Has anyone ever got professional help for behaviour?

[Ghostsdonttalk]

Dd is just turned 9 and we have tried everything . She is just so bold and defiant. She is great at school thankfully but obviously she can do it.

She talks back, sulks, winds up her siblings, etc etc
she won't go to bed when told, just got her to bed at midnight, very attention seeking, won't change into pyjamas sleeps in clothes etc We are at end of our tethers. Dh is great and very involved but I am at the stage where I am afraid I will hurt her if we don't get help.

If I go to GP do I take her and discuss all in front of her?

Thanks.

Personally I wouldn't discuss this in front of her, with anyone, but it does sound like you do need sone support.

Hopefully someone will be along soon with some suggestions. Have you had a look at sone of the threads in preteens OP? Might get some tips there.

This morning she is still asleep looking like an angel. With hindsight she had two parties yesterday and apparently ate a full bag of blue bubblegum millions which she got in party bag.

i have found nine to be a difficult age with my other dc.if she can behave well at school, then i would not worry too much. i think her little body has got a surge of hormones.
This too shall pass

To be honest if your parenting is working with your other children then I would be questioning whether there is an underlying cause for your Dd being so challenging.

End of term and parties often lead to challenging behaviour but is she like that all the time. You say you have tried everything which suggests its not just end of term itis.

I would recommend keeping a diary of your Dd's behaviour, what triggers it (if you know) and how you deal with it.

Try to ignore small stuff and concentrate on one area at a time.

You need a strong motivator and a sanction to encourage changes in behaviour. You need to try new strategies for at least 2 weeks. Try to motivate her to want to behave well and give warnings before you use sanctions.

If you do decide to see your Gp book the appointment in her name but dont take her.

Good luck

Yesterday was particularly bad but its hard to tell. Other 3 Dc are in general very good. I spoke to the head teacher last year about her and he was suprised we had issues and said he would think she was just very creative and needed to be occupied lots. At school well above average academically as well as in sport, music and art.

She does loads after school and extra curricular but sometimes hard to know if over occupied, under occupied, middle child syndrome or reacting to Ds having SN anc getting more attention

Aaahhh middle child syndrome !! I so have one of those, she is lovely now but at 9 she was seriously hard work.

Having a sibling with SN's is really hard too.

My middle Dd would agree with that too.

I suppose the one thing I learned but not for a long time was to try really hard to spend some one on one time with her and to remind her how brilliant she is.

At 18 my middle one is absolutely lovely she has been an easy teenager, I think she got past all that angst early on.

She still gives us a hard time over the way we manage her SN sibling but we have almost sorted that now too.

Is there a local siblings support group your Dd could go to? Mine would never go but I know children who really get alot out of meeting other children in the same situation as them.

Good luck