When good sleepers go bad - 14 mo old DD night waking

[Izabelblue]

Hello...just wondering if anyone has any advice - after a month of near continuous illness (bronchial infection followed by fever and virus) my lovely, friendly, sweet DD has gone a bit mad - she's quite shouty and aggressive in the afternoons and even though she goes down at 7pm like normal she's waking up randomly during the night, and nothing will settle her until we've basically spent 2-3 hours walking her around, reading stories, watching In the Night Garden, etc, all while she screams at us.

When she was ill we could help her with the night wakings because we knew what was wrong - now we have no idea and are just at our wits' end. I'm sure teething is part of the problem as well but doesn't seem to be all of it- we've had difficult teething times before and it's only affected daytime patterns. Plus all of the bonjela, ambesol, calpol, nurofen doesn't really seem to sort it. She's been a great sleeper up until now - easily doing 7 to 7 and I know now just how lucky we've been!

(we can't quite face CIO BTW - I know it works for lots of people but just a personal choice)

She also seems to be going through a developmental stage at the moment - just starting to stand and a few proto-words happening so don't know if that might be an influence.

if you've been through something similar any advice greatly appreciated.

We had the same with my eldest child, he is a 7pm - 7am sleeper and we hit a patch where he wouldnt sleep through all night. Randomly waking etc.

The illness has probably put her into a bad habit/routine and maybe she cant shake it.

Is she speaking a little or is she a clever 14mo? With my little 18mo I could tell her anything and she would show understanding but doesnt talk. My point being can you tell her at bedtime that she needs to sleep ALL night? Does that make sense? Now when my 18mo wakes up I go in and do the first time in her room, tell her to go to bed and go to sleep, 2nd time I repeat go to sleep but quietly and 3rd time I wont speak.

Sometimes I do not get to 2nd and 3rd attempt.

The only other thing I could think of is the Gro clock have you heard of one of these? They are really good apparantly. You could teach your lo to not get out of bed until the orange light comes on - which means its day time. During the night it has stars which count down to daytime.

Very clever and might help her with her routine. x

My DS, same age, has been doing the same the last few weeks after an ear infection and tonsillitis. Though he's never been a great sleeper. We're tackling it by being quite strict now - if he wakes up at night, he gets a quick cuddle and a drink of water then we lay him back down and walk out, and keep going in every few mins to reassure / lay back down. Although he is still waking, he's back to sleep a lot quicker and no more 2-3 hour wakes up! He was pretty cross the first time we did it but it's got easier now.

Dear both, thank you ever so much for the tips! Much appreciated...

I would take her into bed with me to sleep for a few weeks. Again not everyone's style but to me that would be the simplest solution.

Sounds really hard.

I second the gro clock. This made night-time wakings much calmer with my DD (she was about 10m at the time). We made a fuss of the clock in the morning, to help DD make a link between the clock lighting up and it being time to get up.

I'm sure that you've tried this, but it might be worth trying again to make the difference between night and day as clear as possible. So at night no walking about, no reading stories, no watching TV. If your DD wakes up, stay in her room with minimal lighting, speak softly.

How long before bed does she eat? Could she be hungry at night? Indigestion? Leaky nappy? Might her room get a bit too cold (or too hot) at a particular time of the night?

This might be a really stupid question... When she screams at night, is the sound similar to any screams for which you know the reason? E.g. tiredness, hunger, pain, frustration?

I would absolutely love taking her to bed with me but she's too independent and just crawls around and shouts in our faces - it's very funny but not conducive to sleep! I think she cries initially in pain (probably because of teething) but then it transitions to the overtired cry...

We finally had an OK night last night (thank heavens!) - I don't know whether she was just feeling a bit better or whether our intervention helped - DH gave her a very small dream feed at 11 just to reset her schedule...

I am definitely getting that gro clock!

thanks again for advice everyone - much appreciated...

She sounds a bit unsettled. Perhaps the extra independence of standing/speaking is making her feel a bit insecure? DS is 12 months and has only ever slept through five times (!) but when he is unsettled and even worse than usual we try to give him lots of extra attention/time/affection during the day, an even more rigid than usual evening routine (with lots of affection/cuddles etc) and also we talk to him about it. Not about the sleeping itself - I think it's a bit young for them to remember during the night instructions you've given during the day - but I say things like "I can see that you are feeling a bit funny at the moment" and I talk him through whatever I think might be problem ("it must feel strange to be standing up", or whatever). It sounds ridiculous and I felt an idiot to start with but it was recommended as a tactic by a mother/infant therapist and it really does seem to work. Sometimes I can actually see him relax as I talk.

It sounds like things are improving anyway but if they don't, there is a middle way between doing nothing and the CIO approach. We have had some success with the "gradual retreat" - the basic principle being that you can stay with them, even hold their hand if necessary to start with, but they stay IN the cot. (NB that three of the five sleep-throughs have been in the last week, and all five in the last three weeks, so it is working!)

I would agree with you and wouldn't want to do CIO with a baby who had recently been ill and had a lot going on emotionally/developmentally.

Forgot to say - I'm sure she's shouty and aggressive in the afternoons because she's tired. What's the nap situation?

Fortunately she is still pretty good with the naps but seems to be slowly dropping the morning one - she sleeps generally for 2 hours in the afternoon but this morning it was only 15 minutes (enough time to dry my hair at least!). I think her shouty-ness over the past weeks have indeed been a symptom of not enough sleep..

I like the idea of talking to her about her feelings...worth a shot!

If she's still not walking at 14 months then this might be a development thing, she may start soon. We had similar unsettled nights with DD at ten months and she started walking within two weeks