Encouraging two year old to try new foods - ideas please!

[DigestivesAndPhiladelphia]

I am worried that my 2 (almost 3 year old) DD completely refuses to try anything new & has a diet that doesn't seem balanced.

The foods she will eat are:

Cheese sandwiches
Yogurts
Sausages
Sauages rolls
Smiley potato faces
Macdonalds chicken nuggets
Pizza
Toast
Hummus
Porridge
Weetabix
Plain pasta
Plain rice
Pasta with smoked salmon, leeks, red onion and cream (this is only actual 'meal' that she will eat)

Most fruits, fresh or dried.

She will drink diluted fruit juice or milkshakes.

Any kind of chocolate or cake - she doesn't have this very often though.

If she tried new things but didn't like them then I would be more hopeful. She just looks at the food, no matter what it is or how nicely presented it is and says "No thank you" & pushes it away. I keep offering different things but it turns into a tantrum and then she eats nothing at all. I give her a multi-vitiman and Omega 3 everyday but an worried that she doesn't have enough iron in her diet.

We have other DC who have had fussy phases but not like DD. She is just so stubborn!

I am thinking of building her a meal plan around the foods she does already eat, just to avoid the drama at mealtimes & or ensure she does eat something. I'm not sure if this will just make the problem worse though

I have a very fussy eight-year old and, after years of cajoling/chastising/despairing, I have started following the advice in this book. As the book suggests, I now show no emotion over whether DS eats something or not - I simply continue to provide him with a choice of healthy foods and let him choose to eat it or not. We have also been doing a lot of fun stuff with food - making pizza faces, making homemade lemonade, growing our own veg at home, etc. I have only been doing this for just over a week and so far, to my astonishment, he has tried kale, clementines, green pepper and mushrooms. And he didn't eat any fruit/veg except pineapple before this.

So, the bottom line is - don't let your DD know that you care about her not eating your food, or it will turn into a food battle. And then only she can win.

ToffeeWhirl - I have just ordered the book - the reviews are brilliant! Thank you. Fingers crossed.

I have just tried our my 'emotionless' face at lunch. DD managed a few pieces of macaroni, a bread roll, half an apple and some raisins, so it was moderately successful

I hope it works for you, Digestives. I think it takes time, so don't expect miracles straight away (especially as age two is when children often get very suspicious of new food). I have just served roast chicken with three separate vegetables for lunch and I don't think my DC touched a single vegetable between them. However, the book says that it sometimes takes something like 20 exposures to a vegetable on their plate before they will venture to taste it, so I am not too disappointed. We had a relaxed, happy mealtime, though, and that's the main thing for me. And DS2 very much enjoyed helping me to prepare some purple kale, even though he wouldn't eat it.

I am finding it to be quite liberating doing the 'emotionless' face. I always thought I was failing if I didn't get the DC to eat their fruit and veg, but I have changed my mindset about that now and think that the most I can do is give them healthy food and ensure mealtimes are relaxed - hopefully, the rest will follow.

Good luck!

age two is when children often get very suspicious of new food

There's a reason for this. It's a self defence mechanism which stops children from eating things that are dangerous. This is why so many food issues start at this age. Toddlers are programmed only to eat what is familiar to keep them safe.

Offering food without emotion won't work as well with a two year old as with an eight year old. It just stops parents getting into battles about food and makes it less likely that children will reduce the range they will eat even further.

OP, your DD eats quite a varied diet compared to a lot of other toddlers so, apart from making sure you put no pressure on her and making mealtimes relaxed, sociable occasions during which you model good habits, you don't need to do much apart from wait.

As she gets older she'll naturally get more adventurous as long as food hasn't become a battleground.

Planning meals that you know she will eat sounds like a good idea but allow her to choose those things from amongst other, less familiar foods so she is used to seeing and smelling them and can try them if she chooses.

