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Behaviour/development

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Helping dd stand her ground.

2 replies

muddyprints · 10/01/2014 22:55

Dd2 (3) is quiet and clingy when out. Loud and confident at home and holds her own against dd1 (6).
She goes to play group 3 times a week and tends to play near me but enjoys the toys and runs round a bit and loves craft and singing time so it's worth going.
If she is playing with a toy the more outgoing children used to walk up and take it from her hands and she used to watch it go and cry. I have told her to hold on to the toy and say no I'm playing with it which she has got much better at doing.
Today she was playing with a toy with buttons on her lap sitting by me. A boy came up and started pressing the buttons too, no problem. Then he started pressing them all really hard and fast so dd2 didn't get a turn and moving her hand away if she tried. I told him not to move her hands. Then he tried to pull the toy away and she said no. He started saying I like it I like it and dd2 held on and said no. I told him dd2 was playing with it and he must not take it from her but he ignored me and kept pulling and dd2 kept holding. So he put all his weight on the toy and on dd2s lap at which she point she cried and loosed the toy.
I picked up dd2 and took the toy off the boy and told him he wasn't to take it away until she finished. At this point his mom appeared and asked if he had upset her I explained and she removed him but then dd is upset and she is getting known as the crying one.
Boy is playing happily 1 second later but dd is upset and on my lap.
I'm trying to get her to socialise more but she hates kids in her face. She likes to sit and play jigsaws or take turns on the slide but they just push in front.
How cani help her stand up for herself without making her be rough. Should I just involve the other mom straight away.
Thanks

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
birdsnotbees · 10/01/2014 23:12

Just be firm and factual to the kid trying to nick the toy, and be kind and supportive to your DD. validate her feelings ("yes, that would have upset me if someone did that to me"), but quickly move it on so it doesn't become a big deal.

My DS was like this. It worried me no end. I realised eventually that it was more my problem than his; that there was nothing wrong with him being shy and sensitive. He's 6 now and still sensitive but does really well.

Maybe stop worrying so much what the other mums think of you/your DD? She's not doing anything wrong, she's just being who she is.

muddyprints · 12/01/2014 20:59

Her sister still hangs back a bit at school but makes friends ok so I know dd2 will be ok but she can't handle kids being so in her face and forceful.
Validating her feelings is a great idea thank you.
I do worry what people think about dd2 as I've seen them eye rolling when she cries and asking what's wrong with her now. If left alone or played with nicely she is happy but she doesn't like rough and tumble or being badgered for stuff.

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