My six year old son gets angry and demands to go home to his real mum.

[fatcatsmaw]

My youngest son is 95% loving, intelligent and creative, 5% screaming ball of rage!
When I tell him that his high pitched incoherent yelling about whatever injustice has tipped him over the edge is too loud and he has to calm down and talk about it he runs away shouting "I want my real mum" or "I want to go home".
I am his real mum and this hurts every time.
I have a daughter 15 and a son 11 who get upset by these outbursts too.
At times I wish the mystery mother would turn up and claim him.

Can you try to talk him through it? "What does your home look like?", "What does it feel like?", "What would your real mum do now do you think?" I can only suggest trying to get into why he says these thinks and what they represent to him, but recognise that once he said it once and got a reaction, he may now just be saying it to annoy you.

He does always end these outbursts with hugs, I think I hold on to it a bit and don't like him much for it. I think that's a good idea asking about what his real mum would do, I will try that. He just seems to be in utter despair when he says these things and all I am doing is trying to help him be calm.

I would ignore the actual comments and focus on managing the behaviour overall. Kids are good at saying the things they know will get a reaction.

My son was six when he declared that I could not be his real mother and he packed his little suitcase and walked off up the road. I rang another Mum a few doors up and she invited him in for a drink and cake and to play with her daughter. He came back an hour later...

I think in their little minds they do think there is some injustice somewhere and that Mum's who really loved them would let them do what they wanted!!! Yeah Right!

Telling someone who is yelling to calm down never actually calms them down does it?

Kitticat, I think I will buy him a suitcase!
But seriously, I can see that I need to rethink my strategy regarding the screaming. Thank you

When I was 3 yo, I used to do the same. Say to my mum. I'm going to find my real mum packed my suitcase and a doll and walked to the bus stop on our road...(with my dad following behind). My mum had no idea why I would say it, but I have 2 cousins who are adopted and probably got the idea from there.

When he is yelling, talk in a soft quiet voice to him. Acknowledge he is upset and then try and move his attention on

Dad does joke that we took in eldest after monkeys abandoned her in the local woods...
You are right though, I probably don't acknowledge he is upset because I just can't stand that level of noise .I don't like shouting so I maybe focus more on quietening him than anything else.