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4 MO sleep regression-so tired I don't feel like I know what I'm doing?!

4 replies

Mimitheminx4 · 10/01/2014 15:17

Hi
My second LB is 17 weeks and EBF. My first baby was bottle fed as I was too anaemic to BF and seemed to be fairly textbook with naps, routine, dummy, feeds etc. This time I'm slightly thrown as I have two and I'm not entirely sure how BF works with sleep and routine, as it doesn't seem to be?!
When he was first born he fell asleep everywhere and I used a sling to do day to day stuff because I wanted to have time with my eldest too. We started a loose routine when he was ten weeks old, same as we did with his bro so basically bath at 6, book and then bottle/boob then stayed until he was asleep and put him in his cot. He would stay in his cot until his 10 o clock feed sometimes I could put him back in the cot but he always ended up in bed with us by 1 am.
Since last Saturday however he isn't playing ball. I went out with my friends and he wouldnt take the bottle of EBM so I had to come home. Now he will NOT settle in his cot at all-it would always take at least 3 attempts to get him to stay in there and I would do this with cuddles and boob. I don't believe in CIO as it just makes me anxious and hes only little. The past few nights Ive not been able to put him down in the cot at all, he always wakes himself up to check I'm there, so ive ended up getting in bed with him and reading. Last night I put the tv on as I wanted a break. Me and my boyfriend aren't getting any time together, I'm not getting any break as my baby will only stay asleep in bed with me. I know in time this will pass, and I don't resent my baby at all I just feel abit exasperated. I think he uses me as a dummy(rejects the tommee tipple closer to nature one, any suggestions for booblike pacifiers??) and white noise isnt working like it did for his brother when he went through clingy stages. I try to get him to nap in the day but its impossible with my 2 year old shouting all the time, and I can't leave him unattended to do it. So I usually just put them down at the same time and let the baby sleep on the sofa next to me. I don't go to sleep on the sofa as I do freelance writing and want to be able to fit this in too.
OH wants to put him on the bottle which I've explained would probably work for a night as structure of food different but I really want to continue to BF. My mum said he needs to be in a cot for all sleep like its that easy! We have taken on cosleeping and we didnt mind when we got the evenings together but now its me stuck upstairs on my own and I feel abit despairing! I dont even look forward to sleep as the baby wakes up and fidgets all night! Any suggestions would be great. Please no CIO though x

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rrreow · 10/01/2014 15:27

4mo sleep regression is the pits! It's usually combined with growth spurt, start of teething so it's really difficult. I wouldn't assume that the difference between your two babies is as simple as BF vs FF. Different babies different temperaments. 4mo sleep regression was tough with both of mine (both BF), but very different compared side by side.

Sorry no real tips but just sympathy and know that it gets better!

Booville3 · 10/01/2014 16:41

I am in same position with my 4 month old DS, I think there are exceptions to the rule but generally I do think EBF baby's are clingier & more reliant on mummy for comfort in the early days! All of my research indicates at this stage the only way to encourage them to self sooth is with controlled crying as at this stage you can't slowly withdraw as they can't see you/ sense you're still in the room type thing! I'm just telling myself it's all for such a relatively short time to go with it & will have to find it in me to get tough when I'm really at my wits end, my boobs hit my knees or I'm due to go back to work!!! Wink

Booville3 · 13/01/2014 18:15

Hi thought I would check in to see how you're getting on? Any improvement?? Still the same here I'm afraid my baby definitely seems to the boss in this house at the min!! Hard work isn't it Shock

Mimitheminx4 · 14/01/2014 15:19

Hi
I've managed to get him down okay-touchwood-0the past two nights with the help of some Calpol! It seems that teething is making it too painful to sleep. He still unsettles himself when I put him down but I keep going in, reassuring him by stroking his head but leaving him in the cot (I confess Ive leant over the cot to dip my boob in his mouth) and trying to make him like the dummy! I'm trying to make sure he gets enough sleep in the day too but his 2 yo big brother has other ideas! x

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