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My 28 month old DS is still not talking
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BlueEyes48 · 04/01/2014 14:43

I'm new to mumsnet and I really wanted to get some advice about my little boy.

At 28 months old he is only saying a few words and will occasionally repeat what you ask him to, he doesn't understand what I am saying he will just say "yes" to everything.

I tried to potty train him and we just ended up with 6 pairs of pants in the wash in the space of half an hour- an hour so I'm just going to wait until he begins to understand what I am trying to get him to do.

My question is is this normal? Or do you think that I should contact his health visitor/GP for some advice?

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TheGoodLadyWife · 04/01/2014 14:47

I have to say I would probably be contacting my health visitor, just in case. Doesn't necessarily mean an issue but worth exploring, especially if there are issues which may be easily rectified, I.e. hearing etc?
Though saying that some children just do develop later than others!

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MrsSteptoe · 04/01/2014 14:50

I left the loo stuff till DS was nearly 3, and he took to it really quickly. I think the extra maturity made it painless. But I had only one child, so I wasn't trying to juggle nappies between two kids, which I know can be hard - and expensive.

Re speech, DS saw a speech therapist at around the age of your DS. In practice, he turned out to be fine, just a bit slow, and he benefited from me getting some specific advice as to how to encourage the development of his speech and some advice as to how to communicate using Makaton etc. - but in the case of another mother who took her DS to a speech therapist at around the same age, that child did need some more expert intervention (can't remember why now) which he got in good time because she acted early.

For every hundred or so kids that learn to speak perfectly well in time, there must surely be one who needed a bit of intervention, and you won't know that it isn't yours unless you get it checked out. The only thing i can't qiute remember is if DS was around the same age as yours when the HV referred him to the speech therapist, but I think he was.

On the whole, I think a no regrets policy is a good idea - remember that he's probably fine and just a bit slow, ignore the "Einstein didn't speak till he was four" cliches, talk to your HV, and take it from there.

HTH.

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Aliama · 04/01/2014 14:53

I also have a toddler with speech delay. She's 3 in feb and has no expressive speech at all although she understands a lot.

Definitely seek help now. It may well be nothing, but it can take ages to get a referral/speech therapist etc, so the sooner the better, frankly. And if there is an underlying issue, better to catch it early as get as much help as possible.

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kelda · 04/01/2014 14:55

I think the six pairs of wet pants over half an hour is showing that he is attempting to control his weeing - it's not normal to wee six times an hour.

But I wouldn't worry too much about potty training at the moment.

It is more important that he understands what you say. Some children do through a period of repeating what you are saying, but I think it is something you should speak to your GP about. Tell the GP exacty what you have said here - that he doesn't appear to understand you, says yes to everything and repeats what you say.

At the very least he needs to have his hearing checked out.

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TwerkingNineToFive · 04/01/2014 15:00

Are you worried about anything else? Does he seem to understand? Does he have typical play skills?
Either way I would definitely get him referred, it can take a long time.

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TwerkingNineToFive · 04/01/2014 15:00

Oh yes and definitely get his hearing checked.

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BlueEyes48 · 04/01/2014 15:17

Thank you for the replies and advice.

I went to the GP about his hearing a while back and he did have an ear infection in both ears, she put him on antibiotics and everything seemed fine after that, I could go back and see if there is an underlying problem with his ears if you think that will help as that was a few months ago.

Another thing which does worry me is that he cannot drink out of a cup, he just tips it all down himself and I have tried every type of sippy cup I can find but he just refuses to drink unless it is in a bottle.

Also, I worry about his eating as he gags and chokes very easily on small lumps in his meal, I've tried everything with regards to flavour and texture and he still has to have it pureed otherwise he will refuse to eat. He also cannot use cutlery by himself and I have to feed him.

I have had people telling me not to worry about it for months but I cannot help when he is with other toddlers noticing a huge difference in development.

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MrsSteptoe · 04/01/2014 15:26

I think there's a kind of "don't worry about it, but talk to the HV" middle route. Yes, it'll probably all sort itself out in time. But if it doesn't, then you don't want to be behidn the curve.
Forgot to say that as part of investigation into the (slight) delay in his speech, DS saw hearing specialist at hospital to make sure that ear infections hadn't left him with impaired hearing. It hadn't, so that was something eliminated - a positive in and of itself.

