Am I being mean considering nursery for 3 year old because..

[Slightlyneuroricnat]

Her sister who is 10 months older is starting?
Feel pretty bad about it as I wouldn't have used any other childcare settling for my eldest apart from the school nursery to settle her into school where she has her place for September.
Her sister, 10 months younger will go the following year.
I'm becoming more and more aware that this is the last year I will get any time on my own with my eldest before she starts reception next September and am considering putting my youngest in a pre school a few mornings a week so I have that time on my own with my eldest.
I also don't want my eldest to feel pushed out or like she has to go somewhere but my youngest doesn't.
Any advice?

I hope so.
I just can't help feel bad for my eldest having no time with me without my youngest!
But I guess even with a 2 year gap I'd have felt the same.
We planned it like this for them to grow up together, have to admit I didn't think about time they would like with me alone

Siblings have their own dynamic. Your eldest daughters role Is to be the big girl in your younger daughters eyes. Your younger daughter will look up to her big sister.

I wouldn't worry about her feeling pushed out. Its like saying your younger dd is 'second fiddle' to your eldest and you feel sorry for her because she had to wear handmedowns. Its just the way families work.

That's vey true, I hadn't looked at it like that to be honest.
I didnt want to use any childcare other than school nursery to prepare for school and I would feel I was treating them differently by sending my youngest off to a pre school at not even 3 years old so I think I will see how it goes come April with my eldest starting and play it by ear
Thankyou for all your replies

I think it's a good idea. I think one to one time really benefits children. I didn't do what you did, but I did have one to one time with my eldest at the weekend (my younger one was getting one to one time while she was at school.) I found it improved her behaviour and she still loves it now at age 9.

All DC benefit from one-to-one time with a parent. All DC benefit from part time nursery school from around age 3. Do whatever works for your family to make this happen.

I agree with Bonsoir that children benefit from part time nursery from around age three as well as one to one time. So your suggestion is a good one.

I think you're over thinking things a little. I also think your youngest might be upset to see you and the oldest going home together after dropping her at nursery.

Forgive me for getting all amateur psychologist, but why are you worried about your older child? Do you somehow feel guilty that having a sibling so close in age meant that you never got enough alone time with her? Did you struggle with depression or to bond with your second child after she was born?

I have twins, so neither has had proper 1 on 1 time at any stage, save when we "manufacture" it at weekends when DH does soemthing with one and I do something with the other, or one is at a friend's and one is not. It is fine, I think you are over-thinking it. I do appreciate it is sliglhy different in that we did not have the scenario where one was leavign the house and one was staying at home as they started pre-school at the same time. Hence, I think you need to focus on DD1 going to pre-school as a positive grown-up thing. The way you describe it that "my eldest is going to wonder why suddenly she goes somewhere and my youngest doesn't have to" makes it sound like going to pre-school is a bad thing and I therefore think you have to focus on changing that outlook. It is perhaps just as likely that your youngest is going to wonder why her sister gets to go out and get to do fun stuff when she has to stay at home!
I have lots of friends with 2 DC who are close in age, and they defintely have more issues with the youngest wanting to do things that the oldest does when they are not ready, rather than the other way round and are conscious of the risk of holding the oldest back from doing stuff until the youngest is ready whihc is not necessarily fair on the oldest, or giving in and letting the youngest do stuff before they are really ready.

Ihaveseenmyhat,
No depression whatsoever and until the last few months as pre school is approaching I would have happily suggested this age gap to anyone.
They really have enjoyed their time together and luckily my youngest is willing to try most things do outings have never been a problem as they're at a similar stage in most things.

I guess it's just mothers guilt, guilt that they are only 10 months apart and yet my youngest will have me every day for a few hours and my eldest never has ( apart from as a baby obviously )
Maybe as I've been at home throughout I'm worried about my daughter coping with the transition to pre school too

Iamgluzezilla,
Thankyou for your experience.
Can I ask how old yours were when you did it?