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Help me figure out my baby's sleeping, please?

2 replies

Sammie101 · 09/12/2013 10:21

Hey guys, after a few weeks of wanting to ask for help I'm finally doing it!

My DD is 18 weeks old, ever since she was 3 months we've gone from feeding every 2 and a half to 3 hours to feeding after 3 hours, then after 1 and a half hours and then waking every hour (or less!) until we get up. The first few weeks there was hysteric crying until she was fed.

Before the 3 month mark she would wake 2 to 3 times a night but go back down to sleep straight away, without her dummy.She normally does a good 3 hour stretch from 7pm to 10pm and this hasn't changed.

Now she is waking very frequently and the only way to calm her is to feed her (I'm breastfeeding so this is really taking it's toll) but then instead of taking her dummy and drifting back off she is absolutely wide awake and ready to play.

Three nights ago she slept a solid 6 hour block (the most she has slept in one go was 5 and a half hours, the one time!). I was pleased but knew from past experience not to get my hopes up because it wouldn't last. The next night she slept 5 hours in a row. Still really pleased but I knew the next night would be worse.
And it was! Last night she did 3 and a half hours! I would normally still be really happy with this, but after each one of these blocks she is up for over 2 hours. She no longer takes her dummy, she just shakes her head and pushes it out. Then continues to talk to herself. We sometimes put her in her own room when she starts this but know we'll be up 20 minutes later when she starts crying and we start the dummy battle all over.

Sorry this is getting really long, I just wanted to get as much info down as possible. So I suppose my question is, is this normal? How can we make her get the message that it's not cool to wake up at 3am and want to play?! Last night by the time she was asleep again at 3:30am (after waking up for a feed at 1:40am) I was wide awake and didn't get back to sleep until half 4.

Ok next part!

She still needs to be swaddled for bedtime and nap time. She's not rolling over yet but I know when she is I'll need to stop. Right now she sometimes falls asleep in her pram but for most naps I need to swaddle her and give her her dummy, I think it's a signal for her that it's time to sleep. Does anyone have any tips on how I can get her off the swaddle?

AND

She always needs a dummy to drift off! She is a very sucky baby and will scream and scream if she's tired until she is wrapped up. Then she screams until she gets the dummy and instantly her eyes will just drop. I don't really want her to rely on the dummy because without being swaddled she knocks her dummy out--but I don't want to swaddle her much longer! The dummy is why her prolonged night waking is also a problem, because she needs it to settle but she won't take it! Any suggestions on how to fix that?

Really just feeling very tired and sorry for myself right now, not sure if her night wakings are just a phase that we need to wait out or if I'm doing something wrong! If you've managed to read this and reply please know I am very very grateful :)

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Jiltedjohnsjulie · 09/12/2013 10:37

Not sure on the dummy and the swaddling, hopefully someone with more experience will be along soon to help with those.

What she is doing though is perfectly normal, have a read of this on kellymom. Have you come across the isis website yet? Its for parents who want to make informed choices about their baby's sleep Smile

Dr Sears is a very good resource too, have a read of 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep and 12 alternatives for the all night nurser.

How often is she feeding in the day and have you tried putting her in your bed at night? I never intended to do this but in the end it was the only way we could all get some sleep.

Sammie101 · 09/12/2013 11:19

Thank you for the links, I've read the first one before but not the others so I'll have a read through them Smile

If we stay in all day she is usually fed every 1 and a half to 2 hours. I try and give her a feed before every nap and if she's fussy after she wakes up. If we go out anywhere it's normally every 3 hours because I don't always get the chance. I felt so guilty yesterday when she was crying, I knew she was tired but couldn't understand why she wouldn't sleep and why she kept spitting her dummy out until I realised it had been 3 hours since her last (short!) feed. I whipped my boob out on the train despite feeling so self conscious.

I don't mind feeding her during the night, anything after 2 hours and I know that she will be hungry. 2 to 3 feeds a night is pretty normal for us-it's just the taking 2 hours to fall back asleep part that is getting me down. I'm lucky she's not crying and is just talking to herself but the tiniest noise keeps me awake and drives me crazy! I always have to sleep with 1 earplug in so I can sleep but still hear her when she starts to fuss!

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