My son is different,advice /reassurance please.

[tiredmama]

My 7 year old son is different.He hates sport, is completely into dinosaurs and facts, does not like socialising too much.He is very sensitive, talkative and plays with kids on a one to one basis but withdraws into a shell when faced with a larger group.He also does not believe in himself and needs constant validation and reassurance tat he is good enough.He comes across as slightly more immature than the other kids in his class.Unfortunately he is also susceptible to being bullied and picked upon.Someone called him weird in school the other day and he came home crying which completely broke my heart.He cannot ride a bike, cannot run fast and has avoided the last 2 sports days.I am very protective of him and will tell off any kid who makes him feel inferior but i know he has to toughen up because it is a cruel cruel world out there.We got him checked for dyspraxia but the OT felt there wasnt a serious issue except for slightly low muscle tone.
I keep agonising whether it is something I have done and I worry about him so much.He is very kind, loving , thoughtful and clever but he is finding it difficult to make friends.What am i supposed to do?

He is not different, he's just like our little boy. He is warm and funny, very loving, hates loud noises (always has). He falls over a lot, does not like rough and tumble, cries a lot, does not particularly like team games, loves school - particularly maths. Enjoy him.

Don't try and label him, he's just himself.
All adults aren't expected to like the same things so why should all children. Small boys don't all have to like sport, be boisterous and shouty, though many are. I'm a mother of three, now all teenagers, two boys, neither of whom are/were sporty. There is a whole range of interests, characters and personalities and it's crucial that children are not made to feel they must be like everyone elseand there is only one paradigm that's acceptable. You have to give them a sense of pride in being who they are. They might not be most popular, first team, bags of friends, etc but that's ok. Our well worn phrase was 'who wants to be like everyone else?'

ps. All my kids ended up with friends but not just to fit in. They also have a strong sense of themselves and seek out and find interesting people

Thank you!

He sounds to me like a sensitive, loving, gentle soul. Everyone is different. I am crap at sports, always have been, and did not have many friends at school. I loved animals and plants, and nature in general. I did not have much fun at school... but once I started uni my life turned 180 degrees and I have had a ball since then. Your son sounds so sweet and you sound like a great, loving, caring mum! Yes, there will be things in this World that will upset your DS, and he will have to "toughen up" sometimes... but he will learn, and get through adversity, and find all the things he is good at. And he will know he is safe and secure because he will always have his mum to support him and believe in him. Hugs!

He sounds lovely.

Thank you for your responses.I feel lucky to have him.I was a misfit myself and school was terrible for me.But hope he finds similar friends.

He sounds absolutely lovely.

I think you should focus on building up his self esteem, and help him realise there are things he is really good at. (Like knowing lots about dinosaurs, etc)

If he is not keen on team sports have you thought about non contact martial arts? My brainy boy loved learning the karate moves, his mathematical brain really got it, it would help the muscle tone and co-ordination and my son found it gave him some 'boy kudos' at school.

He sounds lovely and my DS would probably want to be friends with him if he knew him. What about joining a group like Beavers (the youngest Scouts) to help gain confidence and maybe make some friends? My DS loves getting badges!