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5yo comparing herself to others - wwyd?

3 replies

LightminTheQueem · 08/01/2014 09:20

DD1 is 5 and at school. Today on the way she saw our neighbour, who's a bit older and then said to me that sometimes she felt a bit 'bigger' than other people, indicating 'fatter' with her hands. Then she said sometimes she felt she was 'the right size and sometimes the wrong size'. I tried to say that there wasn't a right and wrong size, only different shapes etc. but she want convinced.

This comes after a conversation last night about how her 'learning' wasn't as good as other people in the class, how she hated school, hated her learning, wanted me to teach her at home etc. (not something I've ever suggested). She seems generally happy at school, has friends and is pretty assertive, so usually I treat it like stalling tactics really and perhaps I've been too dismissive.

How should I approach this? I hate that she's already making physical comparisons. She is tall for her age, and people comment on it and what size clothes she's in (7-9yo). Perhaps I have fed that as I have said to friends about it, but not in a disparaging way. I don't talk about my shape really, don't diet etc. My instinct is to try to encourage her just to let go of those thoughts as I feel like any rationalisation just feeds it, but I don't know if that's best. I want to say that as long as she's fit and healthy that's the thing, but I worry that that sets up a wrong impression of ill or disabled people. All advice welcome!

OP posts:
AwfulMaureen · 08/01/2014 22:50

Is she overweight? I know that's a blunt question....and sorry if it's rude...but just to be sure that she's not...which would very possibly affect he view of herself.

TheGreatHunt · 08/01/2014 22:55

You say you don't talk about weight really. Which sounds like you do even if it's a little bit. I've said things to/in front of ds maybe once or twice and he's picked them up and obsessed over them. He's 4.

Someone else might have said something too.

How tall is tall? Is she heavy as well?

LightminTheQueem · 09/01/2014 19:52

She's not overweight, no. She isn't thin either, just stocky I suppose. But not even that really. I don't talk about weight, diets etc. but after DD2 was born last year DD1 kept saying my tummy was still fat, why was it still so fat etc. and it got to me a bit so I said it made me feel sad and I didn't want her to talk about it any more. That's the only thing I can remember about body shape at all. I'd say she's as tall as a 7 year old. She has a friend who is taller and also a bit bigger around I'd say, and there are several other children in her class who are as tall and also big, ie not tall and thin. So she doesn't stand out as being markedly different from the others.

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