I KNOW its normal behavior, but need a variety of methods to deal with it. Admittedly I'm really struggling.

[jimijack]

Ds 1 is 10.

He is annoying, frustrating, hard work and we are just not getting on.

He shouts out, repeats words over & over at varying volumes. He talks none stop. Cannot/will not sit still. Has to be asked over and over again to do simple tasks. (Get dressed, put shoes on).
Siulky, silly behavior.
His sleeping is awful, he is up until 11 at night, despite going to bed at 8.30.

We go round in circles. He knows all of this ends in him getting shouted at but still does it all.

My question is what do you do to manage your child if any of these behaviors are familiar to you?

Just still very sensitive about whole thing and not sure i can go there just yet

I can really relate to that. It takes a long time and a lot of thinking to begin to accept that your child may have some sort of additional needs. Even after DD1 received a diagnosis from CAMHS, I couldn't say the words Autism or Asperger's out loud, even to myself. It was a reality I couldn't bring myself to accept and allow to exist. Even four years on having been through an awful lot with both girls, I still find myself questioning it all.

Go easy on yourself. You have a lot to deal with emotionally just now and you need to do that at your own pace. Whether or not your son has ANs and whether or not he gets a diagnosis, he needs you to care for him so your well-being is just as important.

I could also have written. DS 7 has ASD, he does nothing I ask, has to be dressed, breaks everything, shouts, has poured hot chocolate over himself tonight, still awake at 11pm each night, runs and spins like a tazmanian devil, climbs.

DD, possible Asperger's, although nobody will take me seriously with getting her referred. She has glimpses of being helpful, doing what she's told etc. but still behaves like him, awake until 11pm, repeatedly coming downstairs, having to be asked ten times to do anything. We are at the end of our tethers

I'm glad goldmandra and others have posted so quickly because my first thought was also asd. I have worked with children with asperger's syndrome and am also on the spectrum myself. Obviously I'm not diagnosing (!) but this is definitely worth looking into.

Teachers are not the best people to rule out asd.

You are not to blame. And with the right help and support everything is going to be fine.

I struggled with PND with one of my boys and bonding took a while to arrive while guilt took a while to leave. He's 6 now.

I recon here will be lots of well rated amazon books about preteens and also bonding. I think you should have a good read

Are you spending quality time alone with him having fun/ playing a board game/cycling etc?

Can you behave as if you are well bonded with him, sometimes real emotions will follow through. So thank him often for small things and pay his shoulder often.

Get his full attention when giving instructions. Use his name, stand close and use eye contact. Get him to repeat instructions back to you. Give deadlines and set alarms.

Lastly maybe try a relaxation CD to help him wind down. Or use the usual - long bath, milk and a banana, book then relaxation CD.