Slow eater, driving me crazy!

[Messupmum]

My 5 year old dd eats so slowly, takes the smallest bites and mucks about. I'm losing my patience and want to throw her plate across the room and yell and cry. But instead I'm sat trying to appear calm and ignoring her.

I've been stupid and allow meal times infront of the tv. I find when I'm sat at the table with her, and I've finished when she's only had a couple of mouthfuls, really stressful and we both sit there not enjoying it at all.

I need to be stricter and start doing proper mealtimes, make home cooked meals and sit together at the table at every meal time. I need to give her water and not juice, and cut down on snacks.

It's taken her 45 mins to eat quarter of a bagel. I think I've just had enough today. I get so angry and I hate myself for it!

When our DS was young (and indeed now that he is 30, and comes to visit) we NEVER had the TV on at mealtimes, and have always sat to the table for meals. The only time the TV is on is when we are actually watching a specific programme.

I was a TA and voluntary helper in schools, mostly primary, for over twenty years, and have always considered that children's lack of concentration in class could partly stem from constantly having radio or TV on most of the time at home. Because there is always 'noise' in the background to their formative years, when they do need to listen to something and concentrate, they hardly know how to.

You mustn't 'hate' yourself for any of it, but it is obvious you already know some of the solutions from your other comments. Does she have lunch at school, and do you know how long she takes there?

So if you can implement some of your own suggestions, and, for a while, put up with her objections to a new regime, things might improve.

Good luck, and I hope you all have a good Christmas.

Don't give yourself a hard time. You're right that meals in front of telly, sugary drinks and lots of snacks aren't a good idea BUT my dd is similar age to yours, doesn't have snacks, sugary drinks or food in front of telly and she is still the slowest eater imaginable.

My point is that some kids just eat annoyingly slowly - it's not because of anything you've done wrong.

It's becoming a problem at school because she misses out on playtime because she takes so long to eat.

But I remember the dinner lady calling me a slow coach when I was that age and I must have just learned to eat more quickly at some point.

Try not to worry.

I feel your pain, I have a slow eater! One thing, that I have found works, is to set an amount of time for a meal, give enough time that you reasonably think she could easily finish a meal. Then do absolutely no nagging, or correcting, just give warnings every 5 or 10 minutes of how much time is left.

I tend to do this with DD when she is going through a particularly bad phase. Sometimes she has sat there and faffed for a full 25 minutes, then eaten the lot in the remaining 5. If she doesn't eat it all, I take it away and it goes straight in the bin. She has not seemed bothered by this, and I think when she doesn't eat much it is because she is genuinely not hungry. Might be worth a try?

I would agree with what you said about eating at the table too, rather than in front of the TV, I find it makes a big difference.

I'm another one with a slow eater - dd1, aged 6. We don't eat in front of the telly (or only very occasionally), and it's not that she's too full of snacks either - she's just really slow! I find it annoying too, as when we have family mealtimes, I'd like everyone to stay at the table until we've all finished, but it's not fair on the younger ones to have to wait so long for their older sister.

I think her problem is that when she's focusing on one thing, she finds it hard to do something else at the same time, and she's so involved with listening to/joining in with conversation at the table, she forgets to eat! Mind you, I'm sure eating slowly can be positive in many ways - you're surely much less likely to over eat.

Maybe try to lighten up about it? - that's what I keep telling myself to do, anyway!

Thank you for your support, I think I'm going to have to change things, and change my attitude towards it. Having a time limit is a good idea, I could try to make it fun then. She hates having hot dinners at school as she's left sitting when everyone else goes to play. Sometimes food comes back in her lunchbox as she wants to play.

Right, new year, new start! I don't want food to become an issue, and you're right, eating slowly is better than wolfing it down. It must taste horrible cold though, I have wanted to heat it up in the microwave but not sure it's a good idea to. I need to chill out, she could be a lot worse.