How the fuck do I implement 'quiet time'?!

[sleepcrisis]

DS is 2.6 and dropping his nap. I have been advised on here to have quiet time for an hour instead of sleep. My DS is very capable of understanding what is expected of him and very good at ignoring it when he feels like it. He liked the sound of sitting in bed with his teddies and some books but now he is jumping up and down like the duracell bunny, throwing toys around and singing at the top of his lungs. Interspersed with 'mummy come here and play, mummy come here'. This is not quiet time. What I forsee happening is him over exciting himself and then needing a bloody nap after all, 2 hours too late!

Only option I can see is beebies which I really don't want to resort to, but I know it's the only way he'll relax quietly.

help!

DD1 used to have quiet time with an audio book CD (the same one every day). She'd follow along with the pictures in the book and listen to the story. Sometimes I'd come back after about 45 minutes and she'd still be paging through the book, other times she'd be fast asleep.

And you need your evening back!!! Though forget the bloody christmas presents. Tell your folk normal service will be resumed once you've got some sleep, in about five years.
Kids are great but they will take charge of you and make you bend to their every whim given half a chance. What I try to do (which doesn't always work, but I do have my evenings, mostly) is figure out what is best for my kids (which tallies with what they want about 50% of the time), come up with a plan to make sure they get that, and then be really firm with making them comply. Sounds a bit Victorian but I want my life to be manageable and I think kids feel more secure when they know the adults are in charge.

Thanks for the tips. 'Just going with the flow' isn't really an option for me, I suffer from severe anxiety and freak out at the slightest hurdle so I'm finding this whole parenting lark pretty tough. I do try though. Sleep is my weakness. It is what cracks me every time.

I've tried rewards (star chart, 10 stars gets a small treat eg little car) He loved it for the frst ten stars, then as soon as he started missing a few stars he lost interest when he realised he wasn't going to get a star every morning.

I'm not even sure anymore what is going on anymore, whether he needs the nap or not.

He's sleeping between 1 and 2 hours less each night, yet falls asleep randomly in the day when given the chance (we generally don't let him in the hope that if he is tired enough bedtime will be easier) Last night he actually slept really well, it's just my own (selfish?) hopes and expectations that get in the way. We put him down at 7, had to keep going in to him to resettle until he slept at 815. Then he slept until 6.45, we told him to lie down til the gro clock sun came up (7) and he actually drifted off again il 7.25. So all in all a good night of sleep, but it doesn't really fit with how tired he is during the day - surely he should be tired enough by 7 to go to sleep on his own like he used to, given that he only had a 25 minute doze on the sofa yesterday.

Today he fell asleep in the buggy at 11am. Not something he ever usually does. We woke him immediately so he literally just drifted off for max 5 minutes.

We actually haven't managed an entirely sleep free day yet as he seems so tired during the day. IF I try and keep him up (like yesterday) he falls asleep anyway. I don't know whether to put him down for a nap today or whether to stick a film on and see what happens. I reckon he'll fall asleep on the sofa again.

I'm beginning to think he's just chronically over tired? Is this a possibility? When we were trying to get him to sleep last night, it was like he was so exhausted but every time he started to drift off something stopped him. He was just wired.

Am so desperate to get this fixed before the baby comes (we have 2 months). We are thinking of taking the sides off his cot bed next week, I think he'll love the idea of being a 'big boy' and maybe all the hype will encourage him to want his bed. We had huge success when we replaced gro bags with a duvet.

Don't know why this gets me down so much. But it really does. sigh. will just keep on experimenting I guess...

Hi again. That does sound like a pretty good night in the end. See? You are doing really well!

Coming on this forum can be helpful but you have been given so much, and so different, advice it's bound to have made your head spin. Just try to relax and not over think all of this.

Sometimes kids can actually sleep better at night if they have had a nap. Maybe a short 20-30 min one would be enough to keep him happy during the day without keeping him up at night?

We tried to get sleeping sorted before my second baby was born too so I know where you are coming from. But if you don't, don't worry - you will still have time to deal with it once the baby arrives.

I would leave the cot sides on for now - it's a whole new ball game once they can get out of bed themselves and sounds like you could do without that particular joy at the moment!

When my ds was giving up naps, he was the same. He would map but wouldn't go to sleep until after 9 that night. He's 3 now and if he even has 5-10 mins sleep he won't go to bed at 7! I just put on tv for quiet time. Otherwise they won't stay quiet.

Hi again.

I'm not sure whether today was a disaster or a success. We kept him awake (an hour quiet time - 30 mins reading him stories and 30 mins of v quiet tv). He was in a great mood until about 4pm when we have a couple of epic tantrums, and then he fell asleep in his dinner at 530!

We struggled to wake him up, gave him his bath at 6 and he was in bed by 7, asleep by 5 past. Barely any messing around once he was in bed but getting him there was tricky as he was so tired and stroppy. And not in the slightest bit compliant.

I'm not sure where to go from here. I think he'll need a nap tommorrow but I'll try just half an hour.

I must say it was amazing to have my evening back. I have got so much done! But I don't think we could go out at all in the afternoons they way he was today if he doesn't nap.

Maybe I'll try alternate days for a while.

Great! See - you are figuring it out.

So it seems he does go to sleep better at night if he hasn't slept during the day. But also sounds like he needs a bit of a nap still, so a half hour one tmw sounds like a good plan. Maybe that'll work, maybe it won't. It's all trial and error. But great that you got your evening. It's not selfish to want that, you need it.

I too had a phase where we couldn't go out in the afternoons, not so much because of behaviour, but more because if DS went in a pushchair or car seat for more than 5 minutes he would be asleep, and it only took 10 or 15 minutes of sleep to "refresh" him enough that he wouldn't sleep at night.

But, it was temporary. Soon he was over that period and we could go out in the afternoons again.

Also bring his dinner forwards probably to something like 4.30 - I know it seems ridiculous, but I found that DS couldn't/wouldn't eat if his dinnertime was within 2 hours of bedtime because he was just too tired.

I would re-instate the nap, and expect bedtime to be a bit later. Like 8pm when he finally conks out. I found my little ones were all having a 2 hour nap at that stage, and as long as there was lots of exercise when they were awake, they were quite happy to go to bed. They also did not wake very often at night (ie: pretty good sleepers with a few night waking occasionally per month) They woke at 7am in morning or later.

I was extremely anxious about being sleep deprived and to me the nightmare scenario was waking at 6am and knowing I was going through to 7pm without respite. Naps have to be 2 hours to have any restorative powers for parents imo!!!I always lay down then too, and rested. I also kept quiet time going after lunch when my eldest was three - four years, whilst twins napped. I never had visitors then, and I never went out at that time. The Afternoon resumed (outings, playing etc) at 3pm at earliest. We did occasionally have friends round after nursery when they were about 3.5 - 4.5, but it was pottering rather than full on fun, and then the rest of the afternoon was quieter as a result.

I think knowing that a certain point of the day is very low key is a good habit for children to get into. Soft music, books, no rough and tumble or art or mess, all help. You can model doing quiet things yourself then, like sitting down, reading newspaper/book, listening to soft music and see whether he starts just relaxing next to you. Ds2 sometimes fell asleep on the floor playing with his trains (|Brio) Ddd sometimes fell asleep playing in a playhouse she had made out of clothes draped on chairs (little nest effect) I would just cover them up with a rug and leave them to sleep.

Telly is not restful, imagine when you are tired in the evening watching a film rather than going to sleep. It doesn't actually take the place of sleep, although you can exist in a twilight state whilst watching it. I think you have been misled by all these people suggesting short nap and wake him up after 30 mins.