DD aged 5.5 years says she's being bullied

[spambolina]

Ok this could be a little long, so please stay with me!
DD is in year 1 and has consistently mentioned that a particular boy is badly behaved and generally not very nice, he's rude, fights, hits etc. when DD own behaviour has been terrible at home and I have happened to say ' your behaviour is unacceptable, or unkind, not very nice etc, you never behaved like this before.....where has this behaviour come from........she has always been quick to respond with this particular boys name. I have been aware of this since reception class and have encouraged her to play with her other friends, ask him to stop and of course go and tell or speak to her teacher about it.
This term, she has continued to mention his name in a negative way, and i have noticed her own behaviour towards her younger sibling who is 18 months become more aggressive. For example deliberately pushing and pulling her, biting, squeezing her arms till she cries, kicking, hitting. I am sure a lot of this is normal sibling rivalry, and jealousy, however we've had weeks on end of nothing but tears from both.

DD is an incredibly sensitive child and Ive always thought her emotional intelligence to be pretty advanced, she is a kind, gentle and generous girl with good friendships with her peers, so this recent aggressive behaviour is a bit of a surprise.

DD happened to overhear DH and myself having a conversation last night about a friends elder daughter who has changed school, with one of the reasons being that she was bullied. DD heard the word 'bullied' and asked what it meant, we explained that a bully is a person who is constantly unkind to you, for example hitting, punching, pushing, calling you names, being rude by saying horrible unkind things. Tonight she said to DH when he was tucking her in to bed that this boy is bullying her.

So i guess my question is how do i ask her about the subject tactfully so i can find out a little more before having a discussion with her teacher??
And..... What and how do they teach them about bullying school?

Ask the school.

It's a subject covered from early on in PSHE.

You needto ask the school also what is going on. What you describe here sounds like leading questions to your DD, so be aware of the possibility that you will find out considerably more about classroom dynamics once you start the discussion. And from your description, she could be talking about incidents of bad behaviour rather than intentional bullying. Byou need to find out.

And you need to tacke her behaviour at home, whatever transpires in school. As you say she is incredibly sensitive, it should be easier (not harder) for her to empathise with the victim and desist - especially as there is no cross-over of the boy into her home life.

Thanks edithweston, yes i need to be careful not to put words into her mouth about what has been going on. i dont even know who this boy is......might sound strange but there are some parents who do not feel the need to even register that you exist. All i hear is that he is naughty, have also heard it from other children mentioning it to their parents. Anyway, do not want to go storming into a discussion with teacher until we establish what is going on with DD. I do believe that he may have been unkind to her, and she has up until this year been someone who avoids any physical aggression from others, shes never enjoyed it when her friends have played a little roughly and would ask them to stop. But yes you may be right that it could be more about bad behaviour than targetted bullying.

Will have to tread very carefully with this one.

I would arrange a chat with the teacher when school starts after the holidays and just say she's been getting upset about this boy's behaviour and what can they (the school) do to support the work you've been doing at home with her on how to deal with it. I think at age 5 it is more about them just not knowing how to behave rather than it being deliberate bullying but it's best to get it nipped in the bud or at least on the teacher's radar now in case it does develop into bullying as they get older.