Patience is wearing thin- two year old DD says no everything

[BazilGin]

I don't know what to do anymore. My 2 year old DD is getting more and more challenging, to the point I feel like I just can't take it anymore. DH is trying to put her down and I am actually crying. i can't take it anymore!! She says no to everything, all (predictble and routine) activities like breakfast, washing, going out, nappy changing are met with various degrees of no. I tried different techniques, from threats to rewards and nothing works. I do try very hard to focus on positives, keep calm, stay cool and I am not shouty but it'such a hard work, I feel like I love her but I don't like spending time with her at the moment! I give her a lot of one to one attention, lots of cuddles but my god, nothing seems to be making much difference.

It probably doesn't help that I am 12 weeks pregnant and exhausted. How on earth am I ever going to cope with two?

I just wanted to vent, that's all. Feeling a bit better now...(thanks for reading this far).
Oh, and she only started sttn before 2nd bday, and is a very early waker (anything between 5.30 and 5.45 is considered a norm).

It's bloody hard.

As a last resort count to three and time out

Yes it works what Tapioca says. If I try to wipe DSs hands, he'll cry/whine/have none of it. If I say "I'm going to clean your paws" he thinks it's hilarious and lets me do it!

thanks for all the ideas, much appreciated! It got me thinking, that maybe she is picking a bit on my exhaustion and playing up because mummy is not as fun anymore, if you know what I mean?
I used to be much more playful, but I am just so tired most of the time, I have no energy for any extras! (Although I do try and make an effort).
She got really fussy with food suddenly, which I try to ignore (but it drives me nuts).
I am hoping that once I get into 2nd trimester, I get some of the energy back. We tend to have very good and very bad days, not much in between!

Lots of good advice - one thing I don't think anyone has mentioned (possibly because it goes without saying) is how important it is to stay positive and focus on rewards where possible, rather than sanctions. Combine with offering directed choices, as others have said. So, eg "left shoe or right shoe on first? Quick, let's get them on so we can get outside and see if there are any doggies having walks on the field!". Try and create the win-wins where you both get an outcome you want. And offer much more praise than blame. It's far more powerful as a tool for motivating good behaviour.

Even though some days, it will really really tax your imagination to find anything to praise

As loads of other posters have said, two choices, or even more if possible.
Also, I find that when doing mundane, routine things (get up, wash, breakfast, dressed etc) asking what the next thing we need to do is helps, and lots of positive reinforcement for good behaviour.
This too shall pass!

It will get better in your 2nd trimester! And although having two at the same time is hard, it's MUCH easier than being pregnant (in my opinion - I'm like a non-person during pregnancy).