how do you respond to "I want...."

[thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat]

ok so I'm sure the occassional subtle not so whiney voiced one slips past my radar but have just been on my hols with another family. "I want..." was either met with "of course dear" or "grr shut up I'm busy" ie theh response was entirely dictated not by the child's behaviour but by the parent's mood. I'm not purporting to be perfect and I am guilty of allowing my mood to affect my parenting (who isn't) but I swear in a week's holiday I never once heard "i want" met with a mood-neutral "how do you ask for things?" or "i don;t listen to girls who say I want" etc etc. would this drive you mad? it certainly did me.

really? well i want a million pounds, to be a size 6 again, a detached bungalow, a toyota prius, my old hair back, a spa day, etc.

that's exactly how i answer her sometimes.

If either mine say I want I say
thats not how you ask for things politely darling, please ask again nicely...
Same for
Give me ...and
Get me ...

I want never gets
Please may I have - will be discussed

a direct quote from my mum

Yep my mothers favourite was "I want never gets" or "well now you know what it's like to want then".

normally if i here i want i either say "pardon" with the hope of hearing "please can i have"

or i say "do you" to which i here a yes and it goes no furtehr than that...

if i ask a question eg "would you like milk of water with your tea" and i get the responce "milk" i say pardon.... pardon..... pardon.... its just i cant here you asking me nicely.... which ends up prompting milk please.

My aunty always said (& still does say) "I want doesn't get."

Even DD's nursery says "I want doesn't get"

I answer with 'well that's not how you ask for something is it, so start again'

I say that too, gdg - and if I still don't get a 'please' I feign deafness for as long as it takes.

"Does saying I want get you what you want?"

"no"

"What gets you what you want?"

"Please may I have..."

This has been drilled in, but I must admit sometimes I just comply without thinking, or say no!

Same as Katymac

I always respond with "really?" "do you?" or "that's nice" and nothing more (studied doing something else).

Non of mine even bother now, they say it, I respond, they start again properly. They have learnt that I can make a conversation last a very long time with "ohh that's nice" etc

" i want dunt get, try again"

" i want a million pounds but am not gonna get it - we can'talways have things we want"

thats my dh

but hes a regular twat

a mixture of 'I want doesn't get' 'really, that's nice' ' Well, I want a million pounds and a house on the moon' and 'can you rephrase that please'

not very consistent, me

Generally I reply "Well, tough!"

I'd probably annoy you

usually "well i want you to ask me nicely"

but ocasionally same as expat.. "well i want...a new car/size 10 figure/million pound..etc etc"

mood dependant i afraid[bluh]

I do like NannyL does - feign deafness or say "pardon? I'm sure I missed something" if I don't get a please.

When they were very young, I would answer them "I would like ..." to prompt them to start their request again with the right words.

Never just gave in to them - and yes hat, it really got on my nerves when my dnephew was always responded to when he said "I want" , because "well he's only little" (3, fgs)

I can see my dh responding with an Austin Powers quote....'I want a solid gold toilet but it's just not on the cards now is it?' he he...

Up until now mostly prompting (she's only 2.5) but she is starting to get it...so 'thats not how you ask when you want something' usually does it.

But sometimes I forget and just respond, if I'm preoccupied

some of these have made me smile. I particularly like katymac's. I do sometimes use "i want never gets" but balk at the implication/expectation that "please can I have" does. so I rather like the "please can I have - will be discussed". I also do the pardon thing. Quite often in exagerated mock horror which makes them laugh - as well as ask nicely. I also cometimes do securmummy's conversational response. I've recently starting trying to teach dd the difference between "please can I have" and "I would like". "I want" can sometimes be used as a request, but sometimes it's more of an observation, iyswim, eg on seeing something in a toy shop - I know she's not actually asking me for it, (well, not directly anyway) she's just commenting - in which case "I would like" is more appropriate.

Magic word?

i usually say 'whats the magic word' for changing 'i want', doesnt seem to have much effect as DS always needs prompting. He is very polite though when at his childminders!

Sometimes I get 'Muuuuum-eeeeee, I was just wondering whether perhaps I had been a really good girl today?'
Dd (4) has become quite sophisticated in her approach

'Can I have that toy'

'No, and even if you'd asked nicely the answer would still be no'

'That's not fair.'

'Life is'nt fair'

(they join in with the last sentence )