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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do you explain to your (nearly) two year old that he's going to be a big brother?

21 replies

mazzystar · 26/07/2006 11:24

12 weeks pg with baby number 2. DS will be 2.4 when the little one arrives.

Any suggestions? What did you do?

And how did they react?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Gingeme · 26/07/2006 11:27

Well mazzystar Im afraid I have no idea. Im 26 weeks preg with ds number 4 and ds number 3 is 27 months old and hasnt taken a blind bit of notice of my growing bump. Except that is when it gets in the way of our cuddles. Please can I share this thread with you to see what people suggest?

0andx · 26/07/2006 11:28

I don't think he'll understand at this age. A friend of mine bought her ds a doll so that he was used to having a 'baby'. She only had a 17 month gap & he coped brilliantly.

nailpolish · 26/07/2006 11:29

my dd was 2 when dd2 was born

she used to tell everyone mummy had a baby in her tummy, but not much else

until the day

she was so excited, you would not believe it, she brought a toy rabbit to the hospital and jumped about like a maniac and wanted to kiss the baby all the time

therefore, i wouldnt expect too much, mazzy, until the actual time arrives for ds to see a real-life baby!

congrats on pg btw

Tommy · 26/07/2006 11:30

once my bump was there with DS2, I used to talk to it with DS1 and he used to kiss the bump and talk about the baby. Also bought him the doll and pushchair. DS1 was only 18m when his brother arrived though

PiccadillyCircus · 26/07/2006 11:30

DS was 22 months when DD was born. I pointed out to him the presence of babies and I think I mentioned there was a baby in my tummy, but it all went over his head.

Friends of his have become big brothers/sisters slightly later ie about 2.4 or so. They seemed to grasp around 6 months pregnant that there was a baby in there (probably helped by all the new brothers and sisters that kept being born )

nailpolish · 26/07/2006 11:31

and dont worry about jealousy or any of that, its most unlikely

let ds go to some mw appts and listen to the baby, see pictures etc, but as i said dont expect too much

Ellbell · 26/07/2006 11:33

Thought I'd explained it all really well to my dd1, when I was pg with dd2 (she was 22 months when dd2 was born)... Until a friend asked her what mummy had in her tummy. She took one look at my enormous bump and suggested 'Cake?'.

Do your best, but your ds may not realise the full implications till the baby arrives!

cazzybabs · 26/07/2006 11:36

We read lots of books - there is a house inside mummy, za za baby brother and another one that hasd no words. There are loads on amazon.

Gingeme · 26/07/2006 11:42

LOL Ellbell. My ds said a similar thing but answered 'dinner'.

FoghornLeghorn · 26/07/2006 11:46

I am currently 23 weeks pregnant with #2, DD will be 2.4 when the baby arrives.
We told her from the off that there was going to be a new baby but i don't think she really understands. If you ask her now she will tell if she wants a brother or sister (this changes on a daily basis) and what she wants the name to be, she also kisses my tummy in the mornings and blows raspberrys on it to make the baby laugh.
We have arranged for DD to go to her Gran's when we go into hospital to have this one, he Gran will spoil her rotten and we know she wont feel left out at all, we will also be buying her a little something from the new baby.
I don't doubt there will be times when DD will be jealous when the new baby is actually here but I think that is pretty much par for the course and to be expected.
Good Luck btw

FoghornLeghorn · 26/07/2006 11:48

Oh yeah, and DD now has this really embarrassing thing whereby she points to her nan/gran and anyone with a noticable tummy and asks them if they've got a baby in there too

curtaintwitcher · 26/07/2006 11:48

ds was 2.2yrs when dd arrived. I bought him the book there is a house inside my mummy and read it everynight for the last couple of months. Also everytime we saw a baby I said oh thats like the one in mummys tummy etc. Also having a doppler helped as he looked for the baby to check it. He has been great with dd...now I have the problem of explaining to dd she is going to be a sister as she will have just turned 1...pmsl

laundrylover · 26/07/2006 11:57

Hi Mazzystar,
My DD1 was 2.1 when DD2 arrived and we read the books, bought the pushchair etc etc. She is fine with the baby and 'loves' her lots (how many times do you think you'll be saying "gently"!?).
However just a word of caution - it may well coincide with the terrible twos so hold on to your hats and then join our Tantrum thread for your sanity!!
Good luck.

