Different child since starting school

[kizzie]

Hi everyone. Just got my self into bit of state over one of my DS twins in last couple of weeks. Since he started school full time he has really changed. Has always been 'lively' (handful) but a lovely funny little boy who has been my little 'mate'.
He has become very close to a little boy in his class and has basically taken on his personality. Become very cheeky, aggressive, throwing huge tantrums. (Even the expressions he pulls on his face are exactly the same as the other little boy.)
At first i was delighted that he had found such a close friend but now Im reallu upset about it.
He just doesnt listen to anything I say at the moment and is very naughty/rude/obnoxious.
The thing that really upset me (and it even upsets me to write it down) is that on a couple of occasions Ive even thought 'I just dont like you like this' - which has started a whole cycle of 'what if it means I dont love him enough / will look after him properly.'

Feeling very guilty - know I should accept him for who he is and of course hes going to change as he grows up.
Anyone else been through something similar?

BTW - things Im doing to try and improve it a bit - inviting other children round to tea so he mixes with more people. Spending as much one to one time as possible with him. Counting to ten everytime he does something that really irritates me and trying to ignore 90% of it.

Any thoughts welcome.
Kizziex

Hi Kizzie, my ds was like this when he started school too and so were many of his peers. It's unsettling for them I think and so they act up like this. At least mine saved the bad stuff for me and was good at school but I think they do find it hard being good all day at first - sounds like yours is saving it for you too. It's completely understandable that you don't like his behaviour, I'm sure it doesn't mean you don't love him enough or won't look after him properly, it's just a normal reaction to horrible, trying behaviour. I'd try to remain calm (I know easier said than done) and consistent and wait for it to pass. It did for us after a few months. You sound like you're doing all the right things. Sympathy.

Same here. DS1 is regularly hateful when he comes home and he only started in January. I've felt better since hearing that they have to kick off, after being good all day. I'm not much help, but at least you're not alone.

Thankyou! Glad Im not the only one. Hes actually being quite naughty at school too at the moment - so cant really use the argument that hes behaving so well all day that he needs to let off steam when he gets home. But still trying to tell myself that it really is just a phase.
Fingers crossed its just part of him 'finding his feet' but at same time dont want to completely ignore the bad behaviour and let him think its ok to behave like that.
Anyway - thanks again. Always helps to hear from others!!
Kizziex

My ds was exactly the same when he started school and when I did a quick "playground poll" around the other Mums they said much the same thing. He was rude, cheeky, grumpy and pretty obnoxious and I was heartbroken as to what school had done to my child! He calmed down and became more my boy again after about half a term. Word of warning though - it doesn't last (the improvement). Once they hit seven they turn into Kevin the Teenager argumentative know it alls

Thanks Marthamoo.

Looking forward to him hitting 7 already

Kizziex