Excessive clinginess to DH

[fancyferret]

Hi, I just wondered if anyone else had any experience of a child being excessively clingy to their dad. As a bit of background DS is 18months and over the last 2-3 weeks will not let my DH out of his sight. He is whimpering and clinging to him all day every day and when he is not physically attached he is following him around whimpering. He does have a virus/teething also so is grumpier than usual at present but its going on a while and i am wondering if there is a wider problem?

When DS and I are on our own he interacts with me fine we have lots of cuddles / play time etc but when DH is around Its like I don't exist and if I try to comfort DS he fights me off. I don't want to be dramatic and am trying to rise above it thinking it will pass but I feel totally hurt and heartbroken to be rejected like this (although i know with my more rational head on its not a real rejection as DS is too little)

DS works away 2-3nights a week so I thought this may be some form of separation anxiety? But would this really last day in day out for weeks even when DH is in the same room as DS for a whole day eg at weekends etc?

Sorry this is long, thanks for listening. I don't usually post but feel so alone with this. x

Very normal!

DS1 was a great one for that. He went through a period of banging his head against the door whenever DH left for work!

I do think it's an anxiety thing but the good news is that they do grow our of it!

Should also say, don't feel rejected. It's actually a compliment to you in a weird way!

Your DS is so confident of your prescence that he takes you entirely for granted. Of course he can shove you away now - you'll be there later on! DH is less of a solid prescence and they get anxious about it until they learn differently.

Sounds like he has a few issues with your husband being away. Like Squitten said, he knows you're going to be there, so wants to spend every second with Dad when he's around.

How does DH react when seeing DS when he gets home? Is there a bit of pomp and circumstance? Lots of cuddles? Or does he just go about his own business and interact with DS once in a while? Same with when he leaves. Does he make a big deal out of it (take a bag/suitcase, big farewell)? Or does he just sneak out?

I can sympathise on one level in that my dh took over full time care of ds when I went back to work after 23 months off. Dh is now the firm favourite (5 months later) and I often get rejected in favour of daddy. It was really hard to start with, and I still have days where I struggle more with it, but I also see that it's great they have such a close relationship. It also means it's easy for me to leave bedtime/nappy changing etc to dh

Also, I'm pregnant so I'm pleased ds is so attached to dh as that takes the pressure off me as I get bigger and once the baby's born. That said, I'm back to sahm after Christmas while dh goes back to work...not looking forward to the fallout of this!

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I agree Misty I should make the most of having the free time rather than following DS and DH around like a spare part feeling guilty that I'm not doing more. Today I have tried really hard not to get upset with things and take it as a compliment like Squitten said.

DH did used to sneak off sykadelik and return without immediately making a fuss of DS and I think that hasn't helped but we have been trying to change this over recent weeks. Thanks again for replies I feel a bit better today x