I just despair!!!!

[chipkid]

have just turned 5 ds. He has always been a handful. He has just finished reception and has done really well.
Have dd who is nearly 2 and I work part-time.

Nanny looks after dd and has been collecting ds from school until I return from work.

ds broke up from school a week ago. I was at home all last week-no major problems.

Nanny has had him the last 2 days and he has been very trying-throwing toys around, refusing to dress, and being rude to the nanny when she tries to discipline him. He is being an absolute bugger.

I know he is hot, tired and unsettled (we are in rented property as our house is being refurbed and both dh and I are stressed to the hilt). Also the nanny clearly favours dd who is cute and compliant etc and with whom she has spent lots of time.

nanny fed up and saying that she has had enough!

what the hell do I do-I love ds to bits but know how annyoing he can be. cannot discipline ds when I am not there. He is hard to discipline anyway as he just doesn't care about being popular!

sorry it is long-at wits end.

Can you and Nanny agree on some system of incentives for DS? Star chart which results in treats when he's collected 10 stars or something? Then Nanny can make a point of telling you how good he's been at x & y when you come in from work. Maybe the treat could be something you do together (special for him, not DD?)

have tried this in the past but when he gets into the state he has been in today nothing works with him. I think he frightens himself with just how out of control he is of himself. Makes me sooo angry to come home to a litany of complaint and so I put him to bed at 5.30pm!

sometimes I hate the way I feel about him!

Hello all, I'm brand new to this site and logging on as a last resort really. My nearly three yr old is driving me to depression with his behaviour, he can't stand sharing with anyone and if anything doesn't go his way he throws the most dreadful tantrums. It's affecting my life so much, I don't feel able to have anyone round to the house, so I'm not making the friends that I really need. I've had to stop going to the groups that I enjoyed because of how he was with other children. I've tried all the tested techniques - naughty corner, star rewards etc, but nothing seems to have any lasting effect. It sounds awful but I just can't seem to think of him positively any more, and it's really really making me sad.

I know there's no answers to this really but I just wanted to get this out there and stop crying inside.

Oh poor you!! I want to give you a big hug. I know how it is coz my DD was the same. I was too embarrassed to take her parties and stuff. Even a trip to the supermarket used to involve at least one tantrum... and god she was loud. Everyone staring really used to wind me up. My mother used to say it was because I hadn't had her christened in church... she was serious about this... said DD had the devil in her. Comments like that didn't help my state of mind, I can tell you!

DD is now 19 and is still aggressive and demanding, but at least she is now channelled and focused. She is at uni doing a degree and her level of ambitiousness is amazing. So, even personality traits you think are horrible, can turn out for the greater good.