Advice please - 5 year old with "no focus" and "young"

[Jellytotsforme]

Please could anyone who has had a slightly immature boy give me a glimmer of light as this. Do you have any sure fire ways of improving concentration? Feel a bit sad at the moment :-( Should add DC is an only child

Firstly try not to feel sad, he is only 5. It sometimes takes children a bit longer to be as emotionally mature as their peers.
My DS had concentration issues at this age and he is a lot better now (10).
At carpet time he had a marked place for him to sit (not negative) and he was given a stress ball to fiddle with whilst listening.
If you speak to other mums you'll probably find its a common problem.

He is only 5? Give him a break! In a lot of countrys he wouldn't start school til he was 7.

Who has said this to you?

Jigsaws and board games are both good for concentrating. Personally I would also restrict screen time, and make sure he us getting enough sleep at night. Hth.

Thanks everyone. It is his school (reception) and now year one teacher. I know he is only 5 - just want to help him

DS and dd have both had this said about them. DS is now 9 and in top groups for maths, reading etc. dd is 6 and her focus has improved dramatically.

Your child may become better at focusing, he may not. But when the teachers mentioned lack of focus when the DCs were in P1 I pointed out how young they were. Also I work with PhD students who struggle with focus so its not unique to little children!

Sonly. In the countries where formal education starts at 7, children learn from nursery onwards how to concentrate and be ready for school. These early years are not a free for all with no structured activities. It is naturally worrying that a year 1 child is slow to focus because obviously his lack of attention span is going to inhibit learning. The expectations in other countries is that children do listen to and absorb instructions and information, even if the formal reading and writing are delayed.

I think the idea of board games is great. Make sure you do paired reading too as this means he has to concentrate for longer. Do puzzles. Make something, cooking, construction kit, drawing etc. Sit down and eat a meal together and make conversation. No getting down from the table! Boys seem to lack focus more than girls although I sometimes wonder if they are indulged more than girls - "it's a boy thing". My nephew certainly gets what he wants more than his sisters because he is "the boy". You reap what you sow!

Here in France school officially starts at six, but prior to that they have three years in maternelle. And it is definitely school, right from the off, with 30 kids to one teacher it has to be very structured. The whole aim is to train them up so that they hit the ground running at primary. Maternelle is not compulsory but 99% of children go, the majority of them full time.

I'm a bit on the fence about the lack of focus being a boy thing. I don't like the idea of giving my boys a get out clause, every week at a play group we go to I see time and time again girls getting into a crafty thing or a story or some other activity and persisting with it for ages, while the boys will pay attention to it for five minutes then they are off to wrestle, chase, climb trees, zoom toy cars around etc. they focus on these latter activities for a long time, no problem! So maybe it's the nature of the activity we are expecting them to do - catch the boys attention with a game, contest or race and they are very focused; expect them to sit sorting beads for hours? Boring.

Anyway, I'd agree that board games, puzzles, etc are a great way to practice focusing. And I agree that he's young: his teacher will probably just be flagging up some areas you could work on at home to help him at school.

DS loves Hama beads, he can hyper-focus. He is also highly distractible & very immature for age.

Um. Of course his is 'young'. He's only 5 yr old.

As to 'no focus', well that is very common in 5yr olds.

How is he at home? Can you sit him down and read a story to him? Does he concentrate on things that he really enjoys?

We also know that children who cannot focus on learning do underachieve unless this can be addressed. I know that boys, largely, play differently but how long should this happen when other children are forging ahead? I don't have the answers but it may be that learning should be conducted through active games for these children, rather than sitting down. But, when do you get them to sit down? No focus may be common but is it desirable? If a child will only focus on what they want, at what point do they learn that life is not all about what they want? It seems to me that if children are in year 1 with poor concentration skills, then the difference between their achievement and that of other children will continue to widen.

Could you quote Uncle Buck to the teacher?

"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you!"

Millymollymandy - he isn't struggling academically. Spelling he seems very good at. He just seems to struggle with focusing/finishing off a task if he sees something more interesting.

Acrylic - he is definitely a dreamer!!

Ah well it sounds like a personality thing - one of my dds was the opposite she was a "finisher" and wanted to spend hours finishing off something to perfection even at the age of 5!!!

Have you asked his teacher for specific suggestions on what they are doing to encourage him to stay on task/finish things off?

Would a star chart help - where he gets recognition for completely tasks he is given?

My DS is exactly the same, he's 5 and very bad at concentrating on anything he isn't interested in. He can sit and build lego for hours but trying to get him to concentrate on phonics etc. is very hard.

His teacher was very worried about his lack of concentration at the beginning of the year and still mentions it from time to time but says she can see improvement.

I am not worried in the slightest, I know he can concentrate when he wants to but just finds school very boring. Also my son is born in the summer - is your son one of the youngest in the year? Some of the children are six in September in my sons class so are obviously streets ahead - the teacher doesn't seem to take this into consideration. My aunt is a primary school teacher and she has told me that until a child 7 you cannot know if they have any real difficulties or if they are just slow to mature.

I had one of these. He's twelve now and very high achieving. Don't worry!

Thanks all. He is in the younger half of the year (but not August). Did jigsaw/dominos yesterday with him :-)

Hi, for a start he is young and a lot is expected of a five year old these days. Concentration is often seen as a sitting down and being quiet skill but you can actually develop concentration through active things which might help him. Learning any form of movement is good as it teaches you to focus your body and listen, dance is great for this but also karate, kickboxing or sport can be excellent for developing listening and focus. In fact if he can express himself through a physical outlet he may be more ready to sit down and listen. Drama can also help this for the same reasons, I teach dance and drama in primary schools and i would recommend both for concentration and listening skills whilst channelling children's natural energy.

Did your child get better ? Mine is 5 years old with zero concentration and focus