Goldmandra - Toddlers being programmed to eat familiar food is a really good thing for me to keep in my mind, as it helps me to feel sympathetic to DD rather than annoyed when she is pushing everything away. She is a very cautious child in general who is scared of quite a few strange things - maybe her general cautiousness is linked to her love for beige food.

We've started involving our 2 1/2 year old in cooking & although he's not a fussy eater, he eats whatever he's made with gusto.

Offer her the same meal you and the rest of the family eat. Don't offer alternatives. Don't harangue her into eating. Don't mention the food. . Do chat about the day and other nice things. If she fails to eat yet is hungry later, offer her the original dish with zero fuss.

It really isn't worth making a meal plan around the foods she will eat. I think you are reinforcing her bad eating habits.

The food game is partly about control from her perspective.

My two year olds eat anything and everything. Their dream food would be beige processed food but I don't offer it in my house as I cook from scratch.

OP-I feel your pain, my DD age 2.2 sounds v similar & eats a similar limited range of foods (except pizza, potato & hummus on your list) she never has been a great eater since weaning & it's always felt like an uphill battle to feed her a healthy diet & proper meals as you say. Fortunately she loves most fruits so I hope she gets good stuff she needs from these. I also worry about her iron intake. I've recently tried to make my peace with it & really tried the approaches described above which takes the stress out if not actually increasing her range. We've also put in a big effort to eat all together as much as possible & this definitely helps, so for example tonight I made chilli. & she just ate the rice, but that's ok. I even resort to blatant bribery but with limited effect! Does your DD go to nursery/ childminder- is it any different there ? My DD will eat carrots there but not at home! So I'm sorry not to offer any advice but just to say your not the only one!!

Maybe a very obvious & silly question, but do you eat with your DC? DS2 (2.9) is a very good eater, but not keen on many fruits & veg (but will eat them as smoothie, puree, soup, sauces etc).He normally eats with DS1 & I eat later with DH. But DH is currently not working & so we all eat together & DS2 has started eating baked beans, trying a few veg & also really taken a liking to grapes & apples. I think it helps that I cut my apple up the same as theirs (I prefer it that way ) so he can see it's OK. I'm sure you have already tried this, but if not may be worth a try?

Is it more that she won't eat new foods that worries you, or that her diet is not nutritionally balanced? Because your list seems to cover most food groups to my untrained eye. But if you want her to eat more fruit & veg, try including it in what she'll eat. Eg milkshakes made with just milk & fresh fruit (banana & strawberry work well), a little pureed fruit mixed into weetabix & porridge, beetroot chocolate cake, hm pizza with other veg blended into the tomato sauce etc

dd1 was like this at 2, anything not immediately recognised was lobbed. All you can do is eat with her and keep offering her stuff. Mine at nearly 5 has a much larger selection, I remember the peas and sweetcorn days well.

dd2 is actually better but reacted in a similar way when I offered her a prune this morning 'don't like it' dd1 was like laughing at her ......

tbf the selection you describe doesn't sound that bad to me

We did baby-led weaning with DS, which really helped us with not making mealtimes into a battleground.

I agree that your DD's choices don't seem too bad, relative to her peers.

What we've noticed with DS is he seemed to go off things that he'd previously enjoyed around about 3yo (e.g. bolognese, curry, stir fried chicken noodles). But since around 4yo he's started asking to try different foods - usually things we haven't offered at home (e.g. seeing dumplings being made in Chinatown and repeatedly asking to try them). So we now are trying offering him new things to try by expanding our range of meals at home, and trying to respond when he asks for something specific (bubble and squeak is the most recent - no idea where he's heard of it, and I've had to look up recipes, as I've only eaten it once as a child).

One of DS's things is that he doesn't like stuff all mixed together. So we've respected that by offering plain pasta with sauces alongside. That way he can try the sauce and still have his pasta which he knows and enjoys.

One thing DS seems to enjoy is the little extras - so putting his own parmesan onto his pasta, naan breads and poppadums with indian food, prawn crackers with chinese food. I think it makes it more of a drama/event.

