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Baby Tantrums and Hyperactivity...

11 replies

midlandsminx · 09/01/2014 21:17

First off, would like to say that I'm new to Mumsnet so please forgive me if this post drags on a bit, I'm just really looking for some reassurance/empathy before I go out of my mind.

I am very worried about my 16 week old baby girls behaviour. I'm a first time mum so as you can imagine pretty much most things concern me as I don't know any better and don't really have a comparison, but I can't help but think there may be something not quite right with my little munch.

The first problem, and I know this sounds ridiculous, but tantrums/rage. I didn't think that babies as young as mine could have them or experience rage, but I'm pretty certain this is what she is doing. Basically, over the past few weeks, there have been 5 instances of her going bananas. 4 of them because we went to someone's house and she apparently objected, and 1 tonight, when I tried putting her down to sleep. It's not her usual fussy/upset cry. It's a whole new level of beserk. I was downstairs with the monitor tonight, and her dummy had fallen out and I heard her start to cry intensely. By the time I had gone from the lounge and up the stairs, it had escalated in the space of a minute to almighty high pitched grating screams, and she was absolutely inconsolable for a good while. Ended up having to rock her to sleep (which is something we've never done and she has usually a very good bed time routine). The times she did it at my Mothers house and my Mother in laws house, she would basically, keep screaming and screaming until we left. My mother commented the last time that she could hear temper in her screaming, and look quite alarmed. They tend to come on without much warning either. We had been at my mothers the last time for about an hour, she fussed a little to start but wasnt too bad. She was laying on her playmat and seemed content, then literally, in a split second and without any buildup, was clenching her fists and screaming and going purple. Is this normal behaviour? Because I'm starting to feel upset about it, and seeing as she's done it every time we've gone to someone's house recently I'm too embarrassed to take her anywhere incase she does it again.

The second problem, is that since birth, she has been super duper alert and active/hyper. She absolutely, and categorically fights sleep during the day with every ounce of her being. She could be awake for ages, rubbing her face, yawning, red eyes. And every attempt at trying to get her to sleep is futile. I've even tried doing it after just being awake an hour so she doesnt get overtired, but that doesnt seem to work. And waiting until shes tired doesnt work because she seems to get overtired really easily. I feel like i've spent the first 16 weeks of her life spending all day trying to get her to nap, every day. And consequently, when she gets overtired she's a nightmare as she inevitably gets upset. I don't really know what I'm doing wrong but any advice would be welcome on the nap front.

The last thing, since about 10 weeks old, she discovered she could squeal, she only really cooed and made cute baby noises for 3 weeks or so and since she has discovered this squealing, basically, she does it every single minute of every day that she is awake. There are no other noises she makes other than screaming/squealing, and also this throaty kind of straining loud noise. Don't really know how to describe it but, I think I'm losing my mind. Now as I said in the above paragraph, she doesn't nap, hardly at all, so I have hour after hour of squealing at the top of her lungs until she goes to bed. I love her to death she's such a little cutie, but I'm ashamed to admit that I can't stand to be around her at the minute as the noise is deafening and unrelenting.

Basically, the above issues kind of make me think she's not quite right, as none of my friends babies have behaved like her and I don't really have anyone else to talk to about it. When I mention it to my husband he just kind of glazes over, and my mother just says cryptically something about my husbands ADHD and maybe it's something she's inherited but doesnt really go into too much to reassure me. Any advice would be most welcome as I seem to spend all day every day worrying about it and I'm starting to feel a bit lost.

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Kiwiinkits · 09/01/2014 21:24

I don't have any practical help but I would definitely see a paediatrician about this. It isn't normal at all.

Pinkandwhite · 09/01/2014 21:29

Hello,

Sorry to hear you're experiencing so much worry over your Lo. I suspect her behaviour is totally normal but I think it would be worth you getting some professional advice from a health visitor/doctor just to set your mind at rest and to give you some other suggestions for how to cope. Is there anyone like that who you know and trust? Sorry I can't be more helpful, I'm sure your baby's behaviour is normal and hopefully some other mums will come along shortly to share similar experiences and how they dealt with it.

midlandsminx · 09/01/2014 21:29

I wouldn't even know the first thing about doing that. The GP's round here are somewhat... half soaked. Since she was about 2 weeks old i've been convinced that she has silent reflux also and trying to get that investigated has been a no go. GP's tend to just say 'Babies cry' and don't really show any other concern because she's not losing weight.

