cousins at war

[pimplybumskins]

Hi mums, I need some advice. Tonight my dd 4 and her girl cousin 5 had yet another fight over nothing as usual. it is commonplace but tonight when I tried to explain hitting was not acceptable, as I usually do, the cousin actually hit me and grabbed my collar and wouldn't stop being aggressive with me, actually put her face and screamed into mine. I responded as I usually do to bad behaviour by saying, please dont do that, I dont like what your doing etc etc. but the cousin wouldn't do anything I asked and was more aggressive with me until her mum came in to the room - when she stopped and let go of me. My DD is not always the angel and will start arguments the cousin and She will also hit back if hit. DD will be in trouble for hitting but the behaviour I saw from the cousin tonight really was more aggressive than I have seen before. Afterwards my DD said she doesnt think she wants to be cousins anymore which made me sad. Any tips on what I can do in such situations? How can I help them play better without this aggression?

THanks in advance for your tips/advice

I had this problem- I'm afraid , for a time, we just limited their time together and not they're a bit older they get on better. Can you talk candidly to the mum- is she your sister?

I'm a firm believer in trying to smooth things over but if they just don't get on then perhaps it's time to give them a bit of breathing space. It's hard enough for adults when they don't like each other but it's so much more intense for kids

Sis-in-law and I have spoken about it and she tells me the cousin always talks about DD and is is really fond of her. My DD is the same. We dont know what to do and now this behaviour spoils any/every occasion. I try to limit the time together and they have not seen each other now for almost a week. I think I will have to limit their time to half hour play sessions to avoid these fights. Glad to hear I'm not alone. Thanks for your comment Sponingbobsunderpants.

Could you maybe meet in more neutral territory then, like a park or softplay centre? Ds was always better if there was a bit of space where no toys are 'their' toys.

Perhaps you and your sis in law could agree on some kind of sanction if something happens, and set up the situation where you or she could take one of them home if it started happening?

Me and my sis in law used to buy small presents for the cousins to give to each other when they saw each other after a while just to remind them they were nice!