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Behaviour/development

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14 week old seems to have tantrums?!

7 replies

MissyTJ · 07/01/2014 09:52

Ok, I know this is going to sounds nuts, and I've read online that this is impossible, and people may assume I'm a terrible, neglectful mother or something....but I swear my 14 week old daughter has full on strops! She's always been quite a 'shouty' crier (ie, all our friends babies do this beautiful gentle 'whimper' you can hardly hear, but DD literally screams her head off, she goes from 0-60 before you realise anything is even wrong and you're like 'whooooa...ok ok!'. She started sort of 'barking' at me from around 4 weeks - I know that sounds mad but it was like a yap, like 'mahhh! baaaah!' with no tears or even consistency, just sort of yapping to check I was giving her attention, if I dared leave the room to go to the loo she'd yap and sometimes just scream (the amount if times I've struggled to go to the loo with baby on lap/over shoulder....once I had to leg it with pants round my ankles to grab her as couldn't stand the screaming...LOL!

The weird thing is she's such a delight, she's smiley, very chatty, she's properly laughing now too, we have great fun, she sleeps fairly well, naps quite well, but every so often just goes utterly berserk, like last night for no apparent reason she screamed her head off from 5.30pm to 9.30 pm (she was fed, clean nappy, bathed, no temperature, gave calpol anyway eventually though, pulled all her clothes off and actually checked for injuries at one point, winded her for about 25 solid minutes, held/lay her in every possible position, lights on, lights off, walked her, bounced her, rocked her, sang, shhhhd....), bar a 25 min nap in between where I gave up trying to put her down and plonked her in her bouncy chair until she dozed off, grobag and all! I do stay calm and just try to get her through it as assume she's venting for a reason, often its overtiredness but I can usually rock her to sleep from that, she's not had a screaming fit like that for ages!

I know 'they' say they don't have the capacity to feel anger, but I think she is super frustrated at this point of development (able to grab things but it's really draining her energy and concentration to do it, can't quite roll over, wants to sit/stand but can't) plus she's probably teething....is it possible that she's just say 'arghhhh I'm so bladdy cross!' or am I one of those hyper sensitive weak mums who is going to be at the mercy of her toddler in a few years time...? argh!

It sounds awful but....it's sometimes quite funny, I mean she really shouts, like she's really pissed off, and she's so tiny and cute it's just a bit funny, lol! Maybe she's just a girl who knows her own mind and won't stop til she get what she wants, and I kind of like that about her in a weird way! Funny little thing :-)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/01/2014 11:30

What makes you think she's cross? Could she just simply be suffering from colic? What happens if you offer her another feed and take her for a walk? Have you tried a sling?

UriGeller · 07/01/2014 11:44

You got yourself an amazing baby! Don't we all want our DD's to be able to ask for help, assistance, comfort, love and receive it?? And if you carry on giving yourself to her so quickly you'll teach her that if she asks, help will come. What a brilliant way to build her confidence and compassion because its those who see the world as a friendly, loving place that are most able to give love.

Well done!

MissyTJ · 07/01/2014 13:31

jilted I do think wind/colic is sometimes a culprit. I think she's cross from the way she shouts! lol! its not a pain cry or a tired cry or a hungry cry, just plain old narked off! Walks help sometimes if she's tired. She has started to go in the sling finally, she hates being 'contained' if that makes sense - even at 2 days old she thrashed wildly and screamed at swaddling, she loves to throw her arms and legs about, very active little monkey (bath time is a hoot!)

uri aw thanks, its scary because I dont want to spoil her, hence asking the question as I don't know if me dropping everything will make her a little madam! I do think I will be able to discipline her when the time comes in a year or so, with safe, clear boundaries, but it does worry me. My little sister was a cute but stroppy toddler and my dad always found it charming and it got the point she got away with murder and my mum couldnt control her and she ruled the roost! DD definitely knows how to express herself thats for sure!

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/01/2014 17:43

I think you can respond to your baby's needs now and not worry too much about her behaviour when she's a toddler yet.

My DS was a very high needs baby and it was totally exhausting. I'm not saying he is an angel every day, but he's always had clear boundaries and we often get comments about how polite and well behaved he is.

As for spoiling her, there is clear evidence that if you respond to your baby's needs now, by 9 months they actually cry less.

You might like Why Love Matters Smile

MissyTJ · 07/01/2014 18:59

Thanks jilted that's reassuring! I will check out the link.
Like the name by the way. Is Gordon still a moron? ;-)

OP posts:
UriGeller · 07/01/2014 19:30

You won't spoil her Smile

JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/01/2014 20:07

Gordon most definitely is still a moron Grin

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