Toddler Sleep or lack of?!

[SeptMummy]

My 2.3 DS is being a nightmare when it comes to sleep. Having on the whole been brilliant at going to bed and waking around 6ish, he is currently waking around midnight and most evenings being difficult to go to bed.
I have a 6 month DS2 who is difficult to settle as has silent reflux which is exhausting in itself so I'm sorry to say my DH has taken himself to the spare room and will take DS1 to bed with him when he wakes, but DS1 is such a wriggler/moaner when asleep he tends to keep DH awake most nights and he's now back to work so we really need to get DS1 back on track, for DS1 sake too as he's so tired and miserable.
We have tried the controlled crying route which has been successful in the past, especially at bed time, but doesn't seem to be working anymore, he just stands in cot, screaming and shouting and doesn't relent, however many times you try to settle, read another story, lay him down again. Last night we ended up bringing him down and cuddled until asleep then took him back to cot. We've tried leaving door open, night light, groclock etc but no avail.
Any tips welcome...

Hi Septmummy
It must be exhausting for you. You say the controlled crying worked in the past - so he has obviously done this before. How long have you tried for this time? It can take a couple of weeks. He is obviously waking routinely now & it has become a habit - thinking aloud, is there a reason why he isn't comfortable enough to go back to sleep. Have you tried maybe giving him a bedtime snack ( hunger?). Is he maybe kicking off his blankets & getting cold? Maybe a night light - one of those that activates when he cries? Hard as it is, the worst thing to do is read to him, cuddle him or get him up. If you are certain that he is not hungry, cold or in pain then I'm afraid you will just have to persevere. One final thought, is he maybe sleeping/napping too much in the day or too late in the afternoon? At his age now, they start to need a bit less daytime sleep.

Good luck - it will get better.

Thank you scornedwoman.
My son usually has one/two bedtimes a week where he doesn't settle immediately and we've done the controlled crying route then and he's asleep within 30 minutes! This current 'phase' is different as he just will not relent and it's only at bedtime I might read him another story, not later in night, at that time we just go in check all is well, nappy, warm/cold etc and repeat, but whereas in past he would eventually settle after 30mins at the most 1hour, now he just isn't. Last night bedtime he was shouting/screaming for nearly 2hrs before we had to try something else, hence bringing him down, not ideal I know, but he clearly wasn't going to sleep having got in such a state. He does the same now when waking in night and it can't be right to let him screaming for hours.
I don't believe he's hungry as has a decent supper and a bottle of milk still before bed... Daytime naps he's now got quite reluctant about, but will sleep for about an hour late morning-lunchtime.
He's possibly teething as his four molars are still to come, but bonjela usually does the trick there, it might be a delayed reaction to having a sibling, who is very needy because of his reflux, but strange to appear 6 months down the line... I know it will get better, it's just we're all shattered and this 'phase' seems to be longer than ever!!

I think it's an age thing. Have a quick skim - you'll see a few threads about 2 year olds! My dd is doing similar, driving me mad. It's actually better for us to sleep in her room as she settles quickly and actually she sometimes wants a feed.
it's like her brain cannot switch off!
Did your oldest have reflux? My dd (and ds) still has the odd issue now - she has it.

Hi Septtmummy,
I hope the phase passes quickly. If it is teething, maybe a spoon of Calpol before bed might help as well. Hoping your household is restored to calm very soon!

Thanks let's hope so! No, thegreathunt, DS1 didn't have reflux, think it must be a 'switching off' thing or a delayed reaction to his sibling, knowing he's still with me when DS1 goes to bed perhaps, although DS2 been like that since day one! I wouldn't mind so much if DS1 just played/chatted in his room, it's the shouting/screaming which is so tough and of course tends to keep DS2 unsettled ( as I have to pass DS1 room to put DS2 to bed!)

Try telling him what you're doing? My dd, funnily enough, will understand when I tell her I've got to make dinner for example. She might cry or she might say "oh". If she cries I try and cuddle a bit more.

When she was a baby and I had 2 year old ds, DH did his bedtime. Ds didn't like it but it was better that than leave him. As dd got older, they started sharing which made it easier. Can yours share?