So I would say keep it relaxed. Have family meals where you all have the same things on your plates. Our mantra is we'd like you to try everything on your plate, and if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. Now, it's perfectly normal for him to tell us he doesn't like curry, and then, when we're all eating and chatting about something else, he's eating it with apparent enjoyment.

The not showing emotion around food is an interesting one, as it's something I've fallen into naturally. Not because DD is a fussy eater - she isn't, or at least she isn't yet - but because I don't want her to see "healthy" foods as a chore to be gotten through before you can have something nice, or sweet food as a reward, or put her under pressure to clear her plate (as I was, and I still find it very hard to stop eating when I'm full, instead of when my plate is empty).

So I serve food, and leave her to it, and when she's had enough I take it away, all without comment. But no matter how many times I ask them not to, DH, DM and MIL all make a big production of it - "ooh, what have you got? That looks delicious! Make sure you eat up all your yummy broccoli, it'll make you big and strong and then you can have some pudding!" - and continuing to try and spoon stuff into her when's she clearly finished. I could understand it more if she was a tiny wee thing, but she's a big strong girl, has been since birth (which is the reason I don't want to make eating an issue) and is hardly in danger of fading away if she doesn't finish a meal.

One thing I've found often works, if she immediately rejects a meal without trying it, which sometimes happens, is to just say "ok" and move it away from her but leave it in reach (from her highchair tray to the dining table, say) and then just carry on eating my own food and chatting (or just potter about if I'm not eating at the same time). Nine times out of ten, once she's realised she's getting no attention, and that nothing else is on offer, I'll look round to find she's pulled it closer to herself and is tucking in happily.

On the odd occasions when that doesn't work, sitting her on my knee and carrying on eating myself without reacting to her tantrum will often see her eating the food from my plate that she won't touch on her own.

I'm fully aware that all this could be luck - I'm firmly of the opinion that most things we achieve with our firstborns are more due to luck than good judgement and that we shouldn't really start offering advice till we've had similar success with second or third children - but thought I'd mention it in case any of it is helpful.

Same here, 2,2 years old, eats most of the foods on your list, except Salomon and humus, but she likes all meats incl lamb. I keep offering her foods she dislikes, vegetables in particular and casserole, rice dishes and she refuses every time, but i just keep offering, one day she will try hopefully. Just accept that she will eat what she wants and one day she will change.

Thanks for all the replies. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one & that people think she eats a few different foods. It does actually look like more of a selection when I see it written down as a list.

Confused - the eating together is a good point. We used to eat as a family most of the time but now I often feed the children at about 4.30 (we have baby twins who can't wait until much later) & then I eat with DH later. I am usually distracted by giving the twins food (thinking about it, I usually have my back to the older two as I am feeding the babies).

It's also since the twins were born that DD has started refusing food. I went into hospital for 10 days, she was eating everything when I left but while I was in there, she started refusing to eat anything apart from chips. Then when we came home, I was so busy that I started giving her whatever she wanted because I couldn't face making food that she would turn down. It seems obvious now that we've got into bad habits but I didn't really link it up before.

I'm going to try and sit down with them again at mealtimes, even if it is just at lunchtime and for weekend meals. With that and the new book, we might have some improvements!

isitme - the twins have been doing a bit of baby led weaning and they are doing really well with it. I might try more and then I will have my hands free to sit with the others!

thebookofRuth - I must admit have been guilty recently of shouting "You will be allowed a doughnut afterwards if you eat just one bite of broccoli" Another bad habit I need to break...

Thank you for all your replies. Thinking about it from different viewpoints has been really helpful.

It sounds like maybe having the twins has shaken her up a bit & she is using food as something she can control. If you are ready to start BLW with your twins, you could try all sitting on the (sheet-covered) floor & having a 'picnic' where everyone can pick at what they like - include her favourite foods & some she's not keen

Also, fwiw, I don't think a bit of bribery does them any harm