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islingtongirl · 09/01/2014 22:02

Hi - I wanted to add some support - my DD has been a lot like this, I posted around xmas about how much it was getting me down. We went round to my husbands colleagues house and she screamed so much she was sick. Their 4 month old sat on their knees smiling at everyone and then fell asleep! I felt awful and cried a lot. But...and I dont want to tempt fate here, but the past few days she has been a lot better. She is 20 weeks in a few days - I do think a lot is frustration, they want to do more and they cant, couple with growth spurts etc, plus like you I think a bit of reflux doesnt help things - I think DD gets upset, reflux plays up, more upset etc, a vicious cycle. I do hope it gets better for you - by all means see hv/gp if you think something further is wrong though. Does getting out for a walk in the pram help? My dd is an awful napper too, only way for me is going for a long walk...Anyway I feel your pain! I keep repeating 'this shall pass'!!

Pinkandwhite · 09/01/2014 22:05

Oh that's SO crap, sorry the doctors have let you down. What about health visitors? Is there a sure start children's centre near you? I'm sure you'd get some good advice there. I'm racking my brain for other suggestions. Obviously there are private maternity 'experts' out there but they're not cheap.

fanjobiscuits · 09/01/2014 22:09

Mine was v similar - no napping and screaming in particular. Turned out to be reflux so poor babybiscuits had been really uncomfy and just couldn't sleep unless exhausted, and screaming from pain. Fixed that and all was well. Lots of reflux support forums around.

fanjobiscuits · 09/01/2014 22:15

Also had the grunting and hyper alertness. Remember hours of trying to get bb to nap, convinced we were doing something wrong. Got really frustrated but instinct said something wasn't right and really glad we followed our gut on that.

midlandsminx · 09/01/2014 22:46

Thank you all for your responses so far, starting to feel a little less neurotic lol I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with this :)

islingtongirl - Fingers crossed then it's just a 'phase' for her and she will get better with time, I'm sure it's also partly due to the fact that I'm a SAHM and don't drive, we dont tend to go out much with her so I'm sure that doesnt help with the performances. She's actually surprisingly calm in the pram. Can take her shopping etc and and she'll be fine. Doesnt sleep much in it though but at least doesn't get upset. She tends to save the tantrums for when she's at someone's house lol

Pinkandwhite - Health visitors arent particularly great. I called them a few times and did the whole checklist of symptoms thing over the phone and did the tried and tested, 'Maybe she has colic'. She doesn't have colic lol Pretty sure I'd be in for a far worse time with the crying if she did.

fanjobiscuits - I'm so glad you replied, how did you get your bubbas reflux diagnosed? Been dealing with this for 16 weeks so far and would really like to address it. I don't want to get my hopes up too much but to think if I got it treated and it solved just one or two of the problems I would be able to breathe a bit easier.

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KittyWells · 10/01/2014 11:26

Hi

Just to reassure you my 7mo has also always fought sleep and I wasted much of her early months trying to get her to nap. She still will only sleep on me, wrapped up in a sling. I just go with it and enjoy the cuddles now.

She also does the squawking screeching thing. This seems to be normal, lots of my friends babies also enjoy using their voices in this way. She also growls like a bear, a lot.

Pretty much all babies have unexplicable screaming fits from time to time, I know mine has! Life is tough and bewildering when you've just been born, and the list of reasons why babies cry is never ending. Babies who just gurgle and coo and rarely cry are definitely rarities IME.

Saying that, my DD has several food allergies which I only discovered upon weaning and which were obviously contributing to her rubbish sleep and crying fits. If you're bf there might be a link between your diet and her unsettled behaviour. I know you said your HV is rubbish but sometimes you can see a different one if they are part of a team. They will have seen thousands of babies before and will hopefully be able to reassure you if your baby's behaviour is normal or not.

rrreow · 10/01/2014 15:38

My DS2 does a weird zombie noise, started around 4 months and he still does it (7mo). It's not a distressed sound, just a sound he makes.

I'm so sorry you've been fobbed off by your GP. I don't believe 'baby's just cry'. There might not be an obvious easily detectable reason, but they cry for a reason.

Have you tried putting her on her front to sleep? DS2 didn't want to sleep especially during the day, and if we finally got him off to sleep (he wouldn't feed to sleep, little bugger) he'd wake up 10 minutes later. From about 2 weeks I decided to ignore the advice and put him on his front for sleeps, and he actually would drop off much quicker and stay asleep for a semi-decent amount of time. YMMV but might be worth a try.

midlandsminx · 10/01/2014 15:55

Putting her on her front is a definite no go. She absolutely detests being on her stomach. Has done since 4 weeks old when she was fitted with a pavlik harness, it's since been removed but the tummy time loathing has remained. She's a fair bit behind in that regard.

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