What do your sons play with, and what would they do if you got rid of most of their toys?

[mrsdarcy]

My boys? (aged 6 and 5) bedroom is a revolting tip and I have run out of ideas for how to make them take better care of it ? I?ve tried helpful Mummy, very firm but calm Mummy, raging wildebeest Mummy etc etc.

Most of the mess is paper and pens (I let them do drawing in their room when our kitchen was out of action, and the habit has stuck). I have moved all the paper and pens downstairs out of reach so I can prevent them throwing a piece of paper on the floor after 2 seconds.

Apart from that, they read the books, DS1 reads his football magazines and plays with Star Wars figures. DS2 generally plays with funny bits and pieces rather than ?proper? toys. So I am very tempted to get rid of most of the toys, in particular:

Those rather complex Lego models - they are fun to assemble but if they try to play with them, bits fall off and get lost.

Playmobil stuff, ditto. We had a great time building it but when they tried to play with it they got all frustrated as bits fell off and got lost.

Little plastic soldiers

Magic set

Keep: fisher price toys (castle, pirate ship)
Keep a box of pirates, knights, dragons etc

Keep dinosaurs on a high shelf for when either of them is in dinosaur mode (comes and goes!)

Keep a small box of cars.

Keep dressing up things, but clear out the crap.

Any advice/suggestions? The chaos is driving me crazy. How do other people teach their children to take care of their rooms and possessions?

Do it. I threw away LOADS of stuff of ds's (8.5) when we moved and he absolutely doesn't/didn't miss it. He didn't know he had half of it. I kept:

Yu gi oh cards, they are v important to him and I don't know which are best cards
Star Wars figures
mini footballers
books

Chucked:
any random stupid bits UNLESS I thought it might come from a Star Wars vehicle/toy (I recognise most of them)
Bionicles/any bits
Lego, as it was unplayed with
puzzles with bits missing

And put stuff in boxes, i.e. we have animals/cars/Star Wars/miscellaneous (although be careful, do discriminiate between misc and crap!)

And every six months chuck a load of broken/not played with stuff.

Have to admit ds is only 2.9, but all his toys are in his room and I'm encouraging his habit of going up there to play. He only has 2 shelves of toys within his reach and he has a little table and chairs on which to play if he doesn't fancy the floor. Once a week when I clean the room I rotate those toys he can reach. I clear the toys just before bath-time and as and when during the day. Ds'll help. He's not yet asked for anything out of reach, but then he'll quite as happily play with a rubber band or paper clip as with his cars. I feel it's good for him to play with just a few properly than have everything out. All drawing, play-doh, cards etc are downstairs and strictly for supervised play. Don't know if it'll be that simple when he hits the age yours have, though.

Thanks for the replies - usually I kill threads stone dead

YomellemoHelly: I was like that when the boys were little, but we had a year of house moving/ illness etc and their room has been downhill since. So hang on to the habits you are establishing now. I don't think my boys even remember that we used to live in an orderly house

So it wouldn't be mean to chuck all these lego models iwth tiny pieces? Really?

No, it wouldn't be mean, it's essesntial imo

I wouldnt chuck them. Lego stuff ebays really well as does playmobil

Ebay it and then let him put the proceeds in his piggy bank.

DS is 5 and IMO (compared with other 5 yos) fairly reasonable at keeping his stuff in order. Although there are occasions when it all goes belly up. I think he is what Cat64 describes as an organised person. He understands how to tidy his toys up, puts things in the right baskets etc.

However TBH atm as long as he had football I don't think he would care about anything else. He is obsessed. Although having said that yesterday, while DD was napping and I was ironing on the patio he disappeared off to his bedroom and built a huge Brio train track. He has never had drawing things in his bedroom. It's the kitchen table for that.

ds2 (10) has:

top trumps cards - 2 or 3 sets
gameboy with (it has to be said) some very old games
Box of Power Rangers figures
Box of Harry Potter figures
a stash of football magazines
a bookshelf crammed with books on dinosaurs, sharks and football annuals
elc put together wooden castle which very seldom comes out so might ebay this together with the figures for it
shoot out cards in an (incomplete) album
powerpods football figures with the stadium
his brother's football

ds1 (12) has:
a box of lego which is never used so will ebay this
Where's the Wizard game
Harry Potter levitating game
top trumps cards
xbox with various games - football ones and king kong being favourite
bookshelf crammed with loads of books, faves are
Gross Magic
Darren Shan
rubiks cube - never plays it now
football - this would be the one item he would keep if he had to choose just one

tbh I am trying to encourage mine to play out more but they struggle sometimes to think of things to entertain themselves unless it is connected to the mains. This summer they will be doing lots of Outdoor Play Using Imagination! Every so often I clear out the broken bits or not played with things.

