Can you help me unmuddle this food mess?

[Southpaws]

Dd is 3.5, and before Christmas she had a really nasty cough. She was eating grapes, had a coughing fit and basically for about 5-10 seconds choked on a grape because she sucked it back while coughing. She managed to shift it herself as I was crossing the room to give her some back slaps, but she was upset and crying afterwards. I soothed her and took the grapes away while she got over the coughing fit.

Fast forward to today and in the last few days she has been saying that she is scared of choking. She is refusing to eat grapes, apples, basically any fruit that isn't mushy, and this morning refused to eat weetabix so it's got a bit worse.

She has eaten everything under the sun up to now and been a great eater, so I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to make it worse, but also I think she may be trying it on with me as she ate weetabix perfectly for DP yesterday morning while I was at work. She has refused grapes at pre-school though, and they have just said that she refused most of her lunch yesterday too.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these toddler 'fears' please as I'm very conscious I don't want to handle it badly!

Am quite newly pregnant and hormonal so this may be exacerbating the worry!!

TIA

I would stop offering her grapes altogether.

Just put other food in front of her and tell her that this is what's on offer. Say that, if she doesn't want to eat it, that's fine but won't she be hungry later?

Don't get into any discussions about choking. I'm sure you've explained about it being rare and that she sorted it out herself by coughing so she is perfectly safe. Offering more reassurance and repeated explanations could reinforce her anxiety. Ask the nursery to take the same approach.

Once she realises that choking is a non-issue and everyone else has forgotten about it already she should be able to move on.

In the meantime it won't do her any harm to feel hungry if she refuses to eat the food you offer.

It is .our body defense mechanism to not eat things we think will harm us. just don't give grapes etc for now and let your dd build up her confidence agaid

Thank you for your advice, that's really helpful. You are right gold I need to stop explaining choking too her, as I think it's focussing her mind on it too much. I have just been trying to rationalise it, but forgetting she is only 3!
I also agree that not eating for a little while won't do her any harm. I am just so used to her wolfing down anything and everything that this has come as a bit of a surprise.

I would tell her you are making everything safe by chopping it up. Show her how you cut something up and explain