18 month not talking

[heidihole]

I have an 18m DS. In public he will not utter a word. At home he can go a few days between saying one of the two words he can say (bubble and ball)

His understanding is fine - you can say to him "go into the playroom and fetch a book and we'll read it" and he trots off, goes to the bookshelf, grabs a book and brings it over. But EVERYTHING is "da". He wants some water, he brings his cup over and says "da". He points at a dog, or a spoon, or a bowl of food and its "da". Da also doubles as "whats that?" He likes to point at things with an inflection in his voice so it's a question "daaa????" and I say "thats a rabbit/thats a baby/thats the television". He can keep that up until my blood pressure is rocketing. "THATS STILL A RABBIT" (he asks "da??" sometimes over and over again pointing at different things)

He makes no effort to speak though. If I say "can you say water?" he'll just look at me blankly and then get really frustrated if I don't produce the water, so its no good waiting and making him say it. He just plays dumb if you ask him to say a word.

We have no TV on in the day, speak to him loads, read books, he's still rear facing in the pushchair so I can still chat to him when we're out.

Every month we say oh he'll start talking soon but there are babies younger than him at toddler group now (12/13 months) really overtaking him! When should we be 'worried' or ask for a referral?

I wouldn't be worried at 18m really. He obviously has good understanding, and may be just slower on the expressive side. One thought.. has he had his ears checked. He might have 'glue ear' which slows things up a bit, or he may simply be a slow to start guy!

I have four children. One started with a few words at about 12m, one was speaking in complete sentences at 18m and I thought he was a genius . One didn't speak a single word til she was over 2, and the 4th didn;t speak til he was 4

4th child had a severe speech delay due to weak muscle tone, but his understanding was delayed too. However he now never shuts up. He did need grommits for glue ear. The genius early talker has turned out to a totally average boy, and the 'not a word til over 2' girl is now training to be a doctor.. anecdotal, but shows how early or late speech is not an indication of anything really!

It won't hurt to ask for a referral, more to put your mind at rest, and defo to check for glue ear, but if he is developing fine in other respects I would suspect he is just not there yet.. and when he does start it will happen quickly like my DD1. I was very worried at her slow start and like your son she did NOT like to be pressured...if anything I'd back off that.

It will come :)

Go to see the GP or the Health Visitor. Get his hearing checked first of all. Hearing issues can be missed at birth and glue ear can develop as they grow...which can affect speech.

He's not playing dumb, it sounds like he just can't grasp speech yet...the repetition thing is very usual...in toddlers of this age who DO have speech, they will repeat and repeat the same question "What's that?" over and over...and your DS is just doing that in his own way.

Thank you for your replies, I hadn't thought about hearing. You try not to worry but as he's getting closer to 19m it's another month passed and still not speaking!

It's probably worth getting his hearing checked, but his ability to understand complex instructions would suggest he doesn't have major issues.

My son had very few words at 18 months and also used 'da' (or I think actually 'dat') for just about everything. He also used lots of pointing and whinging, which was more than a bit wearing.

He's now 3.5 and still a little behind his peers but perfectly capable of making himself understood and using quite complex sentences. He's catching up rapidly and I have little doubt that he'll get there soon. Some children just take longer than others to use language, the worst thing you can do is compare to your friends' kids unless he's still at the same level in 6 months time, and then you'll know yourself that there's more of a problem.