Well, the car is getting full

I thought about e-baying but I just want the stuff out of the house. I'll see if the children's hospital want the leappad though.

(ironing on the patio... now that's a really great idea, Bozza...)

Sorry if it sounds obvious, but can't you just avoid buying them so many toys. TBH the amount of people here saying they throw boxfuls away is mad, esp when we are living on a planet already struggling with our hugd comsumption/waste rate!

I know its hard to restrict others buying gifts for birthdays etc, but we try to ask frends/relatives to contribute to savings OR take DS's out for a day somewhere special instead of the toys.

We allso have a kind of swap shop for toys with some friends who also have boys, this way its not the same toya all the time, but the waste of all that plastic is somewhat stemmed!

I would definitely suggest a Santa Sort-Out - we have one of these in September-ish (when the I-want monster comes to town via insidious advertising) and pre-birthday. The reasoning is, no new stuff can come in unless made room for. Old stuff gets sold or donated elsewhere (or binned if unsaleable).

Try to see what they actually play with - I realised that DD1 didn't actually like Barbie beyond the pleasure of seeing that she had one - so discouraged buying them and gave away the ones she had.

NB some hospitals etc won't take second-hand toys now - hygiene rules. Second-hand shops still grateful - or do your local NCT have a nearly-new sale? You don't have to be a member necessarily to sell, depends on your area but you usually need to get in quick.

How are your kids with the concept of money - perhaps encouraging them to sell stuff for cash would be an incentive? Obviously not all will sell but if you have anything good for e-Bay or can sell via NCT and let them have proceeds they would be pleased (so long as they don't buy more toys with it...)

Olga, I v rarely get them toys. They are all presents from well-meaning relatives

sorry, didn't read your popst properly. My in-laws live overseas and rarely eee my children. One Xmas, when my mil asked what they would like, I said anything she'd enjoy giving but please not large or loud...she bought a great big electric piano

I really like the idea of suggesting days out or activities though. Maybe a trip to a football match or some riding lessons - something they don't usually do.

Re ebay or NCT. In principle yes, but we have building works going on and our house is such a terrible chaotic tip that I just want to get the stuff out NOW! It's worth doing once life is a little orderly, though.

LOL @ MIL's gift, mrsd. Classic.

My dd1 has to wade through her room. It's a nightmare!

I tend to get rid of stuff too.

BUT, never the lego. DS1 loves it and he keeps all the pieces in the right boxes! Strange really cos he's not that tidy in other ways.

Anything that is thrown away though (even if it is broken or a rubbish party bag toy) has to be done under cover of darkness or when he is at school, he would throw a fit if he saw it going - though he doesn't miss it once it has gone.

I bought a second hand garage for DS1 a few years ago and when I went to the house to collect it the boy who it belonged to was hugging it and shouting 'I love this garage, I play with it all the time'. His mum had to wrestle it off him. I felt really bad at the time, but I now know that this is what they all do when you try and get rid of something.

they don't notice... I regularly clear out ds's toys and books - in the evening - and move a couple of bags of stuff a time to the garage for a few weeks, which is kind of a holding bay in case they do miss something - hasn't happened yet. So then it goes to the charity shop. And we've still got tons of rubbish around the place - I think they breed...

i would agree with the principle of asking relatives to buy stuff they actually need, or days out or money in savings. kids do have far too many toys and there is often so many they cannot be fully enjoyed and played with to the full extent.

I have 10 boxes of toys waiting to be sorted/chucked on my landing upstairs....

All they have downstairs is a garage and some cars and they have played happily with them for days!

Can used toys be given to charity shops? Or would they prefer not to have them. . .?

no charity shops would love your used toys as long as they can be replayed with.

At the moment ds (just gone 5) is outside every spare moment playing any sort of ball game (ususally football). When he has to come inside he plays football inside. If we take the ball off him he rolls up socks & plays football. I've even seen him play 'invisible football' (kind of like air guitar.

I honestly think I could dump all his plastic toys (not the teddies) right now & he wouldn't notice.

Why don't out try hiding the ones you want to get rid of & seeing if they are missed? Then if there are no cries of 'where's x', you can bin them guilt free.