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Worried that school has totally knocked my 4 year old's confidence

2 replies

allyfe · 25/11/2013 10:51

My daughter started reception in September. She was desperate to start, and she loves it. But, at parents evening we found out that she won't talk to the teachers. She is painfully shy with them and she chews her shirt or cardigan a lot. She seems to be okay with the other children, although she does rely quite a lot on a pre-school friend in the another class at play time. Before she started school, she was a really happy, confident little girl. She has always been a little shyer with adults, but she was able to talk to them and interact with them. Now she won't do it with anyone. She is also now very shy with older children (hides her face, won't talk in front of them). When she started pre-school at 2 1/2 she was also very shy and quiet, but she was there for two years and she left full of confidence and happiness. I'm just so upset that she seems to have lost all of that (not the happiness, just the confidence). I'm not sure what to do to try to help her to build it up and to feel more confident in herself. I've posted this in the primary school bit too, because I thought it might get a different audience on both places. So apologies if you have seen this twice!!

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ICameOnTheJitney · 25/11/2013 14:42

Ah she sounds like my eldest DD. She was just like this...it caused me a lot of worry! She's absolutely fine now and the way I helped her was to not force her to interact....and never to openly comment on her apparent shyness....but just to say "Oh she's not in a talking mood today and change the subject.

I also invited a variety of girls from her class to play....after school for a couple of hours. Not loads of playdates but around 1 every 3 weeks....if you're not sure who to ask, speak to the teacher and explain you want to boost DDs confidence and would like to help DD to make bonds with girls in her class....the teacher will know who the most open little girls are and might suggest one or two for you.

otherwise please don't worry...and don't push her at all as it;s often a phase.

allyfe · 26/11/2013 22:41

Thanks ICameOn. They are really helpful suggestions. I spoke to the teacher today and she is going to make 5 minutes a day to talk one-to-one with my DD just as part of the classroom activity. I'm really hoping it will help her to bond with the grown-ups. I find it hard watching my children and trying to encourage them to be themselves, at the same time as just letting them be themselves!

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