writing down the (post 9am) arrival times of repeat offenders.

I daresay we've messed up on the bedtime routine somewhere, but she was always a very wakeful evening and night-time baby and an incredibly alert toddler who wouldn't settle until 8 or 8.30 or later, with or without enormous quantities of reading, calm attention, singing etc.

Arrgh - she's like this at 8? What's she going to be like at 13??

Anyone out there got any tips? Or can you at least share my pain?

OP posts:
purpleroses · 14/01/2014 11:53

My DD (10) is quite similar. Has been known just to growl at me in the mornings Confused
I took her to the GP in the end for some help. The GP said there was evidence that having a cold/cool bedroom helped sleep, as did having a warm bath just before bed. She recommended the usual stuff around no stimulus to near bedtime, etc which sounds like you're already doing. And she also said I can give her half a piritin (antihistamine) if I want before bed. They do seem to help.

And yes, I also dread the teenage years....

hardtostayfocused · 14/01/2014 12:31

I often wish I could get a sedative but don't think GPs would play ball! Might give the bath / piriton combo a go. Her bedroom is quite cool already.

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Procrastreation · 14/01/2014 12:35

My DD is like this. Well, she's nine now - but has always been like this.

I have no clue what to do. She is also perfectly able to lie in a dark quiet room for an hour awake... then start reading by the light coming in from a crack in her door!

hardtostayfocused · 14/01/2014 13:04

Yes Procrastreation, mine just lies awake for an hour or more. She's not scared or unhappy, she's just awake... thinking I guess? Sometimes getting up to go the loo or get a drink...

Have to admit, I've been prone to insomnia, on and off for much of my life, but it didn't start until my teens.

Can you get your DD up in the mornings?

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Procrastreation · 14/01/2014 14:16

No - and in the holidays she was lying in until noon on some days!

I have memories of myself a similar age looking out of my window as people returned home from the local pubs - so it probably does run in families. It also kick started me into a precocious reading habit - which DD also shares!

LastingLight · 14/01/2014 15:17

My dd (11) recently developed sleep problems. Chamomile tea helps and you can also try melatonin supplements.

hardtostayfocused · 14/01/2014 17:53

Thanks LastingLight. Can you buy melatonin in pharmacies? I bet DD would turn her nose up at chamomile but it's worth a go.

Ha Procrastreation, we're with you on the reading. Indeed I can remember quickly snapping off my reading light when I heard my mum coming upstairs, and also often being awake when my parents went to bed and turned out the landing light. But I don't remember being such a massive pita in the morning - I don't think I started being late for school until I was a sixth former...

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SharpLily · 14/01/2014 17:59

Are you my mother, writing this 30 years ago? Can't give you any solutions I'm afraid because it's been a problem my whole life, to the point where I've often dreaded going to bed at night, knowing I have yet another night of tossing and turning ahead of me. Very few sedatives have worked at all and even when I find one that does, I avoid it because I hate the idea that I'll be tied to it for the rest of my life.

Sorry, I realise this isn't helping at all but your daughter has my full sympathy and I think you're right to be trying to solve the problem early on, before it becomes ingrained as it has with me. I'd love to hear if anyone else has solved this one.

LastingLight · 14/01/2014 18:22

You can buy melatonin at the pharmacy here in South Africa, you would have to ask.

stargirl1701 · 14/01/2014 18:28

Exercise, specifically swimming? Real swimming lengths not playing in the pool. 30 lengths at 7pm every evening would work.

Orangeanddemons · 14/01/2014 18:35

My dd is like this.

In the holidays she was getting later and later going to bed and later and later getting up. She was still banging round past midnight one night.

In her ideal world she'd fall asleep about 9:30 and wake at 8:30.

I agree that dragging them out of bed in the morning is like disturbing a nest of poisonous snakes

tallulah · 14/01/2014 19:07

My DD is almost 7 and is exactly the same. I drag her out of bed in the morning with her shouting at me "go away! I'm tired" yet she's still banging about at 10.30 pm (having been up there since 7.30 ish)

Onesiegoddess · 14/01/2014 21:33

Magnesium? Banana? Warm milk? Long bubbly bath? Lots of excersise during the day? No caffeine/chocolate after 12?

Alternatively I once read that it's best to keep someone awake all night and then put to bed at new bedtime the next day (7.30pm?). Suppose to change their body clock or something.

hardtostayfocused · 14/01/2014 22:21

10.15 and she's asleep! Hasn't been this early for weeks!

Well, today we walked to school and home again (so at least 2 miles for her) and turned the telly off at 6pm with the incentive of a new book she wanted to read, and I made her turn her light off at 8.45 and hid the new book. I don't know how long she's been asleep but she looked totally knackered earlier.

Hmm, think I'd better try and up the exercise-ante on a daily basis...

Interesting how all the posters on here have had girls. .

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TheRaniOfYawn · 14/01/2014 22:36

DD is a bit like this although is usually asleep by 10. I had enough this morning (after leaving for school 5 minutes after registration having dressed her myself). In her case ib think it partly down to routine. So from this afternoon I have temporarily banned screen time, refused snacks outside of official snack times, put her to bed a bit earlier than usual and lay down to sleep with her from 8pm onwards. She was asleep at 8.45 which is a huge improvement. I will also be waking her up at 7am including weekends :-(

QueenFuri · 15/01/2014 07:44

My 7 yo DS is like this he is often awake when I go too bed at 9.30/10. I've tried everything no screen time , lights out, no books. He has a warm lavender bath most nights but nope nothing works. He is currently in the corner growling at me he's tired, Doesn't matter how early he gets up he still won't sleep! Its getting ridiculous now and a pita as I've got another one that won't stay asleep!

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