I would welcome your advice...
I have a 13 month old daughter, who still wakes at night. A lot. On a good night, 4 to 5 times, on a bad night (we get these far more often) can be up all night or every 10 mins.
She has been falling asleep by herself, without me in the room, since about 4 months old - her own idea, never trained her to do so.
At about 5 months, I moved her to her own room, thinking that maybe me and my partner are noisy sleepers. Before then, she was in our bed, but she still would wake many times at night.
After getting up and into her room at night for about 6 months, we moved her cot back to our bedroom, against our bed. No improvement. Sh wakes and screams even when she is in our bed. This is when all the advice I am given becomes useless, as all I hear is 1)she will sleep through if she falls asleep by herself and 2)she will sleep through if you sleep with her. Nothing works.
She wakes up crying, sits up, all I do is silently put her back down, give a dummy (although she often falls asleep without one, so isn't dependent on it) and she falls back to sleep- for 10 mins, for an hour, it depends on the night. No talking, no light on, just put her back on the back/side.
Sometimes I am so exhausted, that I cannot move- I hear her crying, but somehow can't "wake" my body. Once I left her to cry for about an hour, and she just kept screaming louder and louder, looking at me, lifeless, in my bed.
She has a routine every day, we have walks with the pushchair, regular meals that she likes, bath etc at night... sometimes we would have a more exciting day, but it doesn't make her sleep any better.
She eats normally, has meat, veg, fruit and milk throughout the day, her poos are frequent and normal looking, normal, healthy skin...
She usually has one nap 1-2 hours, but even then wakes frequently and sometimes carries on sleeping in my arms.
Yet another thing is that she cries a lot of the time. The are moments that she is fascinated by something and plays with it, but most of the time, she whinges- when I play with her, carry her etc. I can't leave the room, but even when I am with her and paying her attention, she just cries and cries... the only time she doesn't cry is in the car, and for abut an hour in the pushchair. Me and my partner don't argue etc, so don't think it is stress or anything...
She seems to be developing well, everything in line with "the books" and so on... she is walking around, babbling, copying me etc.
I am absolutely exhausted, as for more than a year I haven't slept more than approx 2 hours a day in pieces. During the day, I can't do anything but look after her as she cries and cries... She is teething at the moment and has been for over 7 months, but even after giving Nurofen at night she still wakes.
The house is a mess, I wash my hair maybe once a month if I'm lucky as by the time my partner gets home, I am exhausted (and still have to do some housework).
Him getting up at night is not an option, as he works 6 days a week and uses dangerous tools etc, so him being tired would create quite a risk. He does look after the kids (we have a 8yo as well) when he gets home, though. I feel like putting her in a nursery just so I can sleep, but it breaks my heart to think of it that way.
Please help.