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kelda · 04/01/2014 15:47

I would be pushing for a paediatric refferal, and an actual hearing test.

Loads of people told me not to worry about my ds's speech - telling me he's a boy, Einstein didn't speak until he was three etc. - when I was actually very concerned about him. It turns out he has a type of dypraxia that effect his speech and also his eating. He is now getting the help he needs.

Of course there might not be any problem with your ds - but if there is, the sooner you get help, the better.

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TwerkingNineToFive · 04/01/2014 15:49

I would definitely want his oro-motor skills looked at. The speech therapist can ask him to for example stick out his younger and wiggle to see if he has the normal range and strength of movement. The will also ask questions about eating drinking etc.
Some times kids need help for them to develop things that come naturally to others. Nobody knows why but almost all catch up with the correct input.
In the mean time get a referral to slt, look up the Hanen programme online for tips and keep working on drinking from straws, cups etc. It may resolve before you get an appointment but its worth doing.

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kelda · 04/01/2014 15:53

The other thing I would suggest, as well as the paediatric and speeh therapy referrals, is to start some simple makaton sign language with him - the type you see on Mr Tumble.

Signing can help stimulate all areas of communication.

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neunundneunzigluftballons · 04/01/2014 15:55

I have a 25 mth old who seems to me to be speech delayed. I have not really pursued it but maybe I should. He knows his numbers, colours and letters but they would not necessarily be clear to others what he was saying but it is to people who know him which has probably comforted me unreasonably. Hmmm you have got me thinking. He is speaking at the same level his sister was at under 1. I will be watching.

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BlueEyes48 · 04/01/2014 16:12

I will contact his health visitor on Monday and let her know my concerns.

Thank you for sharing your own experiences, it has made me more determined to get DS the help he may or may not need.

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cakebar · 04/01/2014 16:25

Good luck. My dd is speech delayed, the hv and preschool together referred her a couple of months ago, and we have been warned it will be a long wait. Starting preschool has made a difference for her and she seems to be making progress now she has turned 3. She could understand me, but I couldn't really understand much at all of what she was saying until very recently.

FWIW my dd potty trained a little later than my other children and I think that was communication difficulties rather than a physical thing.

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Worriedthistimearound · 04/01/2014 16:45

Ok, you need to push for a referral. Speech delay is one thing but lack of understanding at his age is a concern. Who on earth has been telling you not to worry? Because they have done you no favours in the long run.

Make a list and go straight to your GP. Don't mess around seeing the health visitor. Straight to GP and ask to be referred for a thorough assessment which will include a hearing test.

How is he with interaction? Does he point at things using his index finger? Does he look back whilst pointing to check you have seen what he's pointing at? Does he share things with you such as rice cakes, biscuits etc? Does he bring things to show you? Most children start pointing between 12mths and 15mths. A child not pointing, showing and sharing by 18mths needs a referral. Have you seen the mchat test? here

How are his sensory responses? Does he hate cold, heat, textures etc? How is he with different feeling clothes? How is he with sand and/or water play? Does he enjoy messy play?

I'm not suggesting your DS has autism as it could be a vast number of issues or indeed nothing at all. However, if there is an issue, the earlier you get a referral and get 'in the system' the better. The issues with speaking, eating and drinking could all be linked to a form of dyspraxia so don't panic that the mchat automatically means autism. I've linked to it because it's best to see the GP armed with as much info as possible to avoid being told to 'keep an eye on things' for another 6mths.

Good luck OP and sorry if my post is direct. But I'd rather be direct and honest than be just someone else who tells you that a non verbal 2.5yr old who struggles to eat independently or drink from a cup and who appears not to understand you is just getting there in his own time.

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sunnyfriday · 04/01/2014 16:56

what worriedhistimeround said.

skip the HV - go straight to GP. make a list of concerns and take it with you.

lack of speech is one thing, lack of understanding a at 28 months is far more concerning.

do the m-chat online and take the result with you to the GP if anything is flagged up. this is an autism screeningtool.

ask for a referral for

  • hearing test
  • SALT
  • developmental paediatician

    don't get fobbed off with the wait and see approach. waiting lists are very long in most places.

    good luck.
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Littlefish · 04/01/2014 16:57

I agree with Worried.

