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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Losing the Dummy - your advice please

12 replies

slimyak · 29/11/2013 13:50

DD2 will be 3 at the end of January and she love's her dummy. I had planned to lose it by Christmas but getting back teeth, nasty virus etc has meant she's wanted it more in recent weeks. She tends to want it when she's unsettled or tired, but doesn't have it at other times and has also got into the habit of removing it to chat - she chats a lot.

I mentioned something about giving it to Santa's elves in exchange for lovely new toys and she gave me the death stare any evil dictator would have been proud of.

DD1 chucked her dummy out at 6 months never to entertain it again, I'd kind of hoped this would happen again. Unfortunately it looks like I'm going to have to do some parenting on this one.

So, please share your experiecnces, warts and all.

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uncomfortablydumb · 29/11/2013 16:54

I have no advice, but am in a similar position. DC has dummy for sleeping & when unsettled only. I'd love to get rid of it, but dc is very resistant.

Would love someone to come along with magic solution

Doppledanger · 29/11/2013 16:57

We have just got rid of dd's and it hasnt been anywhere near as bad as i was fearing but she's younger than yours.

I'd cut it right down to naps and sleeps only and then go cold turkey if I was you, good luck.

Rockchick1984 · 29/11/2013 19:20

DS will be 3 in March and still has a dummy. It lives on his bed, he's not allowed it any other time but doesn't have a favourite teddy or anything else for bedtime, so I just let him have it, he will grow out of wanting it eventually and I honestly don't see how much of a problem it can be to have it just for sleeping!

Original poster

slimyak · 29/11/2013 20:17

I'm thinking cold turkey will be the only way. Dd2 does have a teddy she's inseparable from too. She can keep Betty till she's old and grey it's the dummy's days that are numbered.

Just wondering how long the cravings might last. I might wait till after Christmas , coz I is chicken, and I don't want her to think that santas elves have stolen it, naughty elves.

Like uncomfortably I'm waiting for the magic solution!

OP posts:

wintersdawn · 29/11/2013 20:30

Rockchick you could be us, my dd is 3 in March and she's the same, bed and naps only for dummy, it only comes out of her bed if she's really, really sick. As she doesn't have a favourite toy/ blanket I'm just waiting for her to outgrow it.

cordyroy · 29/11/2013 20:42

Same here, our DS is three next week and relies on his dummy at bed time. He doesn't have it any other time but is adamant nobody is taking it away!!

joanofarchitrave · 29/11/2013 20:44

I was 7 when my mum eventually had to lose mine... do it when you are ready tbh, it never did me any harm [mistily wonders if I could buy one for those 'need chocolate' moments]

MillyMollyMama · 30/11/2013 01:00

I never gave my two a dummy due to the dilemma of taking it away. You could follow the advice in The Last Noo Noo. However, it also strikes me that your children dictate to you what they want. Children do cry. It's what they do from time to time so it's best to just chuck it out, lose it, bury it, cremate it or whatever and get on with teaching you child that sucking is not necessary to get to sleep. I know this sounds a bit harsh but if you no longer want the dummy to be available, lose it. Say it's gone to a needy baby somewhere else.

extracrunchy · 30/11/2013 01:14

My DS is 2 1/2 and this week we gave all the dummies to Santa's reindeer - they need them so they can bring all the presents at Christmas. Seemed to work! I anticipated a nightmare but he's just got on with it (bar a couple of minor grizzles at bedtime). I think whatever you do, you've got to stick with it and she'll get over it!

uncomfortablydumb · 30/11/2013 09:12

Yes Milly that did sound harsh. I gave a dummy as I preferred that to a thumbsucker, which is harder to stop, plus the research in reference to SIDS.

Of course we can just take it away but we are obviously looking for the least painful effective way of doing it. As you never gave a dummy maybe you can't appreciate this. It is clearly a common issue, but maybe all dummygivers just let their kids dictate everything

kimlo · 30/11/2013 09:41

my 4 year old had to give hers up on Monday

she made a bit of a fuss on the Monday night and when she got up in the morning I told her I was really please she slept without one and her reply was "yes but I didn't like it"

it was no where near as hard as I had thought i was.going to be infact it was harder when I took dd1s away when she had just turned 1

rainbow26 · 01/12/2013 08:19

My ds1 is 9 and he used to love his dummy or dumdums as we used to call it he used to have two at a time,1 in mouth and 1 in his hand.He was about 4 and a half when he gave his up,he was ill at the time and had a lot of ulcers in his mouth so he couldn't use his dummy much,I took the opportunity to 'loose' his dummy.I remember he kept asking for it but I just kept saying Mammy can't find it at the moment I will get another one when we go to the shops,I would then quickly try and change the subject and give him something else to entertain him e.g a favourite toy.Eventually after a few days he stopped asking so much .I never thought my ds would ever give his dumdums up,I think I was lucky with the fact he was unwell so couldn't protest as much,but I think the fact he was a bit older helped.Don't feel pressurised into your DD giving hers up I have always found that it always helps to wait until your child is ready,or a bit older.It won't do her any harm to use her dummy for a bit longer.

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