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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

5 year old DS not dry at night, looking for advice

41 replies

itstheyearzero · 29/12/2013 20:45

Hi, I'm looking for some advice on this because I'm really not sure what to do. DS was 5 a few weeks ago and he has never been dry at night. I have never pushed it, he wears pull ups at night, and I always thought that one day he would wake up with a dry pull up and that would be it. Sorted. However, this has obviously not happened. He was quite late potty training, I tried when he was two and a half, it was a disaster, so I left it and tried again when he was three, he got it within a week, no bother.

When he started school in September I had to fill a form in re his medical history etc, and there was a question about being dry at night. I said he wasn't, but I wasn't concerned, I just thought he would do it in his own time. A couple of weeks ago the school nurse rang me and advised me to take the matter in hand. She advised me to try and get it sorted over the Christmas break, when he didn't have to get up for school etc. So two nights ago I had a chat with him, to!d him what we were doing, and put him to bed in underpants. Night one he woke up at half three really upset because his bed was wet. I didn't make a big deal of it, just sorted him out and out him back to bed. Night two, same again. I spoke to him about it the morning after, asked him if he woke up when he was weeing, or just woke up because his bed was set, and he said he couldn't remember.

Tonight I have put him to bed in his pull up because I just don't see the point in pushing it when he is obviously not ready. The nurse to!d me NOT to wake him up for a wee before I go to bed as this wouldn't be training him to wake himself up.

So, what do I do? She mentioned seeing a continence nurse if things didn't go well, but I'm not keen on this idea, mainly because he has had to see so many health professionals throughout his short life ( he had OHS at 5 months so has regular heart check ups, he is hyper mobile so sees physio, paediatric ion about that, problems with his eyes so he sees eye doctor every three months), I just want him to be left alone!

Any advice welcome, should I agree to see the continence nurse? Anybody been through similar? Thanks.

OP posts:

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bulby · 29/12/2013 20:51

As far as I'm aware the doctors will not even consider bed wetting an issue until 7. Dd is 5 1/2 and her pull up is like a brick in the morning, she was toilet trained at just 2. She often wees enough to soak through the pull up. I find it very hard but speaking to friends lots if children are like this.
If anyone does have advice I'd like to here it too! .

MyMILisfromHELL · 29/12/2013 20:51

Do you make sure/tell your ds to take a pre before he goes to bed & as soon as you/he wakes?

MyMILisfromHELL · 29/12/2013 20:53

I'm surprised it's only an issue an issue at 7. Ds is 4 just 4 & has been dry at night for 6 months, but was a late potty trainer at 3.9.

Faverolles · 29/12/2013 20:54

Stick him back in pull-ups and forget about it.
It's a hormonal thing, and 5 is still young.
If he's still doing it at 7, go to your GP and ask for a referral to the enuresis clinic.

MyMILisfromHELL · 29/12/2013 20:54

A wee, not a pre!

EnidB · 29/12/2013 20:56

There is loads of advice on the NHS website. Strangely they keep emphasising it isn't the child's fault - of course it isn't! We go through phases when DD isn't dry. Thank heavens for pull ups. Wet beds just mean we all get tired!

Faverolles · 29/12/2013 20:57

MyMIl - my youngest was dry at night from a year old, dd from 8 yrs old.

It's a hormonal thing, some children will be dry very early on, some will be later, but up to 7 (and beyond for some dc), it is normal and not a problem.

When my dd went on a residential trip aged 7, she was worried about wearing pull-ups. The lovely HT pointed out that she had never been on a year 3/4 residential trip without several dc in pull-ups.

TenThousandSpoons · 29/12/2013 20:58

My doctor said not to worry about it until age 7. Dd is also 5.

Tractorandtree · 29/12/2013 20:58

My ds1 is 4.8, he's been potty trained in the day since 2.5 but night time is hopeless. His nappy (he hates pull ups) is wet every morning. I try every couple of months without a nappy at night, talking to him about going to the loo etc and invariably when I go up to check him before I go to bed his bed is soaking and it doesn't even wake him up .

My DM is always on at me to get him dry at night but it seems to me that he's just not ready. It doesn't affect school and he doesn't have accidents in the daytime so I really don't see the problem with just waiting until he's ready. Obviously if he's still not dry by 6/7 I'll take him to the gp.

Has the nurse said why this is a problem? What is it to do with her anyway - unless he's constantly having accidents at school I can't see why they are interfering.

Original poster

itstheyearzero · 29/12/2013 21:00

Thankdy for your replies. I make him have a wee before bed, and he doesn't drink much an hour or so before bed, just a few sips. Hi pull up is lie a brick in the morning too bulby. I am tempted to leave things for now and that seems to be the consensus on here too...

