Help me, 6 year old ds appears over whelmed and frustrated.

[jillyrg]

Can anyone offer advice, (not more critism please) we have recently moved home to live in our own home, my husband is still serving in army but will be joining us next summer. Unfortunately my house is still being renovated so we are living with my parents and I'm commuting to the school daily, this is 20 miles daily.
My son is really struggling, he's calling out in his sleep, won't go to bed, doesn't listen to anything and had some worrying conversations with him., his teacher told me yesterday they were discussing maths and he put his hand up to answer and started rabbiting on about spelling, then burst into tears cause he was wrong. I took him to a village Xmas party on sat and he was hysterical because he couldn't do something (spin a plate) like a clown, it was so over the top, but he wouldn't listen to learn how to do it.
He's on over drive constantly, will not listen and then just dissolves. He needs constant praise, which is fine but he's six and shouldn't need praise on washing him hands or other basic tasks. My father tells him he's useless , he thinks it's funny and this is what was told my whole life, I've asked him not to, as it's having a detrimental effect but it's falling on deaf ears.
I'm trying to keep him calm but the minute his granda gets home he's high as a kite .
His new school is much larger than his last ,he still not remembering his class mates names, he appears totally over whelmed by it. He's isn't shy but acting silly then crying, the other kids think he's daft.

I don't know how to help him any ideas please? I can't have his class mates around as we aren't local enough until I've moved to our own house and the commute to after school activites is too far until after we've moved, but I'm mainly needing advice on how to make him understand he must listen and on how to stay calm.
Cheers

The main thing I can get (apart from the issues with your Dad) is that he sounds really tired. I'm no expert on sleep in 6yos, but could you consider sleeping in his room, so he has someone there?

Obviously long run the best thing will be for him to be settled in his own house, where he isn't criticised. If it's any comfort, my Dad speaks to DD1 like that as well, but at least we only see him every two weeks.

The problems at school sound as if he is just trying too hard to fit in, and not quite getting it right.

This book is recommended (it has a sticker on the front saying so!)

www.amazon.co.uk/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1848123094/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386731186&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+talk+so+kids+will+listen+and+listen+so+kids+will+talk

I actually think 6 is a really tough time to move - that's not a criticism we did it to ours. But DS really struggled, very unsettled, hyper or teary. I think they are old enough to see/feel the difference but not old enough to articulate how it makes them feel.

How long have you got before you move to your house? If its a couple of weeks I'd not try anything major until you are in, if its months you probably don't have that luxury.

With our DS we did two things

1. chat about change and how it can make us feel 'funny' or unsettled (usually while doing something else like lego or craft so not too heavy a discussion just to ensure he knew it was an open topic and he could talk about it and to teach him some vocab to start to articulate what he felt) Plus lots and lots of reassurance which sounds essential given your dad.
2. play dates even if at the park, soft play area - just 1 other kid to start to keep it low key. For DS that helped him as it was easier to deal just one on one without getting 'silly'

I'd say it took 6 to 8 months to really get sorted. Compared to DD who was 3.5 and it took about 1.5 days!

Re your Dad, he's an arse a d you should call him out on it - esp on front of your son, so your son knows you have his back and grandpa was wrong to say those things. Easier said than done I know but I do think you owe it to your DS.

Good luck