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sunnyfriday · 04/01/2014 16:58

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kelda · 04/01/2014 17:15

Again, to confirm what worried has said -

don't bother with the health visiter, go straight to your GP, and don't stop until you have a paediatric referral.

Make sure you include absolutely everything you have said here - and more if there is more.

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hazeyjane · 04/01/2014 19:23

It is important that you mention the eating and gagging wrt the speech therapy, as it will then be marked as an urgent referral - ds was seen within a week. His initial referral had been fucked up by the hv, so I called and made a parent referral. If you google your local SALT service, there should be a phone number.

Agree, you need a referral to a paed, so gp may be best option.

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Catchacold · 01/09/2016 22:41

My son is 29mths old he can climb run an walk but no speech or understanding off anything he drinks from a bottle refuses a cup or beaker struggling eating apart from toast an sandwiches he can't point or clap didn't look at us no eye contact doesn't know how t choose things not sure what to do for the best portage involved but not really done much in 12mths x

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Kells111 · 04/01/2017 22:02

Hi just wondering has anyone any advice, my 28 month old not talking doesn't say and words at all just babbles sometimes he doesn't understand if I say where's your shoes etc doesn't no body parts, animal sounds or any simple things, he's just started pointing and waving bye bye, he seems to get very frustrated and cries and winges a lot and has started constantly screaming, he had a first ped assessment and was coming up 1 1/2 yrs behind on speech and understanding, could he have anything else wrong or does it just sound like a speech delay I'm getting very worried about him as he isn't progressing at all x

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Miloarmadillo1 · 06/01/2017 22:13

What did the paediatrician say, kells ? The trouble with all of this is it's so slow! My daughter has a development delay, it is so frustrating waiting and chasing all the time to get help. We've found a group at our local children's centre for children with additional needs very useful, you don't need an official diagnosis, but the staff have a lot of experience with SEN and can often point you in the right direction. We found learning Makaton very useful, both because it reduces frustration but also it forces you to slow down and simplify your own speech. Start with Mr Tumble and see how you get on?

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SheepyFun · 06/01/2017 22:41

He sounds in some ways like a more extreme version of my DD (now 4). She was slow to speak, and first said 'mummy' aged 20 months. Now there is no shutting her up, and her pronunciation can be embarrassingly clear. I think her understanding was OK though.

When we first started potty training (in the summer, so slightly easier!) she'd got through 14 pairs of pants in the first day, despite wearing a nappy for her nap - I had to go out and buy more. However that only lasted a couple of days, and then the wee incidents became more spaced out (but bigger). She was 2yrs 8 months when we started.

She still gags on food, and when we started weaning, really didn't want to have anything which wasn't milk in her mouth - if she couldn't spit it out, she would vomit (full milk vomit). She remains a very picky eater; the vomiting stopped at about a year (when she got better at spitting!). She refused to use a sippy cup until 18 months, and still has milk in bottles (a battle we've chosen not to fight). So eating isn't great, but it's improving slowly.

Not much to help you, but at least some sympathy.

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snowman1 · 06/01/2017 22:44

hi I just wanted to say that the eating and drinking and speech things are all interlinked, it takes a huge amount of muscle tone to literally get your mouth around speaking! My friend's son was referred and they said to continue to get him to feed himself as far as he is able. I completely accept baby led weaning isn't for everyone, but at this point I would probably ditch cutlery completely and go back to breadsticks, fish, pasta, broccoli - all those really simple foods that kids can handle with their hands. Would this be too much for him ? Sometimes if you are spoon feeding, they can't manage any lumps but if it's under their own control they can manage it all a bit better if you know what I mean? Do you think this would be too much for him?
my understanding is that comprehension is really important, perhaps more so than speech, so if you tell him for example, go to the kitchen and get a biscuit would he understand? (I only use biscuit as it's something they would definately comply with!). Some kids with ear infections and constant colds when they are little can be a bit behind because they literally have had days when their hearing hasn't been the best.
I would try your doctor as a first (rather than HV) but some Children's centres have (or used to have) speech and language drop ins which might be useful? You've had some lovely people with more experience than me post, I hope you get the support you need but agree with others, start now, don't leave it a few months.

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