6 year old "scared" of being alone

[BornToFolk]

I'm worried (and more than a bit frustrated) by DS (just 6). He's never been great at independent play and had quite bad seperation anxiety as a baby/toddler but things have been gradually improving over the past few years as he's got older.

Until recently, when things have got drastically worse to the point where he dislikes not being in the same room as me. Ever. He follows me around the house, even bangs on the door when I'm in the toilet. He can't seem to entertain himself, all I hear at the moment is "what shall we do now?" He wants to play with me all the time and won't even play if I'm in the same room doing something else - I have to be playing with him.

I have tried talking to him about it and he says that he's just "scared of scary things" when I'm not there but can't/won't elaborate further. I have reassured him that there is nothing scary in our house, that it's safe etc. I've talked about the importance of privacy (esp in regards to using the loo!) but he still bangs on the door with "I've got something important to tell you!"

I really don't know what to do about it. I do find it annoying to be constantly followed around but really I'm more concerned that he doesn't seem able to amuse himself and also that something may be bothering him.

As a bit of background, his dad moved out about 18 months ago (it was sudden, I discovered an affair). Obviously DS was very upset at the time but seems OK with it now, although he does talk sometimes about wishing that Dad still lived with us. Nothing's happened recently to trigger this behaviour, as far as I can tell. We were burgled shortly before ExP moved out which I wonder if it might be related to "scary things in our house"? Although, he's never expressed any fear about burglars...

He spends ever other weekend with his dad and is happy to go there. He's also happy and settled at school and does really well in social settings. He's also fine at bedtime (thank god!) as long as I promise to come and check on him when he's asleep.

Sorry, waffling on now! I think I'm just looking for a bit of advice on how to encourage independent play and how to help him not be worried about being in a room by himself.

Of your DD copes well at school, he obviously can separate from you and function well, which I think bodes well for the future. I too have a nervous, and sometimes clingy DD who can be very demanding of attention. I don't have any magic answers, but would recommend a mix of a consistent routine to promote feelings of security, and seeing some boundaries in place. For example, if he plays alone for 10 minutes (start with short periods and move up), he gets 15 mins of undivided attention from you. I would give him small rewards when he leaves you alone on the loo, and consequences that you can stick to if he doesn't. Good luck, and let us know if you crack it.