Original poster

mazzystar · 26/07/2006 14:03

Thanks everyone

I have to say I am a bit freaked out by the idea of a book called there is a house inside mummy!

DS is very keen on little babies, he always makes a beeline for them at playgroup and tries to tickle their feet. He has a soft dolly "baby" who he is very loving towards, feeds and puts to bed etc. Not quite sure whether he'll feel the same about sharing his house with one though.

Its nice to know no-ones had to deal with furious jealousy. That's what I am most worried about. Any other tips for preparing him?

OP posts:

mummyhill · 26/07/2006 14:29

We used ther's a house inside my mummy too it is a lovely book. There was also a book called the new baby all about the bunn family.

We took DD to the hsopital with us at the 20 weeks scan and she was facinated by the baby waving to her. No one else could see the screen cause she got right up close and started waving back and shouting hello.

The baby bought her a prezzie and we got her to chose a prezzie to welcome the new baby with.

At first she was disapointed that the baby didn't do anything but we are starting to get a bit of jealousy now that he can sit up and reach her toys!!!!

liquidclocks · 26/07/2006 14:40

Mazzystar - I've been reading that book to DS (21 months) a lot, it's just lovely and really sweet - it also explains about some of the things mummy does when she's pg like eat weird things and sleep lots!

DS2 is due in september and since I found out I was pg I've been trying to think 'what will doing this be like with a newborn?'. So now I've changed some things like no boistrousness in the bed at the weekend lie-in, he sits in his cot or next to me when he has a story rather than on my knee, I make him wait for things like juice, milk etc so he learns he doesn't get everything immediately and he spends some time playing by himself instead of having my attention all the time.

Of course I won't know if any of this helps until baby arrives but it makes sense in my head!

Mandymoo · 27/07/2006 11:07

We didnt make a grand announcement to DD that she was going to have a baby brother, we just started referring to baby whilst she was around and then she started asking questions etc etc. It kind of just evolved that she always knew about the baby. She was 3.4 when he was born so a bit older than your lo. HTH

LemonTart · 27/07/2006 11:15

The very fact that you are concerned about making it easy on DS shows that it is most likely going to be fine
All the normal stuff like giving him "family ownership" of the baby rather than viewing it as "mummy?s new toy" helps, refer to it as his new baby brother or sister and how he will be the only brother in the whole world that this baby will have and that makes him very very special and the baby very lucky etc all helps. I spent ages choosing a present for DD1 from the baby - anew doll and clothes. However, she didn}t want to know as she was so excited by the real baby!!
Once the baby arrives, make sure you have grown up boys time when the baby sleeps, let him help you change and bath the baby only if he wants to - no chores etc
I got my DD1 to join a gym club and once a week we would have our trip out while Grandpa got the baby. We would go out for an hours session and have tea and cake afterwards. This fixed "date" meant that if my good intentions to include DD1 and find daily big girl?s time didn?t happen somedays as life gets in the way, we would at least have that special time.
HTH

Enid · 27/07/2006 11:17

I did nothing really

they asked questions, I bought a couple of story books

but my attitude was - the baby aint going back!! so they will have to learn to love it/live with it.

pucca · 27/07/2006 11:25

My dd will be 2.6YO when baby born, i have spoken to her lots about it all, she knows she will be a big sister (like peppa pig lol) and we know the baby is a boy and calls him baby George! she has seen the 3D DVD and scan pics and have talked to her about how she can bath him, help dress him etc.

She knows she will go to her nan and grandad's when baby is born and she will see mummy in hospital and we let her pick a present for "baby George", and we have bought dd a little present to give her on the day.

I think the main thing is to keep LO's involved, i know with my dd i have made it out that the baby is for her type thing.

laundrylover · 27/07/2006 12:16

a friend of mine gave me some invaluable advice which was to be honest about the fact that the baby may cry lots and be pretty boring for ages!! her DD asked if her little brother could go back inside after the first few weeks!!
we have been lucky as DD2 is soooo laidback and not a crier unlike her older sis was!
be careful with the 'big girl/boy' refs as after a month or so DD1 protested that she wasn't a big girl at all and we had to assure her that she could still be our baby - awww!
bfing hence lack of capitals!

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