OP posts:

FindusLasagne · 29/12/2013 21:01

I agree with other PPs - leave him be.

My 4.5 yr old DS stayed dry off his own bat without intervention fro me about a year/year and a half ago.

My 5.5 yr old DS showed absolutely no signs of managing it, even though he wanted to because his younger brother can. Any time I got concerned, I always came back to that fact that people say it's not really a problem until about 7yrs.

By coincidence, for the last couple of weeks he seemed to have cracked it spontaneously and we all celebrated, but this week it's back to weeing the bed.

Wait till he's 7 before you start worrying him about it - that's what I'm going to do with mine.

FindusLasagne · 29/12/2013 21:02

Oops cross posts OP. Hope our boys get it cracked soon. :)

atomicyoghurt · 29/12/2013 21:02

Oh don't worry. My 5 year old needs a full nappy at night as a pull up is not enough! My first child was dry at night from 6 months old! They are all different and what's it hot to do with the school nurse anyway.

Original poster

itstheyearzero · 29/12/2013 21:04

Tractor, the nurse just said she was following up as its her job to do so, she did say its up to me what I do, but did push me to try. I did some research and the ERIC site said that when it becomes an issue for the child, that is the time tondo something, DS really isn't bothered! I was just interested to see what people on here thought!

OP posts:

spookyskeleton · 29/12/2013 21:08

Definitely leave him be there is a particular hormone that controls this and it kicks in at some point and until that happens, any attempts will be futile!

Both my boys were relatively late in potty training (DS1 had just turned 3, DS2 was 3.4). In terms of night time, DS1 wasn't dry until he was 4.5 and it literally happened without us doing anything. DS2 was dry at night at the same time as he became dry during the day so quite early and again not through us doing anything. I do believe that it is because the hormone had kicked in so it happened easily.

I am surprised at the school nurse though

Faverolles · 29/12/2013 21:09

You could try to make him drink more and more regularly during the day, and stop an hour and a half before bed (obviously let him drink if he's thirsty!)

IME, some nurses like to be very thorough and sometimes go beyond normal guidelines in their eager quest to help.

He'll be dry when he's ready, don't worry :)

LinghamStyle · 29/12/2013 21:09

My DD is 6 and I was told not to worry until she was at least 7 (she was 5 when I asked the GP) the school nurse was very supportive and also agreed with the GP re waiting til DD is 7. My older DD and younger DD were dry every night from 4 years.

DD is a very deep sleeper and just doesn't wake in the night - for anything! She's been given treatment for enlarged adenoids (sp?) and this has improved her quality of sleep somewhat, previously she would sleep for 12 hours and yet still be tired. I'm hoping that she might start to recognise that she needs to pee and wake up - fingers crossed!

Not sure what to advise you OP other than talking to your GP.

sybilfaulty · 29/12/2013 21:12

Thank The Lord for this thread! My girls were both dry at night before 3 but DS is now 5 and not at all there. We have 3 dry nappies then a full one. The last 2 nights have been nappy off but soaked bed. I've just bought another 60 nappies on ocado but will be only too pleased if we get there with some left!

Original poster

itstheyearzero · 29/12/2013 21:13

OK, I think I will just leave it for now. If the nurse rings to ask me what happened, I will just tell her I don't think he is ready, and see what she says. Its reassuring to know its not uncommon!

OP posts:

LinghamStyle · 29/12/2013 21:13

Also my mum just told me that I wet the bed til I was 7/8 so DD obviously takes after her mum

lljkk · 29/12/2013 21:14

What kind of school is this? School have never asked about DC's bed-wetting or not. Can't be in UK, can it?

LinghamStyle · 29/12/2013 21:17

lijkk I would not be surprised at all if it was in the UK!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 29/12/2013 21:17

DS1 isn't dry at night yet, he was 5 in July. The Dr has said not to worry, that it is hormonal and will happen eventually.

I would be a bit annoyed at the nurse, it isn't like he is wetting or having accidents at school is it?

Zipitydooda · 29/12/2013 21:17

The most surprising thing here is the school nurse's interference. What has it got to do with her?
My Ds2 is 6 and gets through 2 pairs of pull ups in the night sometimes!
Ds1 was dry at 3
DS3 is dry most nights and is 2

I am planning to see the GP about him only because he's upset about it.
He was dry for a week this summer; on really hot days when he'd drunk lots and lots of water during the day but then went back to wetting after a week.

Original poster

itstheyearzero · 29/12/2013 21:18

Yes we are in the UK. It's just a normal state primary academy. The nurse did sound young and eager, maybe she follows up on all of these things as she is keen to do a good job. Strangely she didn't ask me anything about his heart problems!!

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