My boy can't mix and it is heartbreaking to watch

[notamumadad]

My 9 year old boy has had lots of help over the years from a very young age where we used to go to weekly drop ins.

I never really totally understood why as the other children (4) seemed completely different to my boy (a lot more troubled)

He has never had a statement but was always borderline and attended a special school at 6 for speech and language.

He still receives SEN help but is now just above the level of needing speech and language therapy and has been signed off.

For the past 2 years he has been going to school on the bus, but for the past fortnight I have been taking him and picking him up and see just how different he is to the other children.

I'm sat here in floods of tears worrying about him, when we get there all the children run around the playground in their small groups as my little boy just stands there looking as though he wants to join in but can't.

It's been like this every morning when I take him in, and the real killer today was children 2 years younger than him initially looked like they might have been playing with him today when in fact they were treating him like an idiot and almost pushing him over (he has sort of mentioned that the little ones push him about before).

I can't really describe what it's like, but it's obviously not right and is heartbreaking to see.

At home he is fine, but we live in a small village and he has no friends

He seems happy enough but ocassionaly says things like he has no friends and no one plays with him and it is so sad

It's not particulery too bad at the moment but if he is still like it in a couple of years I can see him getting awfully bullied at secondary school.

Sorry, this is more of a just wanting to write this than a question

So sorry to hear this. Have you spoken to his teacher about encouraging friendships? How about inviting one of the more kind children back for tea?

Thanks for the reply.

I've mentioned over the years about how concerned I am about how he mixes with other children, they say he is very introverted and quiet, but the other children do try with him.

I'm concerned now that as they grow up the children his age have moved on from him and he tends to now try to mix with the younger children, but they appear to be pushing him around a bit.

It's only really these past 2 weeks of me dropping him off at school that I see just how bad things have got.

The schools have been great with him up until the past 12 months, but as they get more SEN children it looks to me like he is slipping through the net.

Hi notamumadad
Has something happened to motivate you to drive and check on your lo?
Assume if he gets the bus it's a distance away?
To avoid this particular issue for now I would drop off later just before bell goes. I know it won't solve the wider issue but it may ease the difficulty in the immediate term.
Does your school have a buddy system ,friendship bench or "bus stop"?
Inviting friends home for tea can be nice if your little boy mentions names of people he likes or would like to play with I have taken the intiative a few times. Again this isn't a cure, kids can be friends one day and not the next.
After school clubs? IMO friendships & socialising take practise and are not natural skills everyone has (me included!). Hope the school works with your lo to help him.

Try not to worry about high school too much, in my experience pastoral care at high school os often much better than at primary and the bigger school role means your Ds has more chance of finding another quiet child to be friends with. Most high schools have special " refuges" where vulnerable children or overwhelmed first years are allowed to hang out at break and lunchtime. My DS has social and communication issues and was often adrift in the playground at primary, he has found a few friends at high school, they hang out together in the pupil support area ( and drone on happily about their nerdy hobbies). He is much happier.

Oh I agree wiggly..... Sounds like my eldest !