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Behaviour/development

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Dd1(6) constant bad behaviour

6 replies

muddyprints · 17/12/2013 22:31

Dd1 is well behaved at school, church, friends houses, but badly behaved at home.
She is tired as it's end of term and she doesn't sleep enough despite early bath and stories till 7.30 she sleeps 8-6.
She back chats, argues, does what she wants, ignores us, hits and pushes dd2, won't stay on naughty step just gets off and laughs, mimics us when we try and talk to her, rolls her eyes, and says she can't hear us.
Her sister now also hits back.
She is much worse when with her sister, all she wants to play is rough play which basically involves making up a game of chase/ pushing/ wrestling and then hurting dd2.
At the weekend she wouldn't stop bouncing on the furniture and ignored us telling her to get off, when we took her down she just laughed and got on again, when told to go to her room she said no and clung to her sister and she is getting too big to physically move.
I need to regain control and respect as I know it's getting worse.
I've tried reward charts, she gets bored and doesn't care.
She talks at full volume all he time, screeches regularly, kicks the table all through every meal, spils food and drink everywhere, cannot sit still, won't get ready in the morning just stands around doin nothing.
I feel like it's no fun anymore, all I do is tell her to stop or get on with what she's meant to be doing.
I read with her alone each night and she gets took to an activity and her dad takes her on bike rides at the weekend so she gets one to one attention and we do lots as a family walks, park, soft play, swimming.
Any advice would be welcome I'm at the end of my tether, I'm shouting, and feeling panicky how it's going.

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scarlettsmummy2 · 17/12/2013 22:37

She sounds exactly like my five year old daughter at the moment, I am totally exhausted with her. No advice really, just my sympathies. I presume Scarlett is permanently so hyper and naughty when at home because she is bored. I try and focus her on creative play as it seems to calm her down a bit, and also get her into the garden as much as possible too. I am at a loss though with what to do with her when she is cheeky to me, at the moment I just tend to yell and say 'Santa is watching' which is sometimes successful.

muddyprints · 17/12/2013 22:48

I know it's mainly tiredness but she won't stay in bed past 6 even at weekends.
Summer we were always at the park and walks after dinner but winter it's hard.

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RandomMess · 17/12/2013 22:49

Do you think you've got into a negative cycle where she's getting more attention by being naughty than behaving? This is very hard to change because it means staying ultra calm and ignoring as much poor behaviour as possible.

girliefriend · 17/12/2013 22:55

Read 'how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'

I found at this age time out / naughty step became totally pointless. My dd responded much more quickly to either having toys conviscated or a consequence such as not doing something she likes (going to the park/ cinema/ friends house)

You have to follow through though. It sounds like your dd knows she is in charge at the mo and you need to toughen up a bit tbh, she is 6yo!

Come up with a list of 'rules' do this with your dds and also consequences. Don't shout, just explain clearly what will happen of behaviour continues. Always give fair warning.

Also think about what your expectations are and if they are always reasonable. Mucking about age 6yo is annoying but also very normal Grin sorry!

muddyprints · 17/12/2013 22:59

She isn't good to get any attention though. It is very negative at the moment.
I've tried ignoring, eg the kicking went on the whole meal and got harder and harder till drinks shaking. She doesn't know when to stop.
Also she is excited about Xmas and I've noticed that any event or day trip is ruined as dd gets that excited that she gets too loud too rough too rude and breaks something or hurts someone and ends up in trouble.
We praise her for manners, eating well, schoolwork, playing nicely, particularly kindness to sister and she loves praise but needs 100% attention all the time. The moment my back is turned to fetch a drink she is doing something.
She loves her sister more than anything, always hugging kissing, helping her, dressing her, reading to her, asking her to play so it's weird the roughness and hurting happens.

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muddyprints · 17/12/2013 23:03

Yes we need consequences, she doesn't have computers, not really bothered about TV, no main toy as such, she plays role play and makes up games with animals and Lego so she wouldn't miss a toy really.
Don't want to cancel her activity as we've paid, it's healthy sport and uses some energy.
She has had no advent choc for two days but doesn't care.
Have read that book a long time ago need to retread.
Also she has watched DVDs at school for a week, Santa trip tomorrow, parties, carol concerts, sweets etc so is having so many treats at the moment from school she wouldn't miss anything off us.

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