I have 10 yo twins (Y6). Over the years they have been difficult sleepers but we got there in the end we thought. Last October I was in hospital for a while unexpectedly then recuperating at home. All very sudden and disruptive, then we had the excitement of Christmas, then sadness of extended family going home, then going back to school yesterday, and it seems to have knocked them off balance completely.
So for the last 10 days, DS will not settle at all at bedtime unless I stay upstairs. If I go down he sits on the loo waiting and eventually starts shouting and sobbing until I give in. One evening he made himself physically sick through yelling so I haven't left him again. During the day he is mostly ok but tends to follow me about a bit. Generally he is an anxious child, won't go on playdates, doesn't like going anywhere just loves being at home pottering around. Fine at school usually. But he has eating issues and gets very anxious about food too. Once I come upstairs he immediately stops fussing and goes to sleep.
DD is generally happy and confident, more adventurous than her brother. At bedtime she is now crying, not happy with me upstairs even and cries until I actually get in bed with her.
We have tried to get them to articulate their particular fears but there is nothing specific, they just want me. We have tried being reassuring but they just like me to give in. So now we are trying being cross and punishing them for being naughty. Doesn't seem to make any difference, they take the punishment (eg no screens until this all stops) and then the nights are the same.
So what do I do? Dh and I are at the end of our tether - we can't just leave them crying as they set each other off and we have neighbours to consider. It means we don't have any sort of an evening together and the whole house has an unhappy atmosphere with this issue looming every night.