Advice for coping with toddler and newborn

[Madallie]

I am 34 wks today. Dd is just 2 and is adorable but she has always been very high energy and full on, doesn't sit still for a minute.

She generally (touch wood) sleeps through the night (at the moment) but doesn't sleep for long. A typical day/night at the moment is 1.5 hr nap and going to bed at 7.30. She then goes off by about 8.15 and sleeps til between 6 and 6.30 so not that long at night.

Wondering if anyone had any tips/advise for how to cope with toddler and newborn. Anything you've discovered or think would come in handy for me to know.

Any little nuggets of wisdom will be appreciated.

Is your dd active throughout the day? Even a short walk an hour before bed I find helps. Or making her bedtime a little later so she sleeps a bit longer

Get a sling and learn how to breastfeed using it. Means you can breastfeed hands free or out walking with a toddler.

I have the same age gap (DS2 is 5wo) and definitely agree on the sling suggestion - I haven't managed to bf using it but just having it makes life SO much easier, I honestly don't know how I'd leave the house without it! I got a Victoria Sling Lady stretchy wrap from her eBay shop for about £15, it's easy to use with instructions and means your hands are free for dealing with the toddler!

Embrace cbeebies/milkshake/DVDs wholeheartedly

Sleep patterns sounds like my 2 year old dd and her brother when he was 2 (he's 4)

Keep up her routine as much as you can when baby arrives, especially the nap!!' I would get ds to nap by sitting with him in his blacked out room and feeding baby dd or cuddling in the dark. After a few months they both had afternoon naps at the same time (a dream!).

Also I had a decent sling and dd lived in that for the first 3-4 months. All naps etc in there which worked out great - she self settles in her cot no problem so didn't create any rods as some would say.

As for my day, I used the mornings, when I had more energy, to cook meals for the whole day to be reheated. This included a slow cooker dish for me and DH if I was organised enough.

We went out of the house almost every day - this was to get dd to nap on the walks and to keep me and ds sane! Then I'd feel less guilty about sticking 20 mins of cbeebies on in the afternoon.

When feeding dd, I had a snack for ds. I also got the odd surprise to keep him still when we were out eg a magazine or 99p car or something.

It's hard work mainly because of being sleep deprived but it is easier as you look at your eldest and can see that it will not be forever.

One thing to be careful of is not to treat your eldest as older than they are. They do seem so grown up - even more when newborn arrives. But I look at dd, who's almost the same age as ds was when she was born, and think "gosh she really is only little". It is a big change for the eldest as well so expect a bit of upheaval.

I'm not going to lie - it's difficult. I had a newborn, 2 year old and 4 year old but I'm still here to tell the tale. They're now 3,5 and 8. My advice is to let the housework slide, except any help that people are willing to give and to concentrate your attention on your toddler. A newborn will sleep for hours if dry, clean and full leaving you a little time to spend with your toddler. If you can co-ordinate the naps eventually then so much the better. But to begin with you just have to roll with it.

*accept

If you follow the routines in Tizzie Hall's 'Save Our Sleep', you can have them napping at the same time in the afternoon, by the time the newborn is 6 weeks old.
Totally saved my sanity

A small but good tip from my HV was to give your two year old a drink/milk before you settle down for a bf. Gives them something to do and also means they don't feel left out.

Other people have suggested a special box of "treasures" (bits of material, pine cones, small cheap toys etc) to rifle through to keep to hand for feeds/changes when you're unable to focus on your toddler.

Whilst I was dreading them, I found local bus trips fun - DTs sleep in buggy and we get some quality time - we read together, spot stuff out the window - but maybe for when your toddler's a bit older.

find a routine that works for both and stick to it:) Go for a walk at the crazy just before teatime hour. Make use of social networks (in real life) & take all offers of help. Keep the rest of your life simple. Take time out for yourself during the w/end, even if its only an hour. Go to bed when the kids go to bed at least one evening a week. Cherish every moment, no matter how crazy. Time goes so fast, before you know it they will be older & able to entertain themselves quite a bit & you will have much more time for your own pleasures. It feels intense at the time, but every patient, loving, kind moment from you to them, will last them their whole lives. Enjoy x (mine are 13 months apart, having them close really pays off later)