DS just started nursery and not getting enough naps there

[BotBotticelli]

DS1 is 12mo and has just started nursery 3 days a week cos I have gone back to work PT.

I think it's a big adjustment for him: he has only been going for 1 week so far and cries when I drop him off. I have been told this will get better...Once he is cuddled and distracted by the staff he is generally ok there I think.

However, he is not getting enough daytime sleep and is a tearful mess by bedtime as a result. We have had an hour of tears trying to get him to sleep tonight after nursery.

Normally, at home, he would have a 30 minute nap in the morning around 10am, and then at least an hour in the afternoon (more often 90 mins) at 1.30pm.

Today, his key worker at nursery told me he only had one 45 minute nap, from 12.30pm - 1.15pm. So obviously by bedtime he was in a right state bless him.

They had tried to get him to nap in the morning in line with his routine which I told them about, but think there was just too much going on with all the toys and other children. So then he collapsed in his nursery cot after lunch at 12.30pm when most of the otger children nap but instead of having 2 hours like the other babies, he woke up after 45 mins and wouldnt go back down.

Has anyone else experience this when their LO started nursery?? Please tell me it will settle down?! I feel terribly guilty cos he is going through this because I am goign back to work :-(

My DS is 13.5 months and started nursery at 11 months (also 3 days a week) The first week or two we had major bedtime meltdowns, as he didn't nap enough / at the right times. A couple of months on he still doesn't nap well at nursery (usually 2x40 mins compared to 2.5 hours at home!) but seems to have adjusted now that its not all so new and exciting, so bedtimes have settled down since then. So I am sure it will get better for you as he settles into his new routine of going to nursery :)

Give it a little longer - it's likely he will settle down in time, as he adjusts to the new routine.

I expect you and nursery are already doing everything possible to help him settle eg similar pre-nap routine to home, favourite teddy (we have an identical one that lives at nursery full time. We don't THINK DS knows this...), maybe a drink of milk...?

Sorry, only just absorbed the last part of your post - try not to feel guilty (I know it's hard), he'll be fine - and don't worry too much about what the other babies are doing. Your DS will settle down to a routine that's right for him.

It's such a tough time and I really feel for you! My DD started nursery at 13 months and was still on two naps a day (which she took in a blacked out room at home...). She never managed to take two naps at nursery, and slept for less time than she would at home. I think it's normal.

I woud give it a bit longer too - he and you will get used to the new routine. Just do early bedtimes on nursery days and prioritise naps when you are at home so he can catch up on sleep. At least he is sleeping at nursery - that's a big hurdle to overcome.

Stick with it, try not to worry, it does take a bit of time but as your ds gets a bit older he'll need less sleep and will drop to one post lunch nap anyway. It's normal for children to sleep less at nursery and he'll get used to it. Provided the staff are on hand to give comforting cuddles and there are plenty of distractions he'll be ok.

Make sure you don't delay putting your ds to bed once you're home (helps if he can have his tea at nursery).

My dd started nursery at 11 months and was only sleeping around 40mins once a day there. (She was a poor napper at home too and needed blacked out room/white noise but would have two short naps or one long morning nap at home).
After a couple of months at nursery she started to get used to it and was less frantic at the end of the day. Since around 14 months she has had one post lunch sleep of around 75 mins.

Children do adapt to the routine, I've lost count of the number of parents at nursery who say "my dd just falls asleep on a mat here but never does that at home...".
And don't worry about the crying at drop off, before you know it you'll barely get a goodbye kiss and they won't want to stop playing to come home (speaks from experience...).

My daughter (12mo) is an epic napper (ha! Tomorrow it'll probably change!) and when she started nursery at 9 months I noticed that she had very short naps & only once a day. I was a bit worried at the beginning because I thought it would really mess up our routine on her non-nursery days & she'd be exhausted. Needless to say, I was worried for nothing! She's just used to the fact that at home she naps more now.

As for exhaustion, she is knackered when she comes home from nursery but I think that's not the nap issue necessarily but rather her being so nosy at other babies & so much going on. She's a bit crankier but she just goes to bed a wee bit earlier on those days (2 days a week).

My dd is now 2 but started nursery at 12 months like yours, 3 days a week. The first week she didn't nap at all but by 3 weeks she was doing an hour and after about 5 weeks would happily sleep for 2 hours there. It just took time to get used to the new surrounding.

yes to the poster who said soon you won't be able to get them out of the place to come home! Now at 2y3months my dd is growing out of naps, she still does about an hour when at home most days but rarely naps in nursery anymore.

We also found it took a while to get dd to have long naps and eventually found that she would sleep for 90-120mins on a mat on the floor but only 30 mins in a cot. (At home she only sleeps in a cot but will sleep up to 3 hours if allowed.)

Thanks so much everyone, it's good to hear your stories. I am a bit anxious about DS's daytime sleep and always have been (since having PND in th early days when he was little) and it's very hard for me to believe that he can get through the day on so little sleep, when I have basically built our whole year at home around getting him to sleep at the first signs of tiredness.

Anyway, today at nursery he had just one 45 minute nap from 1230-1315 and needless to say he was very tired once we got him home. BUT he still managed to eat a bit of supper and have a happy bathtime, before conking out in bed at 6.20pm bless him (normal bedtime is 7pm, but I have been starting the bedtime routine just before 6pm on nursery days cos I know how few naps he has had).

Maybe this will be the best thing for me and my anxiety?! he will probably show me that I shouldn't have spent so much time worrying about getting his routine 'just right' in the first year of his life .

Am hoping that as he gets used to being there he will settle into having longer naps and then I won't pick him up with massive bags under his eyes!

7pm is later than either of mine coped with at that age, both were in bed by 6 .

In my experience the other thing is to see the sleep across a week, they slept for quite a long time on days they weren't there. Probably if they'd ben full time at nursery it would have sorted but it never did.