3mo waking every 40 minutes...

[Peregrin]

We have been struggling with sleep from the start and had exactly two nights when my 3mo slept more than two hours in total without me holding him and periodically pacing the floor. Now he has taken to waking every 40 mins and needing to be bfed back to sleep. Then another 20 mins of holding him upright till he reaches deep sleep = no sleep for me. This regardless of using the cot or cosleeping. Paeds congratulate me on a healthy child. Surely this cannot be normal?!

Any insight or advice please?

My baby was much the same for months on end (not what you want to hear I'm sure) but it DID get better.

Assuming you've ruled out the usual hunger / wind / too cold, does he get enough sleep during the day? I think overtiredness can be a big reason for frequent waking / hard to settle. I think 1.5-2 hour 'awake time' is normal at that age between naps - but check online if not sure.

Things improved for us once we got daytime naps sorted, and tried to settle him in his cot as much as possible - using baby whisperer 'shh pat' technique.

Good luck...I've been there and its tough!

Oh gosh, I just had flash backs of when dd was that age. She was exactly the same and I remember it was indeed sanity destroying.

In our case a wedge shaped pillow did help a bit as she had awful wind and reflux so maybe worth a try. Mostly though I am sorry to say I just had to ride it out. In fact now I come to think about it I am still riding it out. Sorry, that last bit probably wasn't so helpful.

Thank you! He has had bad wind but it's actually improved while his sleep got worse. He naps during the day too, at every sign he is getting tired I put him to sleep. Wakes up the moment he hits the cot though so sleeps plugged on to a boob during the day (waking frequently even then). I have cut out dairy, milk etc from my diet and so on..

Tonight he has just flailed around during the one stretch that he used to sleep through even recently, so am rocking him again...

And yes I aim to get him to nap every two hours at the latest... it just feels like it's getting worse instead of improving!

This sounds like he's waking every sleep cycle when he comes in to the light sleep phase, they say it's every 30-45 mins, fine for daytime naps but he needs to learn to get himself off to sleep in order to be able to stay asleep. At 3 months it's probably fine to do a little sleep training, my dd is good at night but not so good with naps, she's 3 months and I give her5 mins to cry before I go in and pop her dummy back in, doesn't take long before she's asleep. Never takes more than a couple of goes unless she is genuinely hungry. Dummies are a lifesaver, feeding on demand is a trap in my opinion! x

DD did this for a couple of months. It nearly killed me. She had silent reflux so it was only sorted with medication. 48 hours after the meds were changed she slept 12 hours. I felt 20 years younger!

DS1 was a hideous sleeper.

Turned out he had tongue tie and many tied babies/children have sleep problems.

Oh poor you. I have been through this too with my LO who is now 5 months. I read everything I could and tried many techniques (apart from controlled crying and crying it out). He had silent reflux too and sleeping on a wedge helped him too. For me a lot of his sleep issue are food related. With the reflux he snacks so dependent on regular feeds and sucking for comfort. I would definitely try a dummy. You may find he still wakes a lot but at least he's sucking that and not you! Your other half could then help too giving you some respite. I found that I had to fight to get a diagnoses of silent reflux and subsequent meds which helped too. If you want to try something yourself you can get baby Gaviscon over the counter. Might be worth trying and seeing if it has an effect. If it does then there's your answer! Go back to the GP every week if you have to!

What I would say that my LO is still waking at night but it's every 4 hours now. There was a time when I thought I couldn't survive it but we did. It will get better I promise!

Thank you again! He won't take dummies, only the real thing... I've trief infant Gaviscon a few times, without perceptible difference. I figured if it's reflux it would act straight away to bind the acids. How long before you saw change? Could other medication help? To tie it all off, we live abroad and due to bureaucratic complications he is still without health insurance. Each visit to the paediatrician is 50 euros out of our pocket. (And I do realise mumsnet is no substitute, we'been three times but essentialy I am patronised as a first time parent and fobbed off with "babies do cry"and its ilk.)

Forgot to add, he doesn't have tongue tie but thank you for the suggestion.

In NZ they recommend you only keep babies up for 45mins to 1 1/4 hours at the max. After that they say they are overtired and therefore it's much harder to get them to sleep.

Have a look here: www.thesleepstore.co.nz/newborn-sleep/sleep-articles/recognising-baby-tired-signs

and at the rest of their sleep info pages. I found the site very useful. i can't remember the current advice on swaddling but that helped for me. DD was scared of her own hands and kept waking herself up....

Thanks sleepywombat! I am allergic to peanuts and my mum to pollen and that's all. I have cut out tree nuts and loads of other things despite inial reluctance. I currently eat:

millet, buckwheat, potatoes and tiny amounts of wheat for carbs

roast chicken, canned tuna, some other fish, hardboiled eggs for protein (leaving eggs out did not seem to make a difference), occasional soy pudding or soy milk

pumpkin, carrots, canned beetroot, gherkins, some olives, apples, pears, dates, occasional spinach or green beans.

I used to be a fiend for chocolate... oh to live to see the day!

Interesting, Korora. I could try that!

Omg sleepywombat. And you are still considering a third one! You must be a saint.
My son is at least gaining well so there
is that to be grateful for.

Try a wedge, if he does suffer with wind and puking it may help. I got one for my ds (5wks) and he sleeps much better now although he's such a wriggler he does slide down so I have to occasional reposition him. He's in a Grobag so no risk of him being stuck under covers when he slides down but it can't be comfortable. We got our wedge off amazon

The Gaviscon didn't really do anything for our DS but in the UK there is a protocol that you have to follow in order to progress on to the next meds. We tried Ranitidine which again did nothing and finally after changing GPs we got Omeprozole which suppresses the production of stomach acid. That helped a bit. Meant he was waking up 2-3 hours instead of every hour! I agree with one of the previous posters about them learning to settle themselves. That's our next battle! I'm now considering CC but only now I know his reflux is better otherwise it would be pointless as they could be waking in pain.

As I said before I went through what felt like every option. You might have tried some of this but here's some other suggestions I did too to rule every other possibilities for poor sleeping:
A top up of formula in the evening (maybe a hypoallergenic formula like Neocate if allergies are a concern)
The wedge
White noise
Putting them to sleep on their side/front (obviously weighing up risks)
Distraction like a musical mobile (Sometimes my LO drops off after watching it)
Black out blinds
Consistent bedtime routine
Consistent waking up time e.g work on a 7am - 7pm routine.
Ensuring they get 3-4 hour naps a day.
Maybe also get a 2nd opinion on the tongue tie. It took 3 breast feeding consultants to diagnose ours!
See a different Paed (we too were dismissed with 'colic').

Just remember that it will get better. I had some v dark times but we're getting there now!

Gaviscon did nothing for DD. We did see success with Ranitidine in the early days though so that would be a next step. There are 3 levels of dose so keep going back until you get somewhere.

Thank you again! Am asking paed about other medication.
Sleepywombat, I forgot to ask what your DC2 was found to be allergic to?