Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

When will he find his thumb?!

18 replies

Tiny1 · 27/02/2004 12:11

My ds is 8 weeks old and will only really fall asleep at my breast. He seems to be looking for his thumb but no luck so far! I donºt want to give him a dummy as my sister had real problems with her daughter and her dummy. At what age do babies usually find it? I do not like leaving him to cry to sleep.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

carla · 27/02/2004 12:17

Don't want to disappoint you, but DD1 never did find her thumb and consequently I always had to b/f her to sleep! DD2 found it quite early, at about 2/3 weeks. However, at 4 years she's still sucking it, so I think it's a case of swings and roundabouts!

3GirlsMum · 27/02/2004 12:19

Tiny I have to be honest I think if a child has to have either dummy or thumb then dummy would be my preference anytime. I sucked my thumb when I was younger and its actually a lot harder to stop, wont reveal the age I did for fear of embarrasing myself..lol.

It can also cause teeth problems as my constant sucking pushed my front two teeth slightly forward when I was younger. Have you thought about the orthodontic dummies and just letting him have it when he sleeps?

Hulababy · 27/02/2004 12:25

My DH's friend was still sucking his thumb at middle school. Even his nickname was based on the fact!

SenoraPostrophe · 27/02/2004 12:31

I have to post here in support of thumbsucking.

Dd sucks her thumb and because it's always handy (unlike a dummy) she can:

get herself back to sleep
calm herself down quickly after a trauma
cope with anything!

if your ds does find his thumb, Tiny, I would not discourage it - my siblings and I all sucked ours with no teeth problems.

Dd found hers at about 3 months though I think. She used to slap her hand on her face and then drag it accross to her mouth - it was hilarious!

Blackduck · 27/02/2004 12:38

I know this is a contentious issue...I ended up giving ds a dummy at about 3 months as it was that or walk around with my finger permanently in his mouth (he could find his thumb, but not keep it there...) At about 5 months he found his thumb and dummy has gone south (hooray!). He uses his thumb to go to sleep and not all the time I'm glad to say...I think some babies are more sucky than others - ds is certainly is....neither dp nor I sucked our thumb...

princesspeahead · 27/02/2004 13:53

at my 20week scan with my dd she was sucking her thumb! when born she chewed her hands constantly looking for it and eventually managed to get it in her mouth every time at about 7 weeks. ds1 had a dummy for 3 months and when we took it away substituted the ear of a teddy bear which he STILL sucks. Ds2 didn't seem interested in thumb or dummy and was pretty unsucky, but suddenly discovered his thumb at 16 weeks and now loves it (he is 24 weeks).

If I were you I'd give him a dummy, and take it away at about 4 months or so. If he still is sucky then he will substitute his thumb or something then.

musica · 27/02/2004 15:43

pph - dd was sucking her thumb on the scan too! And hasn't stopped since as far as I can make out. But ds never really found his. Tiny, I would give him a dummy - after all, you can take a dummy away from a child, but you can't take a thumb...

squirmyworm · 27/02/2004 18:54

ds has found his thumb (did it at about 13 weeks) he sucks it, looking really determined, right up to the knuckle and although I know it's a bad habit, it's one of those meltingly lovely things that I can't resist watching him doing with a big gooey smile on my stupid face

aloha · 27/02/2004 19:29

If you are worried about teeth - thumbsucking causes more dental problems than dummies for two reasons, firstly thumbsuckers often press their front teeth forward as they suck, and secondly, they tend to continue the habit for many years longer than dummy users. Dummies don't cause teeth problems if stopped by school age and before second teeth come in. They also significantly cut cot death rates. Some babies do need to suck more than others and it can IMO be kinder to give a dummy. It really, really helped my ds.

PipBeckett · 27/02/2004 20:17

My eldest is five and sits on the carpet at school sucking his thumb. He had a dummy from birth until 3.5 and then automatically transferred to his thumb when the dummy went to Father Christmas.

Recently I've tried to get him to stop because his thumb is badly chapped because of the cold weather. He won't even swop to the other hand! I don't think it makes much difference what you want for your child, they find their own way. Since starting school more than a dozen other children in his class have started to suck their thumbs. As you can imagine, he's not popular with the other parents!

I agree with dummys. You can always ditch it later on. Then if your child still needs comfort, they'll find it.

Scary thought for you : My cousin still breast feeds her toddler to sleep. He's just turned three. How she wishes she'd given him a dummy!

Original poster

Tiny1 · 28/02/2004 08:01

Thank you all for your messages! Well... in desperation last night I tried a dummy and absolutely no luck! He just kept on spitting it out and cried even harder. I think I will now wait. He is 9 weeks today and hopefully it will only be a matter of time. If things get really bad I will just try the dummy again.

OP posts:

fisil · 28/02/2004 08:57

Tiny, I was about to say exactly that. We had the dummy debate in front of a screaming baby, o it went something like

"isn't there some reason why we shouldn't give him a dummy?"

"will it shut him up?"

"OK then."

But it only kept him quiet if we held it in place - he just never took to it. However, after a lot of poking himself in the face throughout the first few months of his life, he finally found his thumb. He now has the thumb of a ninety year old, and sucks it, we reckon, about 50% of the time (especially if you count most of the night).

So, like Pip said, to a large extent, your child is going to make up his/her mind for themself on this one!

twiglett · 28/02/2004 09:03

message withdrawn

Evita · 28/02/2004 10:02

My dd used to always fall asleep on my breast which I don't think is a terrible thing at this age anyway. But she found her thumb around 10 weeks old and sometimes sucked that, sometimes sucked me, but ALWAYS hated dummies. I don't like them either but did try as I hated her crying herself to sleep too. She gave up the thumb suddenly at 7 months and for a while found it difficult to get to sleep (no longer did it on my breast at that time) but it resolved itself into her cuddling a favourite teddy. To be honest, at such a young age I'd go with whatever helps them to fall asleep peacefully and worry about 'bad habits' later.

traceyshep · 03/03/2004 21:28

Tiny, it might be worth persevering a bit with the dummy - my DD took a while to get used to hers. We used it for the first 4 months or so to help her get to sleep. It worked pretty well and she didn't tend to wake for it in the night Once she could find her thumb though, she much preferred that and the dummy was rejected! If we give her one now she treats it like a toy and just bites it! Slightly worried about teeth in the future but I'm just going with it for now....

kiwisbird · 04/03/2004 12:54

My dd was born sucking her thumb, she forgot at about 4 days old after being permanently clamped to a breast
We offered her a dummy which to my horror she took (I hate them) but it was a god send. She found her thumb at bedtime at 3 mths, but never had the dummy at bedtime. We kept the dummy for the pram and carseat only, that way when she was strong enough to hold hand up with thumb in chops, she did! And dummy was ditched easily at 6mths...

SoupDragon · 04/03/2004 13:07

DS1 (5) has sucked his thumb since 4 weeks old and this has pushed his front teeth forward and pushed the bottom ones back as well as changed the shape of his mouth.

If they suck a thumb, stop them as soon as you can (dentist recommended by the time they're 1).

icky · 11/03/2004 14:24

I was so glad to find you all having this discussion as I'm feeling awful at the moment.. my DS is 6 wks, I gave him a dummy 2 & half wks ago, but yesterday I was so fed up with having to put it back in everytime it came out in the night, I decided that it was going to have to go! He has spent quite alot of the morning crying but has been asleep now for 2 hrs. Does anyone think I'm evil taking it away from him? as I feel bad

Flip