Taking hours to get 8.5 mnth old to sleep

[katy14]

We're really at the end of our tether here and would love to know if anyone has been through this before and what helped resolve. Our 8.5month old dd really struggles to go to sleep at the moment. It's just started over the last few weeks and before then we would manage to settle her in at most half an hour. She just cries and cries. She'll be calmer when I'm in the room but still quite wriggly, but clearly tired as she's rubbing eyes etc. We have used the same wind down bedtime routine for months which takes about an hour. starts at 5.30pm with bath, then book and bottle. Sometimes I wonder if it's teething related. She has two teeth so far, but seems the same no matter whether she has red cheeks or dribbling or not. cuddles don't help either. she just waves her arms around, smacks me in the face, pulls my glasses off or laughs at me. any ideas? this is truly infuriating! worth noting that she self settles without any fuss for naps in the day and after night feeds. its just when she first goes to bed. thanks in advance.

My DD tried something very similar a few weeks back (she's a few weeks older than yours). DP was convinced there was something wrong with her. The only thing wrong was that she didn't want to go to sleep. Sounds like yours has realised she can stay up late playing with your face if she cries. Good luck persuading her to stop; we just left DD to it and she went to sleep after forty five minutes and hasn't tried it again since, but I don't fancy the flaming I'd get if I suggest it as an option.

Oh no, I did fear we might end up having to leave her to cry. We have tried the odd 5 or 10 mins here and there, but it completely breaks my heart to listen to her cry and not go in.

There are other methods too, I'm sure. Hopefully someone will be along soon who knows more about gentle sleep training than I do. If you get chance to poke around in the sleep section of the board you'll probably find something useful. In the meantime, all I can suggest is, once she's gone to bed, if you do have to be in there with her, try to be as unexciting as possible - low lights, minimal engagement, and definitely no playingwith your face!

Thanks Stormybrid, any help or ideas from anyone would be appreciated.

Bed at 6.30?

You've answered your own question, it's at least an hour too early, she isn't tired and she doesn't want to go to bed.

Hi Katy.
I have an 8 month old too, what I tend to do with mine is she goes to bed at around 7-730pm and she has a bedtime bottle which helps her feel sleepy. Sometimes she fights going to sleep like your baby does, she's rubbing her eyes because it's the bedtime routine but she's not quite ready.
I keep my daughter in her room with the nightlight on and put some soft toys (quiet ones) in her cot so she can play quietly until she's sleepy. Or I quietly sing to her, play with her a little. I don't force her to go to sleep if she's not ready.
She does have her moments still though!
With the controlled crying, I know its hard and me and my husband have argued about it - he once got up to shut her bedroom door whilst she was crying but I couldn't hack it! But continuity is the key. If you are not consistent with controlled crying it's not worth doing. Just try it for 5 mins and gradually increase it.
Don't forget they are at the age where they realise their behaviour has cause and effect.
I have just found out from my mother watching my little darling that at night, she takes her dummy out her mouth and throws it out the cot, she then feels around for the spare dummy and throws that out too! She then cries for her dummy knowing that mummy will go running in picking them all up and giving them back! Cheeky madam!
Good luck. Xxx

Thanks all. We went with a 6.30pm bedtime because she always seems so very tired from 4pm and it's a real battle to keep her going until then. She'll be calm and sleepy when she goes into her cot and then just gets immediately and increasingly upset from then on. We'll give a later bedtime a try and see what happens first. Thanks again

What are her naps like? What sort of time and for how long?

Her naps vary in length and whay time, but usually two or three naps a day, totalling around 2 hours. she basically naps every 2 -3 hours.

Sounds reasonable for her age. When does the last nap finish, though? I suspect just not wanting to sleep is the problem, but ensuring optimum tiredness can't hurt.

I always make sure she's awake after her last nap by 4pm at the latest. We try to make sure whatever we do with her after then is quite relaxed. quiet games and books etc.

Slightly later bedtime does sound like a good idea, otherwise she's potentially only up from half four until half six. Did you try it last night?

Our Lo did the same thing around the same age. I couldn't face the controlled crying, although I know people that have done it. So in the end we messed with his food schedule. He used to have his tea around an hour before bedtime followed by his bath. So we moved his last bottle of the day to help him settle & he now has it after his bath. I think he enjoys the quiet, cuddle time with mummy & he helps him wind down-x-

I just wonder if, when she's tired at 4pm, could you put her down for a nap?

The reason I say this is because my DS (almost 7 months now) gets besides himself between 4-5pm and I always put him to bed.

He wakes up 30-45 minutes later full of smiles and is always ready for bed again by 7pm.

I know people will say you shouldn't let them sleep past 3-4pm but there are always exceptions and my baby seems to be one of them!

Well, I'm not sure if it's a fluke, but we've moved her bedtime to 7pm and things seem to have improved. I've let her have a later nap too, around 3.30pm or 4pm for an hour. She still cries a little when we first put her down, but only for 5mins or so. Keeping my fingers crossed it continues. Thanks for